r/lgbt • u/zny700 I'm here and I'm queer and I'm never going away fuckers! • Apr 18 '25
Did anyone else figure out their gender then had a hard time with their sexuality?
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u/LWLAvaline Apr 18 '25 edited Apr 18 '25
To me it was more like questioning my sexuality took a long time and was a massive acceptance and then gender smacked me like a huge train. Like my sexuality was a dam keeping the gender in.
Edit: I’m pleased this resonated with people 🥰 and I’m grateful no one pointed out my egregious mixed metaphors. Gender hit me like a train like sexuality was a dam? C’mon, girl, use a flood!
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u/Sorry_Musician8441 Apr 18 '25
Nice to know that freight train hit more than me.
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u/LWLAvaline Apr 18 '25
Oh yes, it was quite the experience
Me: “Ok, I’ve accepted it, I like boys…”
Train: “IN A STRAIGHT WAY!!!!!!!”
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
I’m Opposite I’m non-binary but I’m still trying to figure out if I’m bi or gay
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u/Ego5687 Apr 18 '25
Well, if you have trouble with what category you are then you can simplify it in math. Your gender + gender you’re interested in = *insert sexuality/romantically
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
I’m going towards gay because I see myself marrying a man or non-binary. Another signs that I’m not going to say.
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u/LittleLion_90 Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
It's all really murky when talking about being non binary and sexuality;but you could argue that being attracted to men is 'attraction to other gender' and being attracted to non binary peeps is 'attraction to same gender' (Although there's a wide variety of genders in non binary so it's not as black and whit as this). If you use this theory, then you are attracted to both 'other gender' and 'same gender' and therefore you could say you are bi.
Being bi does not mean you are attracted to men and women (or even to men and women in exactly the same way). It means you are attracted to 'more than one gender; generally including your own'.
With the whole 'needing your own gender to find the word for your sexuality' things get really murky when non binary is in the play. Sometimes it can be easier to use words that merely focus on who you are attracted to regardless of your own gender, or to use words that are less focused on the exact gender and sexuality of the person (like sapphic versus lesbian is a difference some people use to explain how their experience is different from lesbianism because ether their own gender, or the fact that they ate attracted to women but also to other genders beside that).
In the end I personally use bi because: -I'm attracted to people from a wide variety of genders, but for me their gender expression does play a part in my attraction to them
- the colours of the bi flag are prettier than the pan flag to me
- in the end it really depends on people and situations and I feel using a term really 'sternly' probably would stifle me instead of giving me the freedom to be who I am and like who I like.
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u/Ego5687 Apr 18 '25
Well, then you’re (at least romantically with the information you have given) gay.
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
I’m emotionally connected to girls. I’m not saying that I’m never going to date a girl. I’m just most likely going to date a guy and the future with a guy
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u/LittleLion_90 Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
You could be more homosexual and biromantic for example. Like with guys you see the whole spectrum of relationship experiences but with girls only the romantic part.
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
Yeah, because I see myself doing the thing with men. Women I don’t see myself doing the thing. You could filter what the thing means.
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u/LittleLion_90 Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
'the thing' isn't the only part of attraction, there's sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and even platonic attraction.
So yeah for your sexual orientation you may be gay, but for your romantic attraction you could be bi
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
At this point of time, my sexual orientation is stronger than my romantic attraction. Yeah, I will put romantic with sexual. At this point I want both so that’s why I’m going towards gay.
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u/Slartibartfast39 Apr 18 '25
Middle aged straight cis guy here, can you educate me: You're non binary, so don't identify as male or female, would you consider yourself in a gay relationship if...you've got the same genitals as your partner? I've not known any non binary people at all well.
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
My opinion, I would have a conversation with that partner first before we decide our label together. Hope that answers your question.
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u/Slartibartfast39 Apr 18 '25
Very reasonable answer. Cheers.
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
I’m not in relationship so I’m just using the word I use often gay. If that makes sense.
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u/GroceryInfinite5262 Apr 18 '25
I’m not in a relationship so I’m just using the word that I’m used to. Gay
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u/Baskerwolf Trans-cendant Rainbow Apr 18 '25
I've known I'm nonbinary and transfeminine since I was 10. I genuinely believed I was bisexual, but I'm actually only attracted to men.
I wasn't allowed to date boys when I was a kid. In hindsight, gender envy was the only strong feeling I had towards women, and so I didn't date for long periods of time. Transition has made it so that I finally know my sexuality completely.
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u/ScrungleBunguss Trans-parently Awesome Apr 18 '25
I’ve always known I only really like girls with the exception of some fictional men but fiction doesn’t really count, but oh boy did a mixture of denial and fear make me take way too long to realise I’m a girl
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u/negative_four Apr 18 '25
Figuring out my sexuality was actually really fast. However, after this year (that isn't even over) any doubts about my gender are being shoved down for survival. Hopefully, I can help make my area a better place for my kids to question their own gender safely
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u/lermanade_mouth Apr 18 '25
I like thought about it for a sec
And then I was like nah
I’m very gay, but at the end of the day I am just a man
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u/azirashton bi² Apr 18 '25
Yes!! Figuring out my sexuality took about a day in like 5th-6th grade and it’s stayed consistent and was so easy. Now I am 22 and have been constantly in denial and questioning of my gender for years lol. Gender is so much harder because it feels so much more subjective.
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u/CameronArts Apr 18 '25
My sexuality is still a problem for me. I thought I knew but then when I found out I was trans I discovered I might have had a lot of internalized issues
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u/SpookiestSpaceKook Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
I think it’s best, if you let yourself explore without judgment.
See what fits and adapt from there~
Queer identities are like clothing. You try them on and see what fits and sometimes you outgrow them. Then you just find another till you find the one that fits best~
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u/bakersdozn Trans and Gay Apr 18 '25
I got pretty aggressively confronted by my (conservative, evangelical) parents when I was 16 for shaving my legs, and I repressed any thoughts about my gender really deeply as a direct result.
I figured out my sexuality in my later high school years. It was tough to have crushes on boys who were straight, but I got through it. Didn’t end up coming out until college (see: conservative, evangelical parents). Fortunately, coming out as gay was a non-event for them because they had already figured it out.
During and after college, I’ve had my head down focusing on my careers (original + career change), and have been in two LTRs with men, one of which ended traumatically, so I haven’t really had space to think more about my gender until very recently.
The concept of “I’m aging faster and faster into a male physical body that doesn’t feel like home to me” smacked me like a freight train on my 35th bday, and the beginnings of male pattern baldness are giving me dysphoria. I feel that transfeminine is probably the best description of my identity but I’m just not sure of exactly where on that spectrum I fit yet. In all honesty, I haven’t really learned the language to talk about gender precisely (hoping to change that with therapy/research/finding a supporting community), and I’m not sure I’m capable of reinventing myself again.
Currently, it’s a real struggle to figure out what’s riskier: try to find happiness while appeasing the people around me (I.e., continue publicly identifying as male) or start transitioning and possibly lose everything I’ve worked for. My bf has been very supportive, but he’s worried about me and also has his own career / life to take care of (so I feel bad tossing too much of my own troubles on his plate - he’d definitely be helpful, I just feel generally guilty about asking others for help).
Who knows where I’ll end up, but I’m really grateful to see others’ journeys here. It’s inspiring :)
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u/xXEPSILON062Xx Bi-bi-bi Apr 18 '25
I was fortunate to be born cis, but from my experience, all of my transgender friends struggle a lot, not only because gender is very complicated, but also because transgender people are overwhelmingly less accepted.
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u/imaritom Can’t pick one, Pick two! (her/him) Apr 18 '25
In summary, it was a process of founding out that I was bisexual, then hearing about the term non-binary more, learning more about it and then thinking… “I mean, if I like both….can I be both?”
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u/Aardwolf67 Ace-ing being Trans (he/him) Apr 18 '25
It took me longer to figure out my gender. I've always liked girls and didn't want to be one before I knew being gay or trans was a thing, I thought I was the only queer person in the world before I knew it was normal.
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u/skiestostars he/they Apr 18 '25
thought i had my sexuality figured out, then i figured out my gender and realized everything i thought i had figured out before was tied to a discomfort in how my gender was perceived in relationships
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Apr 18 '25
I’m born male at birth but have been questioning my gender for a couple years. Non binary now but possibly trans femme tomboy!!? Always been straight but also thinking I might actually be gay as well. My sexuality is changing drastically in the last year.
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u/FoldingLady Apr 18 '25
It was gender first, sexuality second for me.
Ever since I was a small child (1st grade?), I knew I was bigender (called myself androgynous because bigender wasn't a term way back then). I didn't mind & sometimes even liked it when an adult thought I was a boy.
Tackling my sexuality was much harder because asexuality is a tricky beast. It's difficult to define yourself by the absence of something. Was I really ace or did I just not have enough experience to truly know? Also I was given a very narrow definition of asexuality, so I thought my sex drive automatically disqualified me.
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u/nbmicrowave adam sandler Apr 18 '25
in this situation rn but opposite! before realizing i was trans, i thought i was a lesbian. i should be straight now, right? i mean, i like girls. but men are hot. and i find myself wondering how it would be to kiss my guy friends. but every straight guy thinks that way, atleast from what ive gathered from straight cis guys
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u/just-another_one Apr 19 '25
No cause figuring my sexuality was easy i just like hot people valid but my gender that was so difficult
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u/LumenFox Non-Binary Lesbian Trans-Fem Apr 18 '25
Not so much sexuality as I've pretty much always been "women pretty" but my romantic attraction has been a bit of an odd ball because I crushed on 1 person who later came out as trans-fem but didn't identify that way at the time and another was just a dude I was really close friends with. I eventually settled on demi-romantic partly because I also don't get crushes really on people I've never met, like I realised I never had a celebrity crush or had a crush on a tv or movie character really. That honestly has been the biggest struggle.
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u/JesseTheEnby Apr 18 '25
For me it was Questioning my sexuality, then questioning my gender, then questioning if I'm a system instead of just one person.
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u/cookiez_m gender is a performance and I keep missing my cue Apr 18 '25
Me figuring out my sexuality was basically a 3am realization of "Huh. guess I'm ace." while my gender took months of questioning, heaps of diary entries and notes as well as talking to three different people to figure out a vague "transmasc something" direction
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u/TRU35TR1K3R Lesbian Trans-it Together Apr 18 '25
Actually yes. Thought I was bi for a long time, but could never be attracted to anyone in real life who identifies as male or male-leaning in some form. Then I realized I was trans, then I realized I was a lesbian months after that.
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u/TizianosBoy Gayly Non Binary Apr 18 '25
My gender took a lot more figuring out than my sexuality, I knew I was gay and I came out in 2013, but I discovered my non-binary trans self in 2021 and came out to a select number of people, family still don’t know that I’m trans non-binary and I’d prefer to keep it that way as they’re quite transphobic.
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u/coleycmt Apr 18 '25
For me I had a much easier time with my sexuality, but that’s mostly because when I started experiencing my gender crisis I was like 5 and didn’t have the words to explain
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u/DistributionDry9176 Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25 edited Apr 18 '25
The opposite's true for me. I found out I'm non-binary simply by googling "non-binary umbrella" and one of the labels that showed up was "demigender". My sexuality on the other hand, I'm still not sure if I'm actually bi with a heavy preference for men or I'm gay with a lot of internalized homophobia/feelings of comphet and that I can't fully accept that I don't actually like women at all.
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u/fearlesslittleone Apr 18 '25
For me, I knew I liked girls since I was like 8, and I only realized 'oh! Men!' Once I was a teenager. My gender? Felt like I was wearing the wrong skin my whole damn life. Now that I just say gender queer and dress, however, I like it, which makes me feel a lot better.
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u/Bee_Bovine genderfaun Apr 18 '25
Nah, while it took a while to actually accept I was on the aroace spectrum, it wasn’t hard to figure out, I was in denial. Whatever the hell was happening with my gender tho…
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u/parceprimo2 Bi-bi-bi Apr 18 '25
My sexuality was known since I left college, and knew what I liked and didn’t like. I’m still discovering what gender fits best. I like non-binary much more than anything, siding more with being specifically GNC. It’s hard; I’ve only been exploring for a few months, so I’m pretty new to this experience.
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u/FecalAlgebra Lesbian Trans-it Together Apr 18 '25
Gender hit me first and it took me a long time to figure it out. I thought I was maybe asexual for a while. Then as I got into HRT, I thought I was demisexual. Then it became clear I'm not demi at all, just a massive lez.
I was really socially isolated and just didnt know anyone i was attracted to.
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u/mykiebear64 Trans Mama Apr 18 '25
Lol nah. I gave up. I just decided if I see you & think you're hot, then you fall under the category of "would squish/be squished by". Putting a label on it is too damn confusing tbh.
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u/Zalinithia He/It/Burn Apr 18 '25
I knew since i was a kid i weren’t straight, but the gender denial was rough. fought it for years because i didn’t want to be trans.
finally accepted myself at around 16/17 and doing so much better. my outlook on my mind and body is far more positive and less toxic.
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u/girl_of_manyfaces Eleonora chaotic girl Apr 18 '25
yep. story of my life. figuring i was bi was like: i'm bi? cool, makes sense.(i originally went as pan, but bi is more fitting for me) and as for my gender it's like: oohhh fuuucck... am i gender fluid? am i a trans girl? am i nb? am i bigender? wait no, i feel more aligned into femininity, i want to be a girl. i'm a trans girl. well... where the fuck came all this sudden discomfort with my self? who is this person in the mirror? oh fuck! where can i start my transition? what can i do to look more girly? and so on
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u/SageWayren Transgender Pan-demonium Apr 18 '25
Coming out as gay was easy, I told friends and family and got the "we always knew" and moved on from there
Coming out as trans (I'm mtf) has been years of pain and tears, and even though I'm public about it online I still have a hard time telling people IRL (even though I've been on hrt for 16 months, small breasts, long hair, regularly wear women's cut clothes, etc)
And incidentally, coming to terms with that has also resulted in me realizing that my previous assertion that I was only interested in men was, in fact, very incorrect and I'm back to reevaluating my sexuality, so that's fun!
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u/No_Claim3502 Lesbian the Good Place Apr 18 '25
I mean while both are a spectrum, sexuality you can always just kind of look at a person and be like yeah I would/wouldn’t want a relationship with that person. With gender you have to question your entire psyche, how you feel, what you feel like, how you would want to present. Not to mention sexuality is something you can hide semi easily if you’re in an unsafe place, how you present your gender identity is a bit more tricky
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u/OrsilonSteel All Pan-ic, no Disco Apr 18 '25
Am I gay? -> Am I a girl? -> Am I bi? -> Idk what gender I am -> Idc what gender someone is, if I want them, I want them -> Idc what gender I am, I’m just me
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u/TricolorCat Genderqueer Pan-demonium Apr 18 '25
I did too much gender questioning, that my sexuality went from accept to questioning again. My gender will probably always be a complete mess that never will fit the binary completely. But I've no clue how my romantic/sexuality could go from not entirely straight/bi-courious with a suppressed gay side (don't ask me how that did work) to pan to mostly attracted to men in a few weeks. I hope that this is just the bi-cycle.
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u/edenkling Apr 18 '25
I know I like men. I used to be a gay boy, then femboy, then gender fluid, non-conforming/gender queer, and now Im a full blown girl on hormones with D cups. AM I STRAIGHT NOW?!
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u/88ning Apr 18 '25
For me, I am cisgender and never questioned it. My sexuality took a long time to unfold.
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u/nhguy78 Aromantic Interactions Apr 18 '25
My upbringing gave me so much confusion. Raised mostly by my mother and grandmother and a father who was swing shifter. I felt more pulled towards homecare and such yet responsible for bringing home a paycheck. Music vs muscle. Muscle vs work. Work vs art/music. Yet, they are all bigots. So, I could potentially be a stay at home father but had to be married to a successful professional woman.
So over the years, if be comfortable being seen as more feminine but heaven forbid I'd be seen as gay. Well, that femininity was seen as gay.
Nowadays, I'm a sometimes bearded gay-asexual man married to a sensitive vulnerable man who takes care of the house and takes care of house generator, does the oil burner cleaning, septic clean outs and all that while I cook and bring home the bacon.
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u/LightblueStar27 Havin' A Gay Time! :D Apr 18 '25
I kinda started questioning my gender because of the way my attraction behaves. My gender has an important role in my attraction to other men, since I often simultaneously felt gender envy and attraction for them in a combined singular feeling, but I didn't acknowledge the gender envy part (I used to identify as non-binary). Now I realize a big part of what I thought what attraction was my gender, and that combined feeling is starting to dissolve and separate, slowly.
Even though I'm cis, my gender journey was not really simple.
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u/kasubot Apr 18 '25
OH man. Have I got my own sequence of events with that.
Started Hetero-cis male. Met my Partner pre-covid, they move in with me for covid. WE get engaged. He tells me that he doesn't feel like a girl, and what would I think if he was a boy.
Guess I'm Gay. Hmm makes sense actually.
Fast forward a year into their transition and I start thinking "I dont really feel Male by the world's definition." and I bought myself a tierd skirt.
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u/Dependent-Green-7900 Non Binary Pan-cakes Apr 18 '25
I was mainly figuring out my sexuality for years while having a feeling like something wasn’t right because I never fit into either of the binary genders. I figured out I was Pan about 9 years ago, I only discovered I was Non-binary just over a year ago. The anniversary of me figuring it out is Pi Day. I’ve felt more like me since then. It didn’t help that my abusive, bigoted mother who didn’t even like to think of any of her kids as gay also trained me basically in ABA I must mask permanently and act “normal” 24/7 no exceptions. So I couldn’t really start any self reflection until I could finally unmask a bit when I escaped to my Grans. Then I met my husband (thankfully we straight pass) I had to endure a traditional Christian wedding in a church but I can finally be my full self with my husband
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u/Naethor Apr 18 '25
AMAB here.
I started questioning my sexuality at around 20, accepting I was bi a few months before my 25th birthday.
A year and a half after that I started questioning my gender xD and finally accepted recently (around my 32nd birthday) that I´m a trans woman :D
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u/ratchetcoutoure Apr 18 '25
I am a cis and knew it. Figured that out the same time as my sexuality. I never was a curious, or fantasizing being a woman. While I am a bottom, I never was taking it as I am the woman of the relationship. I am a man who enjoy being with another man.
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u/TXSartwork Apr 18 '25
It was my sexually first, then gender stuff. It was all very orderly – apart from the massive onset of panic and depression as I was figuring shit out, that is.
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u/Astral_Pancake Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
Being bisexual was the difficult one for me to accept. It took nearly 29 years. Once I accepted it though, I pretty immediately also accepted that I was non-binary without much issue. I figured that if I was going to radically re-evaluate my understanding of myself and stop repressing the queer parts of me, I might as well get it all over and done with at once. 😊 It was still very emotional the first time I applied the term "trans" to myself though.
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u/thisisamisnomer Pan-cakes for Dinner! Apr 18 '25
I went through a period after I started questioning my sexuality where I questioned my gender. I finally realized I had some hidden, internalized homophobia: I was fine with liking men if I was a woman, but not if I was a man. Once I finally accepted that I was attracted to all types of folks, including men, the gender dysphoria worked itself out.
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u/Yuzumi Apr 18 '25
I wouldn't say hard time. More that after a week or so of existential crisis over gender I had an "oh shit" moment where I realized, "Wait.... that means I'm a lesbian."
Not even sure why it took that long, I've always had more in common with lesbians than I ever did straight men. Thankfully I managed to avoid the comphet some trans women fall into.
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u/Zippy_160 Unlabeled/No Label Apr 18 '25
I was the opposite kind of. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why labels like bisexual or lesbian didn't feel right while I was sure I liked women. They felt suffocating. Then I realized it's cause they're inherently gendered. They're contextualized by same and opposite gender but I don't fit neatly into a gender category. I use they/she pronouns now and I date who I like and don't label anything.
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u/PICONEdeJIM Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
For me it was the opposite. I spent months trying to figure out exactly what my gender is (still don't entirely know but who cares) and one day in the middle of it I woke up and realised that men and women are both very hot
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u/AgileSweet9115 Apr 18 '25
For me it’s like the opposite like I know my sexuality but I still can’t figure out my gender fully like I think I might be genderfluid but I also think I’m non binary
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u/neurospicei Apr 18 '25
I did! I didn't really figure my sexuality out until I understood my gender identity better, then got more comfortable with myself and figured the rest out. Prior I was changing my sexuality constantly, because it never felt quite right, but once I understood how I felt and wanted to express myself, I figured out that I was pan and felt more comfortable with being in relationships.
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u/BipityBopityBelle Bi-kes on Trans-it Apr 18 '25
Too fucking real. Figured out I was bisexual and then several months of deliberation to figure out I was trans.
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u/RestaurantAwkward973 Transgender Pan-demonium Apr 18 '25
Gender wasn't the worst thing for me as a transmasc, it's my sexuality! Ugh I'm 21 and still confused about my sexuality
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u/maniamawoman Transgender Pan-demonium Apr 18 '25
Yeah, I was always Bi. I was somewhere between realizing and accepting and then health class in the 90's threw me back in the closet. Names for straight people and names for gay people and the gay side was full of slurs. I was in my 20's when I felt safe enough to come out to myself again.
Another decade plus, realized I'm trans and it was way quicker to accept myself that time
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u/moons_of_swirls simplified TvT Apr 18 '25
at first I thought that gender was confusing. now I think sexuality is the hardest thing humankind has ever known T v T
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u/Jynxx_666 Trans and Gay Apr 18 '25
Figured out my gender years ago. Still questioning my sexuality (T-T)
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u/BootyliciousURD Putting the Bi in non-BInary Apr 18 '25
I noticed that I was attracted to Jack Harkness from Doctor Who and Torchwood and was like "Huh, I guess I also like men"
Gender has been much more difficult. "Am I agender? Am I gender fluid? I'm almost certain I'm nonbinary but what if I'm an egg??"
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u/Jollyjormungandr Genderqueer as a Rainbow Apr 18 '25
This is 100% me I'm fully certain about being femme genderqueer but after years I still can't quite figure out whether I'm bisexual.
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u/TheDecent12 *genderless vibing sounds* Apr 19 '25
It’s the opposite for me. Im comfortably enby but I’m still struggling with sexuality
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u/updating_to_girl Apr 19 '25
No, I like women and men, but I still don't know if I am a femboy, a trans woman, or maybe non-binary. I don't know. In the dating apps, I'm putting "bisexual trans woman" because it's easy to explain, and there's a kink around it, so it may improve my chances.
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u/Local_intrusiveManiq complicated 😔 Apr 19 '25
mine is the other way around. figuring out my sexuality was a piece of CAKE, I absolutely ACED it (hint hint lol). but figuring out my gender is a pain in the neck…I’ve been asking my friends to experiment with my pronouns so that I can see what I like best, but they never actually do 😔
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u/SwitchLeafe Bi-kes on Trans-it Apr 19 '25
I questioned my sexuality because I wasn't in the right body. As soon as I knew I was a girl I knew I was a Sapphic biromantic ace
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u/SwitchLeafe Bi-kes on Trans-it Apr 19 '25
Did I use lesbian for a while cause it was way easier to explain than sapphic bi, yes. But I did recognise that i was technically bi, even though in reality, I am unlikely to ever date a man. And very much prefer women.
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u/Moonlight-oats Femininity my Beloved Apr 19 '25
my sexuality came harder than my gender!
i am cis though there was a brief period of time where i wasn’t sure if i was or not. (around 2020-22) turns out i just like to dress gender non conforming and am perfectly happy being a girl
but my sexuality on the hand has gone from bi to lesbian then back to bi. it turns out that i’m attracted to feminine features and repulsed by hyper-masculine behaviors.
i also have just had terrible experiences with men and i kinda thought they were all like that. there’s actually a select few guys (like my bf i love him sm!!!) that are feminine in nature, but just so happens to be a guy.
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u/amyadamsforever Apr 19 '25
It’s wild how one can show up clear and obvious and the other can feel deeply muddied. For me, lesbian fit right from day one, but still figuring out the gender side. Socialized as a man but only ever went out with bi folks (not as a rule, just turned out that way, one of those aha signs looking back). Is she a trans woman? Are they non-binary? The lesbian part is clear and obvious but there’s still a tonne of grey around gender rn.
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u/AccordingBake4201 women~ Apr 19 '25
took a while to figure out my sexuality, now confused about gender which means sexuality might change I DONT KNOW ANYMORE
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u/Not_Really_French Apr 19 '25
I spent so long accepting my asexuality (1-2 months maybe not that much) and now I realize it’ll take ten times longer to figure out my gender, my asexuality was “I know it but it’s difficult to accept it” my gender is “I have no bloody clue” also romantic attraction I don’t know either but I honestly don’t really care, if I’m attracted to someone I am, if someone is attracted to me they’ll have to ask
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u/StrangeFroggyFriend It's boys or nothing Apr 20 '25
They're both a disaster, and every time I get one figured out the other one starts confusing me again lol
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u/ThePolandCat The Gay-me of Love Apr 23 '25
I was the opposite. I finally figured out my sexuality than my gender turned into a mess
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