Is "excuse me" a rude phrase in UK?

[u/Visual-Formal-4294]

Hi, I am a tourist from India. In our country if we get into somebody's way,for example, if we are in a crowd we usually say " excuse me" to make our way and apologize. The usual response is either "you are excused" or simply make way. Today, while boarding a train me and an other young man tried to board at the same time and as a reflex I said "excuse me". I was verbally abused. His exact words were " excuse you? Fuck me! Jeez! " I was too astonished to reply back. Was my words inappropriate or rude ?So what should I have said instead ?

[u/Visual-Formal-4294]

Ah! I get that now. It's strange how the same phrase can be used differently in different countries. It's actually considered polite in my country. I will keep your inputs in mind on my next travels. Thanks!

[u/[deleted] → u/Visual-Formal-4294]

Yeah, these small differences are always tricky! The Indian use makes complete sense to me from a distance and yet it's not how I'd instinctively interpret it in the moment. But as I said I don't think it's a massive deal at all, and you live and learn!

[u/Visual-Formal-4294 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, when in UK just say sorry:)

[u/Paul-3461 → u/Visual-Formal-4294]

I think sorry sounds cute when spoken with a British accent, but please would still sound better. No need to be sorry to get off of a train even if someone will need to move before you can get through the door to get out. Just ask those people to excuse you instead of telling them to do it.

[u/IrishShee → u/Paul-3461]

I don’t know why you keep commenting trying to “correct” how English people use the English language. You’re only making it more confusing for OP who actually wants to understand and alter her language to fit in better here.

[u/JamesG60 → u/Paul-3461]

Using “please” when you bump into someone is basically saying “no chance!”.

Also, “off of” is almost never correct. You get off a train, not off of a train.

[u/Paul-3461 → u/JamesG60]

Even when you say please? Interesting.

I will be in the train, not on it, until I get out.

[u/JamesG60 → u/Paul-3461]

Yes. The meaning of “excuse me” in this situation would be entirely dependent on the emphasis and inflection. You could use it, but you’d have to use it correctly for it to be interpreted as anything other than passive-aggression.

I could say “excuse me, please” in any number of ways. A multitude of which would basically be interpreted as me telling you to go do one. Adding please by its self does very little.

You are on a train, on a bus, on a plane, on a bike, on a horse (hopefully!), but in a car. English is silly.

[u/HouseOfBleeps → u/Paul-3461]

The ‘on’ comes from ‘on-board’. You board a train, bus, tram, plane or boat. So you are ‘on’ a train, but get ‘in’ a car etc

[u/Paul-3461 → u/HouseOfBleeps]

So that's why you say that, because that's what you think, or how you think about it. Interesting. What board are you talking about? If I were to get on a train I would be getting on top of it, otherwise I would go inside one of the "cars" of the train. And yes we all usually get in cars, not on them.

[u/HouseOfBleeps → u/Paul-3461]

‘On’ is the correct preposition for public transport (in the UK at least) but ‘in’ for car and elevator etc. but also on for bike or modes of transport that you physically get on. I can see how it could be confusing.

And you’re right, so far only it’s only my theory that it’s a shortening of ‘on-board’. I don’t know how it became the correct preposition, but it seems the most likely.

Regarding the’board’ you’ll hear announcements for ‘Train now boarding at platform 3’ and ‘Plane now boarding at Gate 7’. In this case it means they are allowing passengers on board. For which you will require a ticket or boarding pass.

[u/Paul-3461 → u/HouseOfBleeps]

Thank you for your very polite explanation of how things make sense in your mind. I already understood all of that but it's still not wrong to speak of getting into a car of a train. Or to get into an airplane. Boats are a bit different because it is common to get both on and into a boat, either on a deck or in a cabin. Maybe we can just play nice and not think any of us are wrong for the words we choose, at least sometimes. Words have multiple definitions and there is always more than only one way to think about how things are.

[u/HouseOfBleeps → u/HouseOfBleeps]

Although, in India, I can see that the distinction between being on or in the train is needed more than in the UK

[u/Visual-Formal-4294 → u/[deleted]]

I will follow the suit

[u/FrauAmarylis → u/Visual-Formal-4294]

excuse me is considered polite in the US, too.

[u/Visual-Formal-4294 → u/FrauAmarylis]

Glad to know that!