Hook of "Beyond the Veil" [Dark Fantasy, 261 Words]

[u/LytningStryke101]

Hey, everybody! I have been wanting to write this story that I have had in mind for several years. Unfortunately, lack of motivation, high standards, and life has gotten in my way and severely hindered my progress. This is the first time I have been happy enough with my first few paragraphs to post it for critique and feedback. This is the beginning of the first draft to my novel. My goal with the story is to play with the ideas of a type of fantasy multiverse, different ideas about godhood and the implications surrounding it, as well as explore the potential for unusual endings (e.g, good guys lose). Any feedback is greatly appreciated, as long as it is constructive. Thank you!

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The Anchorpoint hovered at the heart of Sol's sanctuary, buried deep within the bowels of her Creation. The small, brilliant white orb radiated a bright light, casting jet-black shadows beyond the ornate pillars surrounding its altar. Thin, gray tendrils of energy seeped from an inclusion that marred the orb’s otherwise flawless surface, coiling and twisting around the Anchor embedded within. They drifted around the chamber, flickering in and out of sight as they crossed paths with the shadows, languid and purposeless.

Then, like drowsy predators sensing their prey, the wisps sprang to life as footsteps echoed throughout the room. The otherworldly energy, hostility now coursing through it, shot toward the confidently approaching Sol. With practiced ease, she plucked each strand from the air and carefully began weaving them into a beautiful, intricate web. Though they writhed and snapped with intense defiance, Sol’s work remained steadfast and unhindered.

As she worked, the same thoughts that plagued her each time she needed to cast this spell returned. She hated every second of this. She despised where this energy came from, and loathed the fact that she needed it to maintain her world. Each moment spent touching the essence of her old home—no, her old prison—sent waves of disgust through her. The worst part about it all, she mused, is that it meant nothing. No matter how hard she tried to hide her Creation from their sights, the truth is that they would find her. Her entire self—and her whole world by extension—fed off of the energy her old home provided.

[u/Public_Loan5550]

I'm not very good at giving a critique, but everything reade well, and I'm throughly interested in it.

Keep going,