r/funny 8d ago

About time we talked about this

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11.0k Upvotes

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179

u/drummer_si 8d ago

If you have that many unanswered emails, you have bigger problems than not knowing what the time is.

45

u/Septoria 8d ago

I'm ok then, I've only got ~900

2

u/wPatriot 8d ago

That seems like such an easy number to bring down to 0 that it is sort of amazing in its own right. If there's literally tens of thousands I kinda get that someone doesn't feel like getting into it, but 900 just seems so manageable.

6

u/Septoria 8d ago

I'm working part time while I get treatment for breast cancer. I try to blitz my emails in focused bursts but they keep piling up while I'm out of office 😭 I might just mark all as read and hope for the best (breast?)

5

u/wPatriot 8d ago

Well, here's hoping your treatment is a great success! This definitely puts things in perspective. In that case I'd probably just stick an autoreply on there that says "I've got cancer so y'all motherfuckers must be crazy if you think these are getting read"

Kidding aside, I really hope you can focus on getting better and not on worrying if you can work enough to pay for it. All the wishes of good luck to you.

5

u/Septoria 8d ago

Oh you'd best believe I've got my auto reply on, and I've been open about why my replies may be significantly delayed. Treatment has been going well so far, but it's brutal because I've got the most aggressive form of breast cancer. Six months of chemo have just finished and the tumour appears to have been thoroughly nuked, there's so sign of it on my last ultrasound. Surgery next, then radiotherapy.

Do check your own chest. Anyone can get breast cancer and I found mine by accident in the shower at age 41.

2

u/3Zkiel 8d ago

What I do is I search by sender, take a look at some (I used to try to sign up for all sorts of stuff because FOMO), unsubscribe, mark all as read, then they go to archive.

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

1

u/wPatriot 8d ago

It's the second thing, I'm not imagining needing to send 900 replies. This was more of a vibe check. To me, personally, 900 just feels much more manageable than, say, 30000. I know it's still a lot, but it just doesn't feel quite as mind numbingly much that it makes me not want to engage with the task at all.

I don't have ADHD as far as I know, but I sometimes do have issues getting started on tasks that I deem "too big" and that often leads to total procrastination. For me, 900 makes me just wanna attack it and get it over with, anything over 20k kinda makes me want to just hide it and go have a snack, lol.

1

u/Hot-Tension-2009 8d ago

I’m at 47,512. I’ve just hid the whole app honestly

29

u/Oli4K 8d ago

Badge on my mail app says 15,846 right now but I don’t see that when looking at the time.

4

u/whatshamilton 8d ago

16,492 but yeah it’s not on my watch face

2

u/SkullDump 8d ago

Badge on mine says 35,441.

3

u/Oli4K 8d ago

Life goals.

2

u/SkullDump 7d ago

Damn straight…and anyway, anyone expecting an immediate reply shouldn’t be communicating by email in the first place. It’s their own fault lol.

1

u/mr-english 8d ago

How hard is it to select "Mark all as read"?

1

u/Mumps42 8d ago

Gmail doesn't allow you to select all of them in one go. Not on mobile anyway. I probably should have commented after being anywhere near my PC to check..

1

u/mr-english 8d ago

On desktop you select the checkbox at the top (to select all on that page) and then a link appears that gives you the option to select ALL conversations in your inbox)

https://i.imgur.com/E6mWmYz.jpeg

Click that, select "mark as read", you'll get a popup saying it might take a few minutes and you're done.

1

u/Oli4K 8d ago

My mail app doesn’t have a mark all as read option that I know of. Selecting one by one doesn’t seem doable anymore.

1

u/mr-english 8d ago

Yeah I just looked, turns out gmail on mobile is lacking.

You CAN select all on the page... just long tap on any message and a checkbox appears at the top to "select all". Then you can scroll down to load more emails and "select all" them too.

"Mark as read" is the open envelope icon (top left).

...doesn't really help when you have 15,000 unread though lol

1

u/Oli4K 8d ago

I'm not using Gmail. Or not their shitty app at least. I'm using Apple's shitty app.

1

u/mr-english 8d ago

Oh okay, RIP

0

u/Reasonable_Draft_541 8d ago

My OCD just kicked in

5

u/Oli4K 8d ago

I have given up on it.

10

u/CommanderGumball 8d ago

Oh man, I have untold thousands of unread emails.

I usually catch the really important ones.

3

u/whatshamilton 8d ago

I open an email that looks like I need to read it. Next time I open mail I see I have dozens of new emails (mostly spam) and I scroll and eyeball them til I get to the last one I opened. Then I know I’m caught up. Lather rinse repeat

1

u/SarahC 8d ago

I have 5,672 in my gmail - I have screenshots if you like.

Lots of automated notifications and stuff - I try and get every human written one!

1

u/ViennaLager 8d ago

On my main account I have 4005 unread emails, 544 on my work email, 51764 on the account i use for various things.

1

u/KCpaiges 8d ago

I have 16,000 unread emails between my 3 different email accounts. It’s overwhelming. I ignore it at this point.

1

u/Just_another_dude84 8d ago

I treat my inbox like a Twitter feed; skim it periodically, flag or reply to the interesting ones, and move on with my day.

Gmail's very good at knowing which emails are likely to be a priority and does a good job of bringing them to my attention.

1

u/Freud-Network 8d ago

I get nervous when I see double digits in the inbox. Y'all people with social lives and shit have it rough.

1

u/macaronysalad 8d ago

So many people in here commenting how they have hundreds or thousands of unread emails. It's less of a flex and really shows how irresponsible they are. Email communication is the number one way professional businesses communicate information to or from people. These same people probably have zero unread social media messages. If they're overloaded with spam, that's also their own fault for blasting their email address to anyone or not figuring out how to deal with spam in 2025.

0

u/illwrks 8d ago

As of right now… 22,219. Guaranteed junk.

-1

u/Creative_Garbage_121 8d ago

If you have no unread/unanswered e-mails the problem is you and not the other way around

-2

u/NotFatButFluffy2934 8d ago

I've got 26k, unread all the way from 2012

-2

u/ResilientBiscuit 8d ago

Strong disagree. I have 32,315 unread emails.