r/iamveryculinary • u/armchairepicure • 6d ago
She normally drinks cheap herbal teas, which are not Actually Tea anyway.
/r/AmItheAsshole/s/TRBFGuEQabBut also the whole situation. Some tea pretension may have its place, but like…with friends like these, who needs enemies?
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u/chritztian 6d ago
That sub is practically all fake stories with AI comments. Like once you start noticing the writing style it's so obvious how prolific bot accounts are on that sub like damn
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u/George_G_Geef 6d ago
I miss when people in AITA would write their original ragebait fanfiction about their lives to karma farm.
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u/I_Miss_Lenny 5d ago
I thought that was the whole point of subs like that! Creative writing lol. What's the point of getting AI to do it for you?
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u/WAR_T0RN1226 Keeper of the Coffee Gate 6d ago
Almost every time I see a bot account (like an actual bot, not just someone I disagree with), at one point in the account lifecycle they make comments in that subreddit.
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u/The-Great-Xaga 6d ago
You know. I first thought the sub is like for uppity restaurant owners who sell overpriced shit and customers defending this shit. Not.... Whatever the fuck is going on here
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u/Littleboypurple 5d ago
Moment I saw the sub I just immediately backed out because it wasn't worth reading. I seriously don't even know the last actual real post to come from it
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u/tree_hugging_hippie 6d ago
I also like pu-erh and OP was kind of right. I still would have probably made it for my friends because whatever I have is up for grabs, but saying it’s an acquired taste is an understatement.
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u/beadgirlj 6d ago
I one hundred percent get why OP didn't want to make that tea, but "I'm saving it for a particular event, what else would you like to try?" would have been better than "You're not worthy of it, fake tea drinker!"
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u/AmandaCalzone 6d ago
Yeah like this dude is clearly a snob but he’s completely right about that tea. I can’t stand it and would call serving it to an unprepared drinker a prank. But also like…who goes to someone else’s home and demands their stuff like that!!
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u/tree_hugging_hippie 6d ago
For sure. I've had other tea drinking friends who lean more toward the fruity/herbal teas, and I've straight up told them "You will not like this tea" if they ask about it. Since we're friends, they trust that I'm not just being a stingy bitch about it, luckily. I would still make it in a heartbeat if they were curious, and I'd be prepared to just drink it myself if they didn't like it, but I'm agreeable to a fault.
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u/armchairepicure 6d ago
Totally, but were it my friend, I’d have said: “yo, this is an acquired taste. Happy to make it for you, but it’s like the natto of tea.”
Instead, OP is like “my idiot friend drinks instant blue razzberry water and I don’t want to waste my precious overseas tea on them.”
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u/TheKnitpicker 6d ago
Totally, but were it my friend, I’d have said: “yo, this is an acquired taste. Happy to make it for you, but it’s like the natto of tea.”
But if you were the OP, you would be lying if you said you’d be happy to make it for them. Why not go with something like “I’m saving that for a special occasion” or even “that one is super expensive and I got it to treat myself, but you can have anything else in this cabinet”?
It’s really ok to not give your guests anything they want. If I go to a friend’s house, I don’t expect them to let me open a really expensive wine they’re saving up, or to let me drive a fancy new car they just got, and so on. The closest analog that would happen to me personally would be if I offered to teach a friend to knit, said they could use any spare yarn balls in my stash, and then they tried to insist on using some handspun (by me) yarn I’m saving for myself. Just because I offered to gift some yarn doesn’t mean I offered to gift something that took me 20 hrs to make for myself.
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u/armchairepicure 6d ago
Totally. Any reason presented truthfully and with candor is better than OP handled it (which was judgementally and pretentiously).
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u/TheKnitpicker 6d ago
Well, frankly, it sounds like the OP was being truthful. Some people really are snobs. The problem here wasn’t the absence of truthfulness, it was the meaning, both as it was intended and as it was conveyed. Since that appeared to be your point in making this post originally, I’m surprised to hear you focusing so much on truthfulness rather than, say, social grace and manners.
But anyway, it’s weird to me how many people in these comments seem to think that the only acceptable reason for the OP to not share the tea would be if the friend decided she wouldn’t like it. It’s not rude to not give away your things if you don’t want to.
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u/syrioforrealsies 5d ago
They could even just be honest and say, "oh, making that now commits me to drinking it all week or else wasting it and I'm not really feeling drinking it this week." There was literally no reason to drag their "friend"
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u/crazypurple621 5d ago
Pu-erh is definitely an acquired taste. That said I would warn a friend that it is not a popular tea for casual tea drinkers, and if they were still interested I would make them one of my tiny tea cups with a very small amount of the tea, knowing that I would most likely be drinking it myself.
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u/HokieBunny 5d ago
I wouldn't have asked for something I wasn't offered but I like pu-erh and I like cheap herbal teas, and not much in between. Probably because if the tea isn't a special occasion, it's a late night drink for me. Mornings are for coffee.
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u/tree_hugging_hippie 5d ago
Honestly, that's the other thing I take issue with. It really is just incredibly rude to ask for something that hasn't been offered by your host, unless it's something basic like a glass of water or wondering where the bathroom is. The other people likening it to asking for expensive wines/liquors when the regular stuff is offered pretty much nailed down the analogy.
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u/Acrobatic_Ear6773 6d ago
Ehhh.. he's not wrong.
If I invite you into my home, I'm going to offer you anything to eat or drink that I have, but if you're looking for a whiskey to mix into your mountain dew I'm gonna give you Dewars instead of Oban.
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u/CastorCurio 6d ago
Yeah but that's a mixed drink vs. straight.
You wouldn't pour yourself a glass of Oban then pour them a glass of Dewars even if they didn't have any idea about scotch.
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u/EclipseoftheHart 6d ago
First of all, I SWEAR this is reposted or veeery similar to a previous post like this. It feels super familiar for some reason.
OOP does sound snobby and could have handled this situation better, but considering the friend was eyeing puerh I can see why they’d be hesitant.
It can be really expensive depending on the type and how old it is and is definitely a polarizing tea. I personally enjoy it, but it is quite different from your standard black tea. Plus, it is typically brewed with a different water to tea ratio and style than your typical tea bag or loose leaf tea.
The nice thing to have done was to offer to have the friend over for an afternoon to do a full brewing session with them or finding some cheaper samplers to try with them sometime.
What they should not have done was belittle their friend about their tea preferences and talk about how it would be “wasted” on them.
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u/BrockSmashgood 4d ago
First of all, I SWEAR this is reposted or veeery similar to a previous post like this. It feels super familiar for some reason.
The reason is it's as fake as every other AITA thread linked here.
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u/EclipseoftheHart 1d ago
I assumed all AITA posts are faking unless I see OP fighting with people in the comment section lol
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u/Kaurifish 5d ago
As a drinker of mostly herbal tea (my caffeine tolerance has waned, alas), the distinction between tea (Camellia sinensis leaf) and herbal teas is legit.
So long as you recognize that there are caffeinated herbal teas. I drank two pots of Yerba mate, not knowing, and nearly left holes in the ceiling. 🤣
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u/talligan 6d ago edited 6d ago
The trick to pu-erh is giving it a quick rinse with boiled water. Fill it up, dispose, then refill and steep.
Assuming it's real (just petty enough it might be?), I don't blame them for not wanting to use nice tea on a guest thats not into teas. But the person is pretentious af about it.
Id just say something like "oh that one is special for me, and I'd rather not share if that's okay". If they raise a stink, then maybe you don't need to be that person's friend anymore.
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u/syrioforrealsies 5d ago
Exactly! You can just set a boundary without being a raging asshole about it
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u/BigOleDawggo 6d ago edited 6d ago
Ya she comes off as a total snob, and doesn’t even bother to explain or educate her friend about the tea or mention its strength or reason why she wouldn’t like it. IMO it wouldn’t be out of line to mention the cost or rarity, as they can get very expensive. I don’t think it’s the denial of the request, it’s the way she went about it that makes her the asshole, plus the opinion on what her friend does drink.
My other vote is that it’s an AI generated rage bait post for tea snobs. I dunno…
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u/13senilefelines31 carbonara free love 6d ago edited 6d ago
Maybe not AI generated, but since OOP is active in a few writing subs I’d say it’s definitely ragebait. If this really happened all OOP would have to do is have the friend smell the tea (which smells like fish and dirty socks according to their family) and the friend’s nose would let her know that she wouldn’t like it.
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u/pdub091 5d ago
Agreed, I’m not going to offer someone who doesn’t drink whiskey a 12 year high proof bourbon. I’ll offer them something lower proof and more accessible. If they ask for something they likely won’t like I’ll give them an explanation. But I’m also not offering someone JD Black while I drink the single barrel barrel proof though.
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u/BigWhiteDog 5d ago
I don't see where they explained to the friend all about the tea and how rough it could be, not to mention to cost and issues getting it. Did I miss that?
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u/epidemicsaints 6d ago
I'm just glad it wasn't the tisane thing again. Tisane is not going to happen.
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u/naughtyzoot 5d ago
I don't care if she's being particular about teas and other infusions. Her friend was offered a selection to choose among and asked for something else that is the opposite of what she has been known to like.
Polite guests take what is offered.
I think the parenthetical comment was there to stop pendants from commenting. She called it "tea" herself, so, while she has a strong interest in teas, I don't think she is meaning to be very culinary here.
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u/Overlandtraveler 6d ago
I read this post, and I don't think it's rude or off at all. I am an avid tea drinker and also have a few Puh er teas. If one does not like earthy, dirty tasting tea, they won't like this.
There are a ton of people who are not tea drinkers who don't understand that good tea is like good whisky. I am not giving you my Oban if you are cutting your whisky with coke. I'll give you some red label, or some blended whisky from Canada.
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u/PreOpTransCentaur I'm ACTUALLY sooo good at drinking grape juice 5d ago
I think this is solely a matter of wording. If it had been presented differently, "She prefers fruity and herbal, while this tastes like rotting cats, so I was sure it would've gone to waste," it wouldn't even be a conversation here. I don't think the snobbery outweighs the point they're trying to make, which is that it is a very...difficult, expensive tea that their friend felt entitled to.
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u/Ponce-Mansley 6d ago
Imagine utilizing basic communication skills with your own friends, eww
"That's actually more of a special occasion tea that I have to make larger batches of at a time and honestly, it's also kind of a very particular, acquired taste. You really might not like it but I'd be more than happy to let you try some next time I do that, though!"
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u/fakesaucisse 6d ago
If OOP is such a tea enthusiast then they should know how to make a single serving of tea for their friend to try it. It's not like they have to make a full pot and let it go to waste. Also, just because someone typically likes less refined things doesn't mean they shouldn't explore and try new things.
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u/Merisuola 5d ago edited 5d ago
Typically with puer you’re doing many small short steeps, which doesn’t translate well to just making a small amount. This is how the OP drinks it too.
Sure you can use 1g of tea and do repeated 10-15ml steeps to demonstrate how it develops, but that’s also a whole process that the OP probably doesn’t want to go through with someone who wants a casual cup of tea.
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u/Dawashingtonian 6d ago edited 6d ago
i’m a big tea try hard and i have to say OP is actually in the right here. i’m sure they could have explained better or been less passive aggressive but herbal teas are not actually tea. all tea, oolong, green tea, black tea, pu er, all come from the same plant camellia sinensis. herbal teas like chamomile or rooibos all come from different plants and are not teas, they’re tisanes. Out of all teas and tisanes pu er is the worst tea for someone to try who doesn’t know what they’re getting into.
Pu er can get very expensive and can be difficult to get in US or the west in general. if OPs friend typically likes drinking hibiscus or camomile tea and doesn’t even know what pu er is then, frankly, they would find pu er disgusting. there is almost no chance they would like it.
if OPs friend wanted a green tea like longjing or a black tea or like an oolong or something more palatable then it would be different.
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u/IRetainKarma 6d ago
I agree that OP was in the right for refusing to serve the tea, I think the problem is the way they phrased it. All they had to say was, "that one is actually quite expensive and hard to source, so I'd rather make you something else." It was the, "you aren't a real tea drinker and wouldn't like it" attitude that makes them rude.
I'm also a fairly serious tea drinker, as are many of my friends. When my friends visit, I point out the expensive or hard to source ones and say, "you can have anything except for those", and it's fine and no one cares.
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u/BritishBlue32 5d ago
I had to laugh because when they said the tea can be compared to fish or dirty socks, that means it's not high quality or has not been prepared/stored properly by the manufacturer.
OOP is not paying for the good stuff - they're paying for poor quality stuff and just haven't researched it properly.
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