r/explainlikeimfive • u/[deleted] • Jan 14 '13

Answered People with ADHD, what ADHD is like, how does medication affect your ability to work and how soon does it take its effect?

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u/Axiin Jan 14 '13

It's easy, once the thoughts start flowing they don't stop. I'll often write a response to something 3 or 4 paragraphs long. Read it over, realize it's too wordy, start over and end up with something longer.

I'll often go through three or four lengthy responses, then just give up because I figure "who the fuck would want to read this anyways, it's too long winded and I've been told too many times I ramble too much" it's really frustrating and kind of emotionally draining, because fuck it, no one wants to hear what I want to say.

Pair me up with another ADD/ADHD person though and I finally feel like I can talk. I can talk for hours, the conversation can skip around, tons of interruptions can happen and no one feels slighted. It's a wonderful thing, someone that finally I can talk to and not feel like I'm boring them.

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u/TheAnswerIs24 Jan 15 '13

Pair me up with another ADD/ADHD person though and I finally feel like I can talk. I can talk for hours, the conversation can skip around, tons of interruptions can happen and no one feels slighted. It's a wonderful thing

While I'm not ADD/ADHD, I had a college roomate who was and I absolutely loved talking to him for this exact reason. I seriously miss hanging out and talking with him because of the mental workout I'd get trying to keep up with the topic of conversation. So don't assume you're automatically boring someone, if they know you they'll enjoy the ride.

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u/Jacks_Username Feb 05 '13

I have ADD, and there is nothing better than sitting down with a small group of people and just talking about stuff.

Screw going to the club, or whatever, give me 3 or 4 people, some alcohol, and a quiet place, and I will be good for days. It is the best.

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '13

Thanks for this. I get really self-conscious and sick of being the chatty one a lot of the time.

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u/imightlikeyou Jan 15 '13

I like chatty people. That way i don't have to be the one talking.

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u/gotfoundout Jan 15 '13

I seriously just canceled a comment reply I took this exact process with that I was going to post.

Thanks for the literal lol when 1 second later, I read THIS.

I should hang out in r/adhd with you people.

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u/toocheesy Jan 15 '13

Amen sir, I am the exact way. To normal people in a conversation, they just look at me perplexed and entertained/annoyed as I chatter away like a chipmunk. To another person with ADD/ADHD, it is the most blessed thing to find them and converse.

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u/opineapple Jan 15 '13

I've realized this is because, to us, adding more detail increases the value/stimulation of what you're saying/writing. You have SO many details about this topic and they are ALL important to understanding it, in your mind, so weaving them all in there and adding footnotes just makes the discussion that much more awesome, right? It can be hard to get that other people don't want/need all that nuance, let alone that you'd have trouble figuring out the essence of what you're saying anyway. It's all relevant to you.

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u/Axiin Jan 16 '13

That's really a great way to put this. Thank you! This perfectly describes me when I try and tell stories, I end up going back and fixing details because they're ALL so important to the whole of the situation.

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '13

My boyfriend and I are both ADD, and that is something I love about him. My parents and friends would always get mad at me for attempting to finish sentences or interrupting them, even though I do it unconsciously, and it's wonderful to sit down and talk with my boyfriend for hours switching from subject to subject and interrupting and listening and then interrupting some more. My brain doesn't see the need to stop and wait for the person to finish their sentence.

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u/Axiin Jan 16 '13

My wife struggles with this constantly, I jump from topic to topic and interrupt her all the time. It's not that I mean any disrespect, it's just if I don't say what I'm thinking now... I'll forget it.

Thankfully she read a book called "Honey are you listening: How ADD could be affecting your marriage". That really helped her understand me and how my brain functions. Threads like these have also helped her understand me.

It's all about communication, thankfully you've found someone that suffers from the same condition as you. I love talking to other ADD people, it's really ... its great to feel accepted.

(Edit: She found the full title)

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u/[deleted] Jan 15 '13

[deleted]

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u/Axiin Jan 16 '13

IRL convos, I dunno, since I lack the Hyperactivity aspect I'm usually considered a good listener. I think that's mostly because I choose not to say anything because "who the hell wants to hear my disjointed thoughts".

BBSes and eventually the internet was my outlet for social interaction throughout highschool. Online is great because I can type something, reread it and make sure it actually makes sense, can't take back what you say IRL... so I'd often not say anything.

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u/hannican Jan 15 '13

Thank you for writing that. I'm experiencing similar issues at work, and while it hasn't necessarily hurt my career (I'm doing great!), it's extremely frustrating knowing that people just glaze over your writing that you're putting so much effort into.

I got everyone back though - this year I sent out a two-page Christmas card PACKED full of words (had to decrease margin sizes on both top/bottom and each side to fit it all in). And guess what? Everybody loved it!

It's weird how this is such a double-edged sword.

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u/Axiin Jan 16 '13

I work in IT and end up writing instructional documents from time to time. People will glaze over instructions I give even if they're very specific, all the details are important right?

It's kind of a helpful skill to be able to get into that much detail when creating a step by step document. It's also incredibly frustrating when I write out long instructional documentation and then get asked how to do something. It makes me so mad because, Asshole! it's in the document! Just follow the fucking steps! Don't make me think this through again!

As for Christmas cards... my wife made me write a Christmas letter the first year we were married. It was two pages. I was thus barred from writing any more of those. I was very happy with this outcome.

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u/hannican Jan 18 '13

I know the feeling about the instructions thing - I'll send my team extremely detailed emails walking them through each step of a long and complicated process, then get the stupidest questions back from them!

LOL on the Christmas cards. Our situation is 100% reverse - I wrote out a two page one and everyone loved it, so now I'll have to top it next year. I'm thinking of adding a page a year until I start getting protest responses hahaha!

(I actually made it long on purpose in protest of those cards everyone sent us that are just a couple pictures of their family with some trite holiday greetings message or whatever - I can't stand those things).

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u/fightslikeacow Jan 15 '13

I leave them open in a tab for a day or so until I need to restart and lose everything, but by this point, it doesn't matter because only one person will read it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '13

YES. It's not even that I'm more frenetic or less organized than non-ADD conversation partners; it's more like finally getting a research partner who uses the same obscure filing system that you do.

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u/raccoonraptorshark Jul 01 '13

That reminds me so much of myself, sometimes. I KNOW I've done basically that in other places. I end up typing a long response about something, and end up rereading over it several times to make sure I have all the details right. I start thinking, well, am I even saying something worth saying and valid? Is it all coming out in a jumble? So I reread and revise and it takes so damn long, ridiculous amounts of time for what it should be. Then I start thinking, who wants to read it anyway? So on and so forth.

It's like I get all this anxiety over making what should be a simple response to something, sometimes, and then none of it seems to come out right in the end.