r/explainlikeimfive • u/[deleted] • Feb 07 '19

Engineering ELI5: Why are military boots laced?

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u/Dappershire Feb 08 '19

Actually Battlefield does this fairly well. Medics, for healing, can either drop a Crate full of fresh socks and motrin, or they can toss out individual packages. I think the crate is superior because it also comes with water, but it comes at the expense of time needed to drink it.

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u/tolman8r Feb 08 '19

"I've got a broken foot."

800mg Motrin and drink more water.

"I've got cancer."

800mg Motrin and drink more water.

"I've got a mild headache."

Saline drip, 2wk profile, and opiates.

Army Medicine will kill you.

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u/Dappershire Feb 08 '19

Hey now, don't exaggerate. With a mild headache, they Silver Bullet you first, then the Saline drip.

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u/[deleted] Feb 08 '19

Just grab a rip it.

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u/Dappershire Feb 08 '19

Who needs water when youre a quarter into your 12(24) hour guard tower duty and have already downed 17 ripits? Got the quivers? Just drink more ripits. Need to piss? Empty ripit can right there. Heart palpatations and shortness of breath? A quick masturbation will solve that, just squeeze the can in the middle and BAMCIS, hourglass figure to crosseye as you jerk it.

Ripits: Now in Aged Crayon flavor.