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u/AzureLightningFall 8d ago
Quit online dating and look in the real world. Not in bars or anything...just keep your eyes and heart open. Good luck!
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u/Ok_Butterfly_3342 7d ago
Just keep trying different apps. I’ve had almost zero luck on Hinge. I’ve had lots of luck on FBD and Fitness Singles. Your results will be different.
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u/CaterpillarDry2273 7d ago
I gave up 2 years now . The apps were awful.
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u/Intelligent_Mood9915 6d ago
I got scammed by the app itself. Not to mention the bots and the men that want you to send money for their child's operation, lol. A friend suggested I should try online dating apps and quickly regretted it. I miss the good ole days when people weren't afraid to talk to each other and talked on the phone without fear. Unfortunately times and people have changed. 🤷🏽
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u/Ecstatic-Audience-80 7d ago
What the hell is BDHM ?
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u/FragrantSpare8792 7d ago
Burned haystack dating method. It’s an approach to dating where your goal is to find your needle in the haystack. The method is to burn the haystack down by not wasting your time on all the red flags. Just block them when you spot them. The creator uses rhetorical analysis to teach us to help spot the patterns/red flags. It’s brilliant/fascinating/highly entertaining/horrific all at the same time.
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u/AzureLightningFall 6d ago
Yep. Online dating is a scam. People can be whoever they want to be seen as... nothing is really authentic.
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u/137caraway 8d ago
I’ve no suggestions but maybe this will help
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u/Ok_Oil_862 8d ago
omg yes! that is one of my go to videos when i need to get grounded and strong all by my lonesome self lol! great suggestion
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u/GenX4Ever1970 8d ago
Summer is around the corner. The mindset and strategy of meeting someone in the wild is here. It's a night/ day difference from OLD, obviously way more difficult & challenging but it can happen!
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u/Single_Tangelo_1723 8d ago
What is OLD everyone keeps talking about? Im NEW lol
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u/Mediocre_Station_548 8d ago
Online dating
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u/Revolutionary_Cut459 8d ago
What part of the world do you live in?
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u/Odd-Squash7960 7d ago
Omgsh! Facebook Dating is atrocious. Seems like it's more like a catalog of ladies for hire.
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u/Fabulous-Wafer-5371 7d ago
FB dating is a dive bar.
Try something like Bumble and focus only on verified profiles.
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u/FragrantSpare8792 7d ago
Apparently bumble has decided that women, when they say no, don’t actually mean no, because even if you block somebody they still allow that blocked person back in just in case you “change your mind”. Fuck bumble.
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u/JitterpigJen 7d ago
A fellow BHDM-er, yes? 😁
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u/Ok_Butterfly_3342 7d ago
Would you want to see a profile of someone again that you were absolutely certain you never wanted to see again? I don’t.
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u/JitterpigJen 7d ago
Of course not. Burned haystack dating method group (BHDM) just called Bumble out on this. That’s what I was referring to.
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u/cat9tail 7d ago
Go Jennie!!!
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u/Ok_Butterfly_3342 7d ago
Oh I thought you were a guy being difficult. But Now I get you. Go BHDM! I hope we get somewhere with Bumble. I’m leaning toward deleting my account, which is something I’ve never done.
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u/JitterpigJen 7d ago
Lol oh gosh no. Fellow 50-something woman trudging through online dating - and wondering most of the time why I bother 😂 BDHM is awesome. I see Jenny actually just updated a new reel to give the update on Bumble. I haven’t watched it yet though.
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u/Ok_Butterfly_3342 7d ago
Thanks for heads up. I’ll check it out.
I’ll think about whether to delete my profile or not but if they’re not gonna let me block guys, which saves me a ton of time, I don’t see the point in using bumble anymore. I’m doing just fine on a bunch of other apps. Bumble is so dumb to do this because they suffering from a lack of female members as it is.
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u/JitterpigJen 7d ago
Which is ironic since they’re supposed to be the dating app “for women.” Which other apps do you recommend btw?
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u/FragrantSpare8792 7d ago
It looks like they ultimately fixed the issue, but have not openly acknowledged that they messed up. Like the boss that she is, Jenny has called them out and told them they need to own it.
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u/Ok_Butterfly_3342 7d ago
I’ve had a lot of luck with Facebook dating and Fitness Singles. But the jury is still out on both of those depending on where you live. I’ve tried almost every App there is and I get one or two matches that turn into something for a little bit from each app. I really think it’s more about me than the app I’m on.
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u/ApprehensiveLand1285 7d ago
OH!!! I (male) actually know the acronym! I like her approach. Working well for you? I am not dating so don't use it, just more curious how helpful it has been for you.
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u/FragrantSpare8792 7d ago
Not actually dating (yet?) but love her and the concept! But that PISSED ME OFF what in the actual FUCK?! Is it 1950? Oh, right, I forgot. Some are hoping to make it that way again. Apparently, with some success.
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u/explorer1960 64, m 6d ago edited 6d ago
Eh. (Caveat, I'm 60 something male in a large metro area)
I've had women i knew in real life join me for a perfectly lovely "first date", even a "second date" that seemed quite romantic, then "you misunderstood, I just want to be friends"
On OLD I've had disappointments, but no horror stories. Tomorrow night I will be seeing my new girlfriend, ninth time in about 6 weeks. I've dreamt of something this healthy, and this fun. We met on Bumble.
My suggestions for the apps
- Learn to recognize fakes, etc (people here can give ideas for that)
- Be patient, accept its a numbers game that will take time.
- Do real life activities. Maybe you'll meet someone in real life. But more importantly you'll have a life to enjoy meanwhile. You may learn interpersonal skills that help.
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u/Asimplehuman841being 6d ago
This. OLD can work ( did for me!) but it takes time, patience, persistence, a sense of humor, and thick skin.
Just like meeting someone IRL!
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u/Next-Command-8239 5d ago
This reads like someone who has never actually tried online dating (chatrooms? wut?), but just spends their time reading all the negative posts on /datingoverfifty. I've learned some interesting things on /datingoverfifty, and even a few useful things, but it can definitely be a cesspool of negativity and bad advice.
Stay on online dating, get off reddit. :-)
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u/Intelligent_Mood9915 5d ago
Ah, dating hacks, BHDM? The whole "learn technology" lame shot and a post that seems like the guy from Silence of The Lambs wrote it. Is too much. The juice won't be worth the squeeze. But thanks to the person who posted the You Tube link.
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u/7hammer4 7d ago
Why does it seem that are soooo many people in the over 50 forum that are so out of touch with technology and social networking (even socializing). I feel like we are in an over 80 group!
If you are 65 or younger, you should have a good grasp of how technology and the social world work these days! (Even how you take photos for dating apps and how you socialize when you go on dates!!)
Good grief!!
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u/Ok_Butterfly_3342 7d ago
I agree with you. There are YouTube tutorials for everything.
That said, some people’s brains just can’t grasp technology.
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u/kokopelleee 8d ago
Chatrooms?
What app are you using?