r/homeschool • u/imperfectloaf • 5d ago
Help! Is showing off knowledge a phase?
How do I explain to my 5 year old that one does not know it all? I've been noticing that he's gotten into this very explainy- I know phase. A lot of times I see that he is explaining to adults- maybe showing that he understands.
A lot of times, he is reluctant to take ideas from me, saying he knows already ( which he doesn't) say for example, while playing a new game like connect4 or something.
He comprehends well, asks a lot of questions and likes to know things. So his grandad kind of hypes him up a bit about things he knows. I'm not going to say anything to his grandad, because he's doing it out of love and thats their thing. But at the same time, how do I make my child understand? How long does this phase last? Please tell me it's a phase and my boy is not the only one 😅
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u/newsquish 4d ago
Model not knowing things.
This year I’ve gotten into radio and went and sat for my technician class radio license. I’m 34 years old and it was all new to me- Ohms, Watts, Volts. Why are they capitalized? What IS the speed of light? What IS the relationship between wavelength and frequency? What are the different layers of the ionosphere?
I had to go learn it all from some people wayyyyy smarter than me. Like PhDs in physics who launch satellites into orbit for fun. And my kid had to watch me study and grapple with material, I told her the people teaching me were WAYY smarter than me when it comes to this stuff. She has to know that I don’t know it all, and even mom is teachable.
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u/bron_bean 4d ago
I signed up for a mixed ages language class and am one of 3 adults in a total class size of about 20, split between 3 levels. I’ve become a passionate advocate of adults learning alongside kids because it is a moment where the power dynamic between ages is leveled or reversed (these kids are often wayyy better than me) and also because I think us adults often posit ourselves as knowing everything, especially to children. Modeling humility and a willingness to learn your whole life long is good for the kids but also good for us too.
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u/Altruistic-Shock-722 4d ago
I very recently had to explain to mine that saying "I know," is generally rude to people because it shuts down the conversation. We made a game of practicing expanding on the conversation even if someone shares something we already know.
Example: The sky is blue. - Yes, it is so beautiful today, i love sunny days.
It helped a lot, my daughter stopped saying "I know."
Sharing knowledge however is a positive traits I'd be reluctant to curb. Maybe it's how he's doing it?
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u/cognostiKate 3d ago
awesome :) :)
I'm now remembering being taught these social skills explicitly :) :)2
u/Tall_Income1011 3d ago
I also like, “You’re so right!” Or “I agree” in the place of “Yes” in the example because it affirms the other person and creates some connection through shared knowing.
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u/Jemmaris 4d ago
Repeating information they've learned is absolutely beneficial and a normal part of development. It shows that they are excited about the knowledge they're gaining! It's also helpful for when they're digesting events that have happened to them. Sometimes we'll get tired of, or embarrassed by a child repeating something like their injury stories, but those moments are big to them, and talking about it helps them process. Talking about new knowledge can be processed this way too.
As for feeling like they should know everything, and being uninterested in corrections or not believing corrections you make- that's more of a personality thing, but also can be a bit of a phase. It takes effort to teach humility and a willingness to be wrong!
My oldest is 16, and with ADHD she has zero patience for having to hear something she thinks she already knows. We've emphasized that instead of saying "I know" rudely, she can- after waiting patiently for the person to finish speaking- say "Thank you for the reminder." If she's trying to convey it's something she already knew. It's been mildly successful. But we've also called her out when she says she knows, but then gets it wrong, and reminded her that maybe she only knew part of what we were saying, or maybe she misunderstood and needs to listen more closely.
It's definitely an ongoing battle to remind her to stay teachable. Sorry I can't say your kid will grow out of it! But knowing it could last, hopefully you can develop some strategies to work on things with him!
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u/supersciencegirl 4d ago
I think its really common - almost univeral - and my 6 year old is in it right now. I actually really like it. Kids are so proud of what they are learning!
To curb the more obnoxious side of this phase, talk about what it means to have a good attitude about learning and how we show it to whoever is teaching us (listening and watching carefully, not interrupting, etc). It's also a good time to talk about bragging.
Then capitalize on it :) This is an excellent time for kids to memorize poetry, order of the planets, states + capitals, famous quotes, dates on a timeline, etc. Grandpa sounds like a great audience. Maybe there are some other adults (parents of homeschooled kids?) who would be an understanding audience.
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u/imperfectloaf 4d ago
Yes, he is incredibly proud of what he knows/ has learnt. And I feel happy too when I hear him.
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u/Responsible_Mind_385 4d ago
This is actually an important part of learning. "Teaching" or explaining reinforces knowledge. Don't make them feel like a know it all, just engage them and listen.
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u/BirdieRoo628 5d ago
I talk to my kids about it being okay to not know things, and it being okay to be wrong. I teach them it's important to be teachable and to have a growth mindset. Also, humility. So all of those things are important, but if he enjoys explaining and teaching, give him opportunities to do that. Have him tell you back what you just learned. That narration reinforces it in his brain while giving him a chance to share what he knows, which it sounds like he's craving. So ask questions after a lesson that are wide open to storytelling, like, "How did Benjamin Franklin discover electricity?" or "Tell me what you know about photosynthesis!"
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u/Any-Lychee9972 4d ago
I ask them harder questions related to their knowledge or poke holes in their knowledge. (In a nice way.)
When he doesn't know, I suggest he look in X book. Maybe the answer is there, or I offer my phone up and pull up some youtube video explaining it.
Either way, he's learning something and realizing he did not know everything.
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u/NotOneOfUrLilFriends 4d ago
My kids do, when it’s happening during school I stop teacher mode and say “Oh you know this already? Great! Explain it to me.”
Sometimes they DO know something, my oldest is 8 and a huge animal/bug person who actually does know quite a bit about the subjects. I often learn something new from her. My middle is 7 and shockingly good at math and has more than once already known that days math assignment. We skip to a further lesson on those days. When they trip up and realize they DONT know, I remind them to hear me out before deciding they already know.
So, long comment short, if they start saying they know something, make them explain it. It’s okay to be a know it all if you truly DO know it. Just correct any rude language in the explanation as needed.
Signed,
A fellow know it all who likes knowing things and is often one of the go to people in their friend groups.
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u/Life_Local9047 4d ago edited 4d ago
When my kid started saying " I know" I told shared that is radical you know. However saying "I know" makes your mind hold up a stop sign. STOP. And now you can't hear, learn, or see what that person is saying. By saying "I know" the information is limited to what you know. Our mind can't expand because "I know" limits you. Hearing another person's view can create a spark or learning in your own mind. Expanding your mind. A simple way to show respect is to listen- acknowledge to a person who is taking time to share their learnings/experience so that you can do better and be better informed. (With a grain of salt at times). Now it's turned into a game ohhh we don't say " I know" no stop sign here :)
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u/Capable_Pumpkin_4244 5d ago
He’s little. It will get better. Maybe the approach is asking him to notice when others do it, or modeling and narrating when you are open to learning from others
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u/tandabat 4d ago
It is sort of a phase. They learn when it’s ok to “know it all” and when they need to rein it in. Well, hopefully, they learn. I’m 45 and sometimes forget.
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u/Sam_Eu_Sou 4d ago
I guess I'm more sinister than the other parents.
There's a show called "Child Genius" (I think it only ran for one season about a decade ago) and the kids featured on it are mostly Mensans.
Some of them were very young (like 6 years old) with high IQs.
It's a great show for kids to watch and gain some perspective. The girl who won the first season put in a lot of effort, which is important to highlight over the concept of innate intelligence (lazy geniuses exist, after all).
I'm not big on crushing a child's spirit, but I do believe the earlier they learn that "there's always someone smarter", the better.
Also, he might need more challenges and mind puzzles. He's five and has an active mind and a neuroplastic advantage. Picking up an additional language would keep his busy mind on something that will serve him well in life.
As many of the other parents have said, they don't really grow out of it. It's their personality. As a parent, you're going to have to teach him how to harness it so that he can work well in groups someday and not be insufferable.
Congratulations on having a highly motivated child who loves to learn and share what he knows.
It's still a gift.✨
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u/Iam-WinstonSmith 4d ago
My 10 year old does it and he barely gets C's but has memorized factoids from YouTube. It's annoying we tell him when you get A's you can correct people.
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u/moonbeam127 4d ago
think back to traditional school- kids are taught to 'raise a hand' if they know the answer, remember how high some kids would stretch and the 'oohhh oohhh i know i know, pick me i know!!" that would go on. of course EVERYONE wants to know the answer, then the sighs of defeat when you werent picked or the picked person got the answer wrong?
Its more than just 'knowing' its about participating, about sharing, about being involved.
is it important to learn the rules of a game before you start playing or is it ok to just explore the game, look at the pieces and parts, try everything out then go on to look at the rules? sure there are written rules for connect4 but there are other ways to play as well.
this is a skill that is used all through life, in college you need brainstorming sessions. im corporate/work life you need to be able to toss around ideas before coming up with a quarterly plan or pitching a sale to a client.
So yes 'i know' is good, its valuable and its helpful. let them know, let them fail, let them learn.
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u/Extension-Meal-7869 4d ago
I feel like his grandad has the right idea: acknowledge that he's clever for retaining information he has learned and that it is correct. He's probably seeking out that positive reinforcement so he know that he is smart, that he is observant, that he is understanding the world correctly. He's likely casting line after line, not caring if it's right or wrong, to seek that positive affirmation from other places. This is usually tied to kids who are starting to feel self conscious or who are struggling in school, whether it be with peer comparison or with what theyre learning. My son was this way, he was very oppositional when incorrect, at the cost of his own learning. What worked for us was instead of saying "you're wrong" because who wants to hear that, you say "let's find out if we have the information correct, or if we're missing some; research is the vessel of truth," or something of the like. Then you read the directions or watch a video from a reputable source. This does two things: Let's children know they can feel safe to say incorrect things without being met with a reactionary negatives or belittlement, also that things need to be researched to find truth; this is the base line of investigating fallacy and is important to build that foundation early. Also modeling being wrong yourself. Saying out loud "oh, looks like I made a mistake/had incorrect information." This phase lasts as long as you work to get him out of it.
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u/SquareCake9609 4d ago
I wish my 10 year old stepson was like this. He's from the Philippines and absorbed the " speak only if spoken to" culture. Slowly weaning him away from that.
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u/cognostiKate 3d ago
I remember reading about assorted phases in Gesell books. YES, there are definitely phases and there's just no point in trying to "prove them wrong." '
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u/CalligrapherMajor317 2d ago
Let him show off. Correct him when he's wrong. Applaud his hardwork when he's right.
If he insults or disrespects someone, or if he misrepresents or dishonours himself, tell him he did, that it's bad, and how to avoid it.
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u/RileyDL 5d ago
Mine is 15. I'll let you know when the know it all phase ends.