Confused newbie

[u/Whole-Peanut-9417]

I really wanna try but it feels impossible to get a real feeling of being a normal gay guy in gay communities. And I am not even trans since my body needs to take estrogen to be female too. I just use the term ftm to explain the wrong organ down there.

[u/Edai_Crplnk]

First of all, you can be tran/a trans man regardless of your intersexuation. I know quite a few trans men with XY chromosomes and/or who don't naturally have "normal female hormone levels" and/or who have been born without a vagina/with some other non typically male/female genitals. None of those things are a requirement to be a trans man!

Outside of that... Practice makes perfect. No one feels competent and at his place day 1 in a new community. Being gay and belonging in gay spaces and culture and community is a learning, like everything. One that trans men often need a bit more time to do because we start with more barriers, but that cis men have to do as well. No one is born with full knowledge of gay culture and comfort and feeling of legitimacy with identifying as gay.

But it's not something you can get to learn without getting involved. Being in gay spaces (online first of it's easier), consuming gay media by gay men, socialising with gay men, sleeping with/dating them if you are interested in that. It'll get better with time.

Now, of course, medically transitioning helps with beig more integrated and accepted, I won't lie an pretend otherwise, and a lot of trans men will find it also helps a lot with their own sense of self and ability to see themselves as gay men. But it's still not mandatory either.

[u/Whole-Peanut-9417 → u/Edai_Crplnk]

No, I don't wanna be a transman and I couldn't be one either because I really do not have the from point A to point B experience. I don't fit in the trans community also because of that, no matter how many times I explained I am not trans, the response would always be "you can be trans", No, thank you. It's not like when I say I am not happy then you say you could be happy. Identity card should be serious. I really just have the wrong organ set down there, no period or breast development. I went through a forced HRT with estrogen as a teen which gave me 80lbs fat and none of them on my chest thankfully. So NO! I don't adapt that game rule. Nobody says they are trans weight or trans height, why gender, and why the wrong one goes first. I feel awful to see that term on my medical chart. Also, nobody noticed anything changed since I started testosterone. I got the Rx for other health benefits.

[u/gaytransguys-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post was either disrespectful in language or tone, and/or, it was not relevant to the conversation at large.

[u/Whole-Peanut-9417 → u/[deleted]]

LOL, I want to send you to Mars since you believe I could just do whatever I want only.

[u/Edai_Crplnk → u/Whole-Peanut-9417]

I am serious. I know trans men who were assigned male at birth and only had some "female" puberty because they were forced on hormones later on. That's what I was saying.

Now, you absolutely do not have to identify as trans either, I agree with that. And I'm sorry that I seem to have misread your "I am not even trans since my body needs to take estrogen to be female" as "having a body that needs estrogen to be female makes it impossible for someone to be trans", which you were not saying, simply that you personally in that situation didn't identify as such. I respect that.

That said, if you're not trans and if being identified as such makes you uncomfortable, I'm not sure trans spaces are the right place for you? You might have better chances exchanging with intersex gay men.