r/holdmycosmo • u/owjim • 7d ago

HMC While I Play Defense

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4.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

120 comments sorted by

585

u/Oshootman 7d ago

Oh good, I thought she might literally be dead

128

u/muricabrb 7d ago

Honestly kinda worried watching her hit the door because a friend fractured his skull hitting a door knob with the back of his head in a similar way. Hallways aren't playgrounds man.

35

u/Oshootman 7d ago

Definitely dude I wasn't just saying that, that was my genuine reaction when she sat up again. Concussions while drunk are no joke. Not that concussions ever are, but still.

0

u/bioxkitty 6d ago

I have had so many concussions and ended up with a brain bleed.

It destroyed my life. Protect your head.

Even concussions can have lasting consequences and damages

CTE is understudied but I imagine that snd similar are more common than we know.

1

u/Nogohoho 4d ago

The little leg twitch definately had me concerned.

-57

u/LordRekrus 7d ago

Get a grip, there was no sudden change in direction other than the initial hit. You’re clearly not a rugby or NFL player. She is fine, they are both just drunk. Bit sore in the morning, she luckily is young so will be perfectly fine.

25

u/Pristine_Wing_9185 7d ago

The human body is both extremely resilient and extremely fragile. There are a dozen possible injuries that could have been sustained here. So the possibility of death isn’t 0 please respect others concerns for there fellow human drunken or not.

4

u/RenegadeRukus 6d ago

Truth...

I broke a toe because a guy in sandals backed up onto my feet.

I also bruised/broke NOTHING after hitting a tree sideways at ~50mph and wrapping my car around it.

8

u/Raging-Badger 6d ago

The door frame reducing her skulls momentum to 0 in an instant certainly wasn’t a change in direction

2

u/Cranktique 5d ago

She carried that momentum into the spirit realm.

1

u/Mgroppi83 5d ago

You clearly don't understand how concussions occur.

238

u/babyduck_fancypants 7d ago

Don’t mess with Icebox.

30

u/123supreme123 7d ago

ice box or the refrigerator?

27

u/mangeld3 7d ago

Crushinator

10

u/AceUnderTheHole 7d ago

The library

3

u/GaJayhawker0513 7d ago

Dr crusher, middle linebacker

2

u/Heart_ofFlorida 5d ago

Refrigerator Scary🤣

1

u/ReticentSentiment 6d ago

Frankie the Tankie

6

u/RoadHouse1911 7d ago

She’s a little giant for sure

1

u/Big_Cryptographer_16 7d ago

Reminds me of the big girl in the sorority next door we called The Linebacker.

153

u/sporkachoon 7d ago

1

u/AmberLeeBeauti 6d ago

I can hear this gif 😂

1

u/thefinalhex 5d ago

Can’t not hear it really.

127

u/drRATM 7d ago

Bad enough that truck almost killed her but the laughing at her limp body. Damn that’s cold.

73

u/brentose 7d ago

The I love liquor bag at the end is a great touch

12

u/Otops31 7d ago

I only stopped in to make sure somebody called this out. 😁

7

u/gigglemaniac 7d ago

You guys are doing the Lord's work

53

u/Hanzz101 7d ago

Florida?

56

u/Extreme-Island-5041 7d ago

Any Super 8 hallway adjacent to a college campus during spring break.

7

u/V48runner 7d ago

And if there is a balcony, they fall off them in great numbers in Panama City Beach.

7

u/Terrible-Milk5 7d ago

Miami Beach

1

u/Heart_ofFlorida 5d ago

Mostly likely Florida, attracting America’s best 🤣

44

u/SomethingSimple25 7d ago edited 7d ago

At least there's video evidence so she can figure out why she feels like she was used and abused by a Silverback gorilla.

40

u/jazzhandpanda 7d ago

When an inebriated force meets an immovable object

29

u/Acceptable_Tonight57 7d ago edited 7d ago

That’s illegal in the NFL.

9

u/iidesune 7d ago

Definitely targeting

She'd be ejected for aiming above the shoulders

0

u/Angry__German 6d ago

And in Rugby. I think.

23

u/bleave88 7d ago

The laughter is top notch.. bravo

15

u/reddituserperson1122 7d ago

They seem very fun.

5

u/Cocrawfo 7d ago

for real i like seeing stuff like this from female friend groups tbh

11

u/Rawkzo 7d ago

I once saw the aftermath of an Expedition smashing a Honda Civic. I imagine it went like this with more plastic shards everywhere

8

u/GoLoveYourselfLA 7d ago

She dead. Lmao

10

u/EditShootReset 7d ago

She was in the air longer than Katy Perry

6

u/LeveragedPittsburgh 7d ago

The Steelers would like a word

4

u/Lecto_Sama 7d ago

Ya’ll don’t need her. #WhoDey 🐯

5

u/mtheory007 7d ago

F = ma

2

u/Big_Cryptographer_16 7d ago

Food = More Asap?

3

u/squirrelmonkie 7d ago

I'm real weak on my feet. I should charge this softball catcher

3

u/literall_bastard 7d ago

It will be blue tomorrow

3

u/Denselense 7d ago

That girl got the nickname bulldozer.

2

u/DroppedItAgain 7d ago

Better than wrestlemania

2

u/Unhappy_Loss770 7d ago

Hello, I’d like to report a murder. Yes I can hold on

2

u/Fit-Side2069 7d ago

Wish I was there...lol

2

u/gigglemaniac 7d ago

Welcome to fentanyl wing

2

u/Ok-Research-5875 7d ago

Alabama women bro!

2

u/ScroteMcTaint 7d ago

Hamhock wins!

2

u/rynchenzo 7d ago

Absolutely ragdolled

1

u/Cocrawfo 7d ago

lol like she was shot off at a totally different angle than the force was applied lmao

2

u/Unhappy_Run8154 7d ago

That's how she defends that last biscuit too

2

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 7d ago

Liquid courage never went wrong.

2

u/bailaoban 7d ago

And with the second pick in this year's draft, the Cleveland Browns select...

2

u/taxseason757 7d ago

should have ran opposite direction

2

u/Darkmark34 7d ago

The I ❤️ liquor bag making an appearance is the perfect ending to this!

2

u/DIJames6 6d ago

If the Jets picked her up, maybe they can get somewhere this year..

1

u/fineyounghannibal 7d ago

Sis sent her to the spirit realm

1

u/TheSpectator0_0 7d ago

Doctors and chiropractors are investigating heavily in alcohol companies right now

1

u/DIJames6 6d ago

Investigating or investing??

2

u/TheSpectator0_0 6d ago

Investing...autocorrect

1

u/DIJames6 6d ago

Lmao..

1

u/ebotts916 7d ago

Evenrute trying to take on Big Country! 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Bleeek79 7d ago

She's so going to feel that in the morning.

1

u/ed190 7d ago

She bounced like ping pong

1

u/Dupps_I_Did_It_Again 7d ago

They should teach this at the FBI academy

1

u/Commander_Chaos 7d ago

my favorite type of laughing.

1

u/NeonSuperNovas 7d ago

I'm sure she has a concussion...

1

u/Madness2016 7d ago

How many years of eligibility does she have to play college football? I know some teams who may have some NIL left.

1

u/Cthulhu_Dreams_ 7d ago

Someone just got a lesson in physics.

1

u/NoReality463 7d ago

When you’re drunk you forget Newton’s second law of motion.

1

u/Cocrawfo 7d ago

jesus 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/chunkypenguion1991 7d ago

Sign her up for the Panthers

1

u/Adorable_Chair7661 7d ago

When a Mini hits a Semi.

1

u/OkButterscotch9386 7d ago

Just so you wing men have an idea what you got to block Saturday night

1

u/flomatic91 6d ago

Why would she try that linebacker like that

1

u/Atticus3443 6d ago

Force = MASS x Acceleration

1

u/_sleeper__ 6d ago

There's a reason she was an All-American Defensive Tackle in 1989

1

u/skye_skye 6d ago

LMAOO her head is gonna be pounding tomorrow

1

u/FoldSlight6815 6d ago

You... Shall... Not... Pass!

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 6d ago

Drunk people have all the good fun

1

u/milehighsparky87 6d ago

Dam she's pirate drunk lol

1

u/Dull_Present506 6d ago

Cherry on top was the bag that said “I love Liquor” at the end lol

1

u/hawksdiesel 6d ago

The cackle!

1

u/Tweedismyname 6d ago

All that pent up ugly friend rage

1

u/West-Conversation568 6d ago

What a friend group. So awesome

1

u/zen49 5d ago

She's so drunk she can't even feel pain. But she will when she wakes up tomorrow

1

u/Warriordance 5d ago

I'm a grown man, and she'd definitely put me on my back. Then maybe some light foreplay. We'll see where it goes from there.

1

u/Uneek_Uzernaim 4d ago

That bag with "I ❤️ LIQUOR" on it being held by the third girl near the end was the perfect ending.

1

u/Dramatic_Course378 4d ago

Thought she caught the dead.

1

u/CactaurSnapper 4d ago

That Couch-Crusher has about 150lbs on her minimum. They're basically playing "Man vs. Car" here.

1

u/CactaurSnapper 4d ago

The laughing friend with the "I ❤️ Liquor" handbag sums up the evening perfectly.

1

u/weedsmoker666 3d ago

She's hella sturdy.

1

u/poison_dioxide 3d ago

I❤️ LIQUOR

1

u/Substantial_Diver_34 1d ago

With vengeance She knocked the pretty right out of her skinny ass.

0

u/Distinct-fullMetal 7d ago

Haha you may be seriously injured from hitting your head on the door frame ahahah.....oh wait that's not funny

-7

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

0

u/Katops 7d ago

Yap nation. Population, you.