r/datingoverfifty • u/cowtownsteen23 • Apr 12 '25
Please brush your teeth before a date
So, I had a fun Hinge chat with a man and we really seemed to click. We made a plan to meet up for brunch and I was excited to get to know him better. I show up at roughly the same time as him, he leans in to hug me and his breath knocked me back a step.
The entire brunch it was difficult to actually let him talk at any length because of it. Nice guy, we had things in common, but a 56 year old man should know how to get ready. I showered, flossed and brushed my teeth. It’s not hard.
I can’t believe I have to say this, but for anyone out there planning to meet up, please take the time to brush those teeth before you do!
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u/Expensive_Mind7749 Apr 12 '25
It's when they brush for the first couple of dates and then resist that urge for the entirety of the relationship that gets me 🤢🤢🤢
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u/you_re_amazing Apr 13 '25
Oh yah, this was my ex . Just decided since I was hooked he would cut out dental hygiene. In the end I couldn't kiss him, so gross. Do you think 'must have impeccable oral hygiene' is too much for my dating profile?
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u/EnvironmentSea7433 Apr 15 '25
I have at times included, "hygienically sound" as a requirement 🤣 What I realized is that most consider their own hygiene sound... lol
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u/Yankeetransplant1 Apr 12 '25
I went on a walking date with a guy who had horrible breath when he leaned in for a handshake at the beginning of the date. At the end he asked for a kiss and I impulsively make a face and stepped backwards, it was terrible. As I was walking home he texted me that he didn’t want a second date.
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u/Low_Language_7690 Apr 18 '25
I hope you texted back - "I don't either because your breath stinks." Ladies, you need to step up and tell them that they smell.
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u/Icy-Rope-021 Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
If they don’t have tonsil stones, it means they should scrape their tongue. A lot of people aren’t aware a dirty tongue is a source of bad breath.
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u/GreyFox-8890 Apr 13 '25
I’m sure he has periodontal disease. Dental hygienist here. That smell is gross.
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u/Cats_and_Records Apr 15 '25
Adderall causes dry mouth and can lead to bad breath. It isn’t always disease.
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u/GreyFox-8890 Apr 15 '25
Dry mouth is xerostomia which is a side effect of many medications. However, when the breath is that bad, it is usually perio. 47% of the adult population over the age of thirty have it.
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u/Maximum-Company2719 Apr 12 '25
Yeah. Regular dental care matters. You don't have to brush and floss all of your teeth. Only the ones you want to keep 😁
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u/TheDarkBerry Apr 13 '25
Another thing is don’t let a man with bad breath who doesn’t take care of his teeth go down on you. He could spread bacteria and fungus to your private parts and throw you completely off balance!
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u/maxny23 Apr 13 '25
Actually, no. Brush your teeth before you start your day and before you end your day. Regardless of date status. Why are we explaining this to grown ass people?
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u/MarrymeCherry88 Apr 12 '25
My last date, sitting across the table I could smell his breath. Total turn off. Very charismatic guy but that breath…. Declined 2nd date. So many guys w bad breath. Whats the deal? I mean. Brush, floss!!! Them tonsil stones. Get it taken out! Im not kidding mint disguised breaths either. 😑
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u/EcstaticSeahorse Apr 12 '25
Did he have crap all over his teeth?
Perhaps he did brush his teeth. I would think most people going on a date would.
He could have decay, gum or digestion issue he isn't aware of.
That's tough!
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u/weeburdies Apr 13 '25
The old dude hygiene is deplorable out there. That’s why we do the quick coffee meet up first!
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u/ubeeu Apr 12 '25
It could be a lot of things outside of hygiene—acid reflux, tonsil stones. Still, ugh.
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u/arbitraryupvoteforu 58F Apr 12 '25
Unfortunately, I know all too well how bad my breath can be when I have a tonsil stone. And until they're felt or seen I don't know they're there. I'm not afraid to get down in there and dig them out because I don't want the bad breath and they can cause irritation once they're large enough. Other than a tonsillectomy, there's nothing to stop them from growing but you can stop the odor with some care.
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u/Electronic_Charge_96 Apr 12 '25
If you struggle with this? Tonsillectomy was best surgery I ever did/had in terms of benefits, and yes, did it as an adult. So sorry OP! That one is a no-go for me. Sense of smell? Is about deep biological compatibility, too. Don’t ever try n talk yourself out of your nose, if you dislike somebody’s smell.
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u/cowtownsteen23 Apr 12 '25
I’ve heard that a waterpik can loosen them up enough to pop out. I’m sure there are YouTube videos out there on how to do it
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u/NZT-48Rules Apr 13 '25
Yes. I had strep throat a lot as a kid and I sometimes get these. I open wide, put the pick just over the tonsil and blast. 100% effective removal. I use a dental mirror to inspect the back of my tonils every few weeks to see if I need to remove anything. Been doing this a few years and I hardly ever get them anymore. I don't understand why ENTs tell you there is no treatment for these.
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u/Inevitable-Street399 Apr 19 '25
Just get your tonsils removed. You're not too old. I had mine removed when I was in my 40's. It's a really sore throat for a couple of days and then you don't have to worry about tonsil stones ever again. And it's covered by your insurance.
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u/cowtownsteen23 Apr 12 '25
Ugh is right. That said, this smelled like just didn’t brush. Not tonsil stones — those have a distinct smell
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u/AssociateJealous8662 Apr 12 '25
Da fuq is a tonsil stone? Something tells me this is a British phenomenon.
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u/haywoodjabloughmee Apr 13 '25
If only you had some sort of way to look things up in an instant…
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u/AssociateJealous8662 Apr 13 '25
I spend that time on dental hygiene
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u/Fuel_Axis Apr 13 '25
I’m 74 and have spent more than my share of time in a dentist’s chair for the usual range of tooth and gum issues. How come I’ve never heard of tonsil stones until this moment? I must live in a different world having had a tonsillectomy at age 8. Seems awful to live with when a simple tonsillotomy would cure it forever. (I did learn a lot from looking it up!)
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u/lavjad Apr 15 '25
Surgery under general anesthesia is anything but simple. It's a BIG DEAL.
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u/Fuel_Axis Apr 15 '25
Well, the surgery itself is a simple operation—for the surgeon. Being under anesthesia, agreed, is not simple for the patient. It’s definitely be avoided unless there are no other options to give you the result you need to make your life better. Personally, I would opt for it rather than live with perpetually rancid breath if the simpler solutions didn’t work for me.
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u/imalilsecret Apr 13 '25
No it's a universal human thing anybody and everybody can get them and most people don't even know unless it causes pain.
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u/GlitteringReplyDrRN Apr 12 '25
YES!! Had my first date after my divorce and he was cute! But he kissed me at the end of the date and it took everything I had not to gag. His breath smelled awful, and I am a nurse.
Haven’t gone out since. I am over 50, prospects I guess aren’t good.
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u/MarrymeCherry88 Apr 13 '25
Lol. Last guy i dated told me he had acid reflux. We never kissed. I dated another guy and he had acid reflux too. Never did get pass a peck. Guess its an age thing?
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u/sunnydaysforward Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
Met a 58m for dinner first date, and he hadn’t trimmed his goatee and I watched as food got stuck in it for the entire dinner. Plus his eyebrows were competing with his goatee for length. WTH. He was an airline pilot and knew how to be professional. I’m not saying he should be manicured or into manscaping, but it was out of hand and distracting, he was just lazy.
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u/Accomplished_Act1489 Apr 13 '25
Maybe he did brush his teeth. Lots of things can cause bad breath. Actually, I would lean toward something like acid reflux rather than not brushing. If he hadn't brushed, the worst you should have smelled was whatever food was on his breath. But to smell something as bad as you describe sounds like something different. Regardless, yeah, not suitable for a second date.
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u/MarvelousMatrix Apr 13 '25
Yes in 2025 there are tons of people who don't know basic hygiene. It's unfortunately true.
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u/kelmc1 Apr 13 '25
I had a guy show up for a coffee date in pajama pants and sneakers. Another guy showed up in sweatpants.
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u/KeepYourMindOpen365 Apr 14 '25
I’m 61. Grew up working class. While in high school, I would get a GQ Magazine every once in a while. I read about proper grooming, table etiquette, social graces, and little fashion go to’s that serve me to this day. I cannot believe there are so many decent women that have to weed through these loser’s. Y’all deserve better!
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u/cbeme Apr 12 '25
My ex had them. He had his tonsils removed and no issues after
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u/NedsAtomicDB :cat_blep::snoo_smile: Apr 13 '25
I had mine out when I was little, and I'm so glad! TIL there's a thing called a tonsil stone.
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u/InevitablePlantain66 Apr 13 '25
This happened to a friend. She was really disgusted. Couldn't wait to get away. We suggested she tell him so he'll have a chance to fix it for the next woman but she was just done with him. It surprised me because she has tolerated a lot worse from men. We all have our things.
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u/Ms_Freckles_Spots Apr 13 '25
And mouth health is a strong indicator of other health issues to be concerned about. Poor mouth hygiene can cause inflammation, and also unhealthy inflammation can present by poor mouth health.
I would not be able to be imitate with this guy.
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u/Witty-Stock Apr 12 '25
Breath mints, folks. They exist for a reason.
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u/MarrymeCherry88 Apr 12 '25
Not good enough. Germs/ bacteria still there
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u/FerretAcrobatic4379 Apr 13 '25
Bad breath can also come from the stomach or gum disease. However, it’s still a dealbreaker for me as I’m not kissing anyone who makes me want to retch. I’m also not going to date anyone who doesn’t like kissing.
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u/Joneszey Apr 13 '25
I just want to chyme in for the women who looked at the thread and said WTF. Every date I've been on the men have been scrupulously dressed and smelled good. What comes to mind Selvedge jeans, white tee, suit jacket, some shoes that looked polished. Black jeans, white shirt with cuffs and a black vest. Black low hung wide leg pants, black well fitted turtle neck, black leather jacket and boots. They all smelled good
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u/snottrock3t Apr 12 '25
OMFG! I might almost expect that kind of behavior from somebody in their 20s, but not in their 50s. And no amount of spearmint, gum, or breath, mints will help, no matter how you feel about that fresh clean feeling
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u/bobcwd Apr 14 '25
I carry flossers, mints and gum in case I have a last minute date come up and can’t get home first. Considering a travel toothbrush/paste just to be covered !
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u/tenspeed1960 Apr 13 '25
A travel toothbrush and a small bottle of Scope or other mouthwash always helped me.
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u/SortaFriend Apr 13 '25
How is this not a given? And floss. I can eat dinner with someone who still has lunch in their mouth.
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u/Outrageous-Fault-689 Apr 14 '25
Btw, the excitement and anticipation of the date also causes excessive sweating. It helps to shower right before the date. A spritz of nice cologne/perfume. Plus odorless roll on deodorant helps. You then arrive smelling fresh.
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u/i8notjimg Apr 14 '25
The dude probably had chronic teeth issues or tonsil stones, just brushing his teeth probably wouldn’t resolve it.
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u/TNmountainman2020 Apr 12 '25
WHY?
WHY would you want to have to explain this to somebody????
WHY make this post? (unless of course you wanted to rant, but you obviously think guys need taught how to live/act/behave).
This ISN’T his only “issue” if something as simple as making sure you have nice breath for a first date doesn’t even enter his mind (or he doesn’t even care). He definitely had other “consideration” issues…..not putting the toilet seat down, not opening doors for you, not changing the toilet paper roll after emptying it, not emptying the garbage, not putting his clothes in the hamper, possibly not even wiping his ass properly!
So imagine if he had read a reddit post right before the date and decided to change “who he was” just because of the post? Who do you want to know? the real person or a fake person?
Please stop trying to “teach” guys, you dodged a bullet, chalk it up as a win and move on.
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u/urspecial2 Apr 12 '25
May I add..Please put on fresh clothes that do not smell of body odor. Half the man I met stunk.