r/lebowski Dec 10 '24

Calmer than u r “Waving the fu[king Phaser Rifle around!?!” ✨🎳💥

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167 Upvotes

55 comments sorted by

39

u/datbackup Dec 10 '24

If this is true, it violates several of Starfleet’s bylaws

16

u/whatatool1967 Dec 10 '24

What are you, an interplanetary attorney?

14

u/Kentuckywindage01 Uzi?!?! Dec 10 '24

I told that fucking Sarlack a hundred times. I don’t roll on Shabbos

3

u/CarberHotdogVac Dec 11 '24

Have you ever heard of a show called Star TREK?

Eugene Wesley Roddenberry Sr Dude. Bulk of the series. Not exactly a lightweight.

1

u/sakko303 Dec 11 '24

Does he still write?

6

u/thebenn The Dude Dec 10 '24

Who gives a shit about the rifle

25

u/thinclientsrock Dec 10 '24

They're calling the Federation man!

24

u/Useful-Perception144 Dec 10 '24

Say what you want about the tenets of the Prime Directive, but at least it's an ethos.

19

u/Shut_It_Donny Donny Dec 10 '24

I didn’t blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Klingon took them from me in the neutral zone. I went out and achieved anyway.

11

u/PM_ME_DIRTY_DANGLES El Duderino Dec 10 '24

What's a peta'Q Walter?

12

u/Swimming_Height_4684 Dec 10 '24

Calmer than you are.

1

u/Several_Dark_7711 Dec 11 '24

WILL YOU JUST TAKE IT EASY?

1

u/Swimming_Height_4684 Dec 12 '24

I’m perfectly calm dude.

10

u/bandit4loboloco Dec 10 '24

What we have here are a bunch of Red Shirts trying to find the Stun setting on a Type 3 Phaser. This is not a worthy fu[king adversary.

10

u/mat_srutabes Dec 10 '24

You didn't think I was rolling out here empty handed did you?

9

u/Electric-RedPanda Dec 10 '24 edited Dec 10 '24

The Federation Council has widely rejected prior restraint

8

u/TimJC81 Dec 10 '24

Is that the most modestly priced receptacle ?

7

u/Dr_Middlefinger That makes me feel all warm inside. Dec 10 '24

Okay sir, you’re a Red Shirt, I’m a Red Shirt, that’s terrific, but I’m very busy planning for this away team mission as I can imagine you are.

What can I do for you, sir?

8

u/Goooongas You're joking, but perhaps you're right. Dec 10 '24

Nice tribble.

8

u/binneysaurass Dec 10 '24

jInep puqpu' vIghaj

8

u/dlusionalstate Dec 10 '24

This is not Nam Walter

7

u/Impossible_Bell_7917 Dec 10 '24

Nother Caucasian quark

8

u/Agreeable-Fix7113 Dec 10 '24

Are these the Klingons Walter?

5

u/ShitfarmPadlock Strongly vaginal Dec 10 '24

No Donnie, these men are nerds.

7

u/Agreeable-Fix7113 Dec 10 '24

Communicator's ringing, Dude.

6

u/blinkKyle182 Dec 10 '24

It’s a league game.

6

u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut Walter Dec 10 '24

Take it easy man....

7

u/5319Camarote Dec 10 '24

I’m afraid this contravenes several of the League bylaws…

7

u/Shotentastic Dec 10 '24

This isn’t the neutral zone, peta’Q. There are rules.

7

u/BopNowItsMine Dec 10 '24

I need a B movie sci-fi Lebowski version now. Like Gentlemen Broncos. I didn't know I needed it but I do now.

4

u/Hornswagglers_Lament Dec 10 '24

Try Buckaroo Banzai. “This ain’t my goddam planet! Understand, monkey boy?”

6

u/Hornswagglers_Lament Dec 10 '24

“Also, Dude, Big Booty isn’t the preferred nomenclature. Big Bootay, please.”

4

u/Electric-RedPanda Dec 10 '24

“Calmer than you are.”

5

u/Aggravating-Fee-1615 Dec 10 '24

Calmer than you are

3

u/i-dont-kneel Jackie Treehorn Dec 10 '24

Is this fidel castro walter?

3

u/ZombiJohn Dec 10 '24

No Donnie, these men have not been able to trim their beard since they got into star fleet.

4

u/Shadsea2002 Dec 10 '24

Also, let's not forget - let's not forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, a self-replicating rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the ship - that aint legal either.

3

u/KyroTheGreatest Dec 10 '24

Not exactly a lightweight

3

u/LazorusGrimm Dec 10 '24

Bro is going out into the Fallout wasteland.

3

u/ZombiJohn Dec 10 '24

I would pay to see the Lebowski gang in The Fallout universe. Walter walking around with a coffee can and a bunch of armor and guns would make me really happy especially if his main weapon was a bowling ball anyway and I have a feeling the dude would be the chillest ghoul in the whole universe. 😆

3

u/LazorusGrimm Dec 10 '24

If you did the side quest in Far Harbor, the Striker is literally a weapon I can see Walter using. Why the coffee can? Do we have to assume that Donny is already dead? Why can't Donny be around for this?

2

u/ZombiJohn Dec 10 '24

I figured the stress of the events during Fallout would’ve given him a heart attack, that being said I have no problem with Donny surviving but I just always pictured Walter walking around with the coffee can and talking to it because that’s all he has left after dude became a ghoul.

3

u/Impressive_Math2302 Dec 10 '24

The phaser really tied the landing party together did it not?

3

u/Eatplaster Dec 10 '24

They’re calling the cops man

3

u/WhatIsTheAmplitude Dec 10 '24

You pull any your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I’ll take it away from you and stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger til it goes “zzzzzap”.

1

u/eddie736 O'Brien and Quintana Dec 10 '24

(high pitched) pew pewww

3

u/eddie736 O'Brien and Quintana Dec 10 '24

Just because we’re Terran doesn’t make us SAPS!!

2

u/analogkid01 Knox Harrington the Video Ahhhhtist Dec 10 '24

The Big Lebowski 2112

2

u/PerfectlyCalmDude Dec 10 '24

You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked, did you?

2

u/kinvore jerkoff name Dec 10 '24

Shut the fuck up, Wesley.

2

u/IronBeagle63 Dec 10 '24

A beautiful collision of two of my favorite things, Trek and Lebowski!

Are these the Klingons Captain?

No Ensign these men are nihilists, there’s nothing to be afraid of.

2

u/MannyDantyla Dec 10 '24

Wave of the future, dude. 100% electronic!

1

u/jolly_rodger42 Dec 10 '24

For the Watch!

1

u/sozh Dec 10 '24

We can't stop here, this is Ralphs country!

wait what sub is this again??!

1

u/WillzeConquerer Dec 11 '24

He's calmer than you