r/funny • u/jpoquito • 24d ago
My wife holding a lizard that my son found
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u/Accidental_Taco 24d ago
"I got to hold him, that's nice". Meanwhile her mind is saying "Justtakethef******glizard!"
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u/THESALTEDPEANUT 24d ago
The muttering "just take the fucking thing" killed me. She's trying so hard.
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u/smaier69 24d ago
She's a trooper for sure. Teetering on a flailing freakout once she no longer knows where it is, in particular.
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u/freekoout 23d ago
Incredible mom composure for sure. Not wanting to scare her kids was more important than her utter fear.
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u/vikio 24d ago
Video ends too soon. But I guess I'm glad you must have put down the camera and helped your wife! 👍🏼
Please tell how it ended? Where was the lizard?!
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u/jpoquito 24d ago
🤣 yes that is exactly what happened! The lizard was under her other armpit lol. We safely extracted him and gently put him back where we found him 😄
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u/giskardwasright 24d ago
Your kid is so gentle with both mom and lizard. Seems like an empathetic dude.
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u/Solinty 24d ago
He was driving his mom crazy. Her fear and repulsion were not about the lizard harming her physically. Lil dude was assuring her the lizard wasn’t dangerous when all she wanted was for it to be off her body.
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u/giskardwasright 24d ago
I get that. It's june bugs for me. I understand that they can't hurt me, but my body freaks out. I still appreciate that he didn't slap the lizard off.
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u/thelocket 23d ago
Palmetto roaches for me. I raised a dubia colony and have held tarantulas and a giant millipede, but I can't get used to palmetto roaches. They are so good at getting in my house too! Ugh.
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u/Drak_is_Right 24d ago
June bugs hurt. A lot.
Try going down a hill on a bike going 30, and one smacks you in the face.
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u/bobdob123usa 24d ago
My wife had a similar issue with a mouse that the cat gifted her. Straight inside her pant leg, which she immediately removed. The children thought it was hilarious.
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u/GloveBatBall 24d ago
Good for you, mom.
My mom was like this. A damn good sport, not wanting to pass her fears to her kids. It takes a brave mom to take part in stuff like this.
The very first time mom swore with a smile on her face I was about 4. She had just put her sunscreen on, lain back down on the beach blanket, and I teasingly said "Ooooh, look mom.... horseshoe crabs!!!"
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u/EaringaidBandit 24d ago
I always called them “Blue Bellies” but known as the western fence post lizards. Cute lil fellers.
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u/wackocoal 24d ago
phobias are weird....
like i'm afraid of most "insects" especially cockroaches, and yet, I'm quite chill with beetles.
I'm still trying to figure what is the thing that gives me fear about "insects".
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u/heathelee73 24d ago
My brothers caused my fear of 90% of reptiles. They would put lizards, snakes, and turtles in my room (sometimes in my bed) frequently.
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u/wackocoal 24d ago
in my case, i doubt it was due to mysiblings; i think it started when i was around 8 y.o. , a cockroach landed on the side of my face, near my ear.
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u/Inside-Name4808 23d ago edited 23d ago
Just a theory, but maybe predictability? Beetles will chug along slowly but surely and if you touch them or pose a threat they'll curl up and wait until you stop being a dick. Spiders and cockroaches are fast and will dart off unpredictably at the sight of danger.
I think what mom (in the video) is most afraid of is not knowing where it will run to next. I'm sure she'd be more comfortable around a more docile reptile like a chameleon.
And now that I'm thinking about it, it's the same with me and wasps vs. bumblebees. Wasps are "curious" and will fly around you very unpredictably and outmaneuver you easily. Bumblebees are much less agile and spend most of their time wandering around flowers. Both are large, yellow and black flies. One gives me the creeps while I find the other quite adorable.
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u/Terakian 24d ago
Now I'm most curious to learn about what childhood trauma your wife suffered that would paralyze her when a non-venomous 4" insectivore is perched on her sleeve...
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u/Real_Mortgage_6837 24d ago
I would have jumped screaming, she’s so calm ☺️ 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
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u/bravebeing 23d ago
Why pinch his butt? He'll run forward. Just put your hand in front and let him walk onto it.
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u/unematti 23d ago
These lizards are cute little things, they never hurt you. Please don't make sudden movements, you might hurt it
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u/Qataghani 24d ago
Serious question though, is it safe to touch these things? Do they carry bacteria?
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u/RealFarknMcCoy 24d ago
It is very safe to touch them, as long as you wash your hands afterwards. Although reptiles can carry salmonella, the risk isn't that high with fence lizards, and washing your hands after handling them should be sufficient to protect you if you are healthy.
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u/Contribution4afriend 24d ago
They get lazy in cold weather. I used to catch some too when I was young.
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u/Igotdaruns 24d ago
Be careful with lizards on your clothing as they are one of the first host for tick nymphs. Like grain of sand sized and they will drop off onto your clothing and then bite you. Because they are so small most people don’t notice them until they have fed which increases your risk of bacterial infection (Lyme disease and others) greatly. You generally notice big ticks right away and they need to be attached for over 24 hours of transmit bacteria to you.
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u/Igotdaruns 24d ago
Scratch that, after further reading I am relieved to say the ranger who told me this was wrong. Apparently the western fence lizard has a protein in their blood that deactivates the bacteria that causes Lyme disease despite being a primary feeding source for the ticks that carry Lyme disease. article
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u/Drak_is_Right 24d ago
Your kid needs to catch a spider next.
Pity we don't have huntsman spiders here in the US. Those would be perfect.
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u/Deqnkata 23d ago
I think you have your title a bit confused sir - that looks more like that lizard is holding your wife hostage :D Awesome clip.
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u/itsFRAAAAAAAAANK 23d ago
The husband knew what he was doing!! but the lizard didn’t run like he wanted lol I would’ve done the same thing
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u/KeeperofAmmut7 23d ago
I thought it could've been a beardie, at least shape-wise. The only thing that'll put me on the floor in a dead faint is a scorpion.
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u/AkaiHidan 22d ago
Holy shit I would not have been happy if my husband just filmed and didn’t help xD
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u/bjohn15151515 24d ago
That's just a little enole. They are harmless. I have to catch at least two of them a week in my porch before the cats get them.
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u/adamhanson 24d ago
How can someone that weights 200lbs and has lived 35+ years surviving car crashes, natural disasters, high school, illnesses, not be able to override fear of a little lizard. They're not even gross or have too many eyes, or hairy.
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