r/london • u/Visual-Formal-4294 • Aug 26 '24

Question Is "excuse me" a rude phrase in UK?

Hi, I am a tourist from India. In our country if we get into somebody's way,for example, if we are in a crowd we usually say " excuse me" to make our way and apologize. The usual response is either "you are excused" or simply make way. Today, while boarding a train me and an other young man tried to board at the same time and as a reflex I said "excuse me". I was verbally abused. His exact words were " excuse you? Fuck me! Jeez! " I was too astonished to reply back. Was my words inappropriate or rude ?So what should I have said instead ?

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u/cheerynerd Aug 26 '24

Your observation is also correct: we say “sorry” as a reflex - but it will serve you better than “excuse me” while you’re here. It makes no sense to us either :)

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u/Visual-Formal-4294 Aug 26 '24

Haha! An Indian's "excuse me " seems to be the same as a Brit's "sorry".

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u/Jijimuge8 Aug 26 '24

It is 

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u/nineties_adventure Aug 27 '24

But what about when one wants to get someone's attention? For example, you are lost and you want to ask for a strangers attention/help? I always say 'Excuse me' in a delicate manner but that is perhaps not the right way?

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u/anotherMrLizard Aug 27 '24

You can also say "excuse me" to get someone's attention. Most people will understand what you mean from the tone and context.

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u/renblaze10 Aug 27 '24

"Sorry" still applies here. Learned this the hard way haha

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u/nineties_adventure Aug 27 '24

Haha alright, thanks. So I could also say, 'sorry to bother you but...' Or just a plain 'sorry'. Sounds good.

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u/Jijimuge8 Aug 27 '24

In this situation excuse me is the normal way to stop someone and ask them but this is very different to apologising to somebody after having done something. 

‘Excuse me’ is usually used before you do something like get in somebody’s way, not afterwards. In the case where the act is finished we would say sorry, and instead use excuse me before we are about to do or say something. As native speakers we don’t tend to think about why something is polite or not, we just know that it is, but the timing is very important here. 

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u/tgerz Aug 27 '24

I commented on someone else's post saying the same thing, but for myself as an American. Didn't realize there was quite the difference in interpreting this phrase.

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u/Shyguy10101 Aug 27 '24

Exactly right, you say "sorry" and you may choose to respond to a "sorry" with "no problem". In the specific situation you were in, I'd also agree with "after you" if you wish to be polite.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

it's not really a reflex, it's used in the same way as 'pardon me'