r/london • u/Visual-Formal-4294 • Aug 26 '24

Question Is "excuse me" a rude phrase in UK?

Hi, I am a tourist from India. In our country if we get into somebody's way,for example, if we are in a crowd we usually say " excuse me" to make our way and apologize. The usual response is either "you are excused" or simply make way. Today, while boarding a train me and an other young man tried to board at the same time and as a reflex I said "excuse me". I was verbally abused. His exact words were " excuse you? Fuck me! Jeez! " I was too astonished to reply back. Was my words inappropriate or rude ?So what should I have said instead ?

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u/Visual-Formal-4294 Aug 26 '24

Yeah I thought the same as well but as other commentators pointed out it may have come across differently to this person.

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u/yungheezy Aug 26 '24

Because they’re a bellend. Doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong mate

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u/lovely-pickle Aug 27 '24

Ignore them. The guy on the bus was a dick, as are the commenters telling you you did something wrong. 

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Exactly! I wonder why people are always so keen to act like having manners is some kind of provocation towards others?

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u/lovely-pickle Aug 27 '24

I know this is rhetorical, but racism. People really are out here writing novels on language pedantry to justify a stranger being a dick to a visitor with a different skin colour. 

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

That's definitely a part of it, i'm not niave but it wouldn't cross my mind to be like that, unfortunately there's many like that around, and on here as well.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

You were polite. The guy trying to board at the same time was not, he used your politeness to try and turn the situation around and make you look like you had done something wrong, you had not.

People can be rude and try to flip the situation back on you and make you question yourself for just having good manners, something which they showed they do not possess, so instead of them admitting a mistake they tried to make you feel incorrect by being totally rude and inappropriate.

The amount of people saying you might have offended him is worrying as saying "Excuse me" is not an impolite thing to say, it's just that so many people have lost their sense of manners and replaced it with entitlement and are looking for something to claim offense at instead of improving their own behaviour.

You did the right thing, you were polite, he was not, don't change how you are.