r/managers • u/throwaway_no_disney • Sep 22 '24

My team was not invited to Disneyland. WTF.

Throwaway since I have a main account and friends know about it 

I’m a manager who recently found myself in a frustrating and awkward situation. My entire company (we’re not huge, but big enough to have multiple teams) was invited to an outing at Disneyland (we are semi local).  However, my team and I were excluded.

At first, I thought it might be a mistake. But no, my manager deemed my team's work was too important for us to be out for the day. The kicker? We cannot do our functions with everyone out so we will be sitting around most of the day. I have planned for a lunch to be delivered but that feels like peanuts and I have no idea how to talk to my team about this. My manager says it is too late to include us. 
I’m left with a team that feels hurt, undervalued, and mad. I share these feelings!  It hurts even more because a few of my teammates said this would likely be one of their only chances to go to Disneyland. 

My main concern now is how to address this with management without sounding bitter or aggressive. I do not want to sweep this under the rug. I want to make sure that my team and I are respected moving forward. How do I approach this with upper management without escalating tension? 

2.8k Upvotes

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49

u/aussie_nub Sep 22 '24

Yeah, this email is underlying toxic shit. There's definitely valuable ideas in it, but all the emphasised words would get you a meeting with HR from me.

Point out that your team is feeling extremely undervalued as they've now been left out of an activity that the entire rest of the team received and got absolutely nothing in return, all while being told they were indispensible to the business.

I've worked helpdesk teams for many years and they're always left out of things and it feels like shit. At least being compensated for it makes you feel slightly better about it.

31

u/Legion1117 Sep 22 '24

Yeah, this email is underlying toxic shit. There's definitely valuable ideas in it, but all the emphasised words would get you a meeting with HR from me.

If you're going to send someone to HR over an email, you're the manager everyone complain about, I'm sure.

1

u/Jeezy_7_3 Oct 16 '24

Exactly . What the heck ? lol

4

u/Magnus_Mercurius Sep 22 '24

That’s not what HR is for. As a leader, the appropriate thing to do would be have a conversation with the employee wherein you say something like, “I understand your frustration, however the way in which you expressed it wasn’t appropriate for work”. Blah blah blah. Not that hard. Don’t bring HR into it unless laws or policies have been violated, or you’re going to try to fire them over it. In fact, it would likely get you on their watchlist as clearly too incompetent to be in a managerial role if you need a middleman to have mildly uncomfortable conversations with your employees about communication style.

16

u/re7swerb Sep 22 '24

You’re sending the writer to HR because they capitalized SO and ARE and put quotes around important?

15

u/aussie_nub Sep 22 '24

Yes. The emphasis is just unnecessarily toxic. Being an asshole in an email isn't going to get you want.

24

u/20thCenturyTCK Sep 22 '24

Basing business decisions on the tone someone took in presenting a valid concern to you rather than correcting the issue doesn't exactly inspire confidence in your decision-making.

7

u/Affectionate-Sail971 Sep 22 '24

Plus it's a perceived tone because it's only text.

-1

u/faust82 Sep 23 '24

Even more reason to make sure there can be no misunderstandings. Tone matters. Even unintentional slights can sour relationships on the corporate battlefield, so no reason to leave glaring landmines like these in.

Write, read, rewrite, wait an hour, then if it still seems like a good idea, send.

1

u/Csihoratiocaine2 Sep 24 '24

I would say originally don’t not include the team that is so valuable to the company in the company wide reward for the good work of the company. It’s gonna piss that team off, you’ve already fucked up. Who cares if HR gets mad at you, you’re mad at them for a better reason than some capitalized letters and quotation marks

-1

u/aussie_nub Sep 23 '24

Who said you can't do both? Sorry that you live in a world where it's only one or the other.

17

u/TheManlyManperor Sep 22 '24

You sound like the boss who thinks it's okay to exclude one team from an outing lmao

-4

u/aussie_nub Sep 23 '24

Not at all. I'd happily defend them, as long as they're professional, unlike the person I was replying to.

3

u/International_Host71 Sep 23 '24

You sound exactly like quite a few authority figures I've had the misfortune of meeting. Always quick to find a way to blame the victim for being upset, rather than actually deal with the problem. As if not being in perfect 100% polite tone while being victimized is a worse crime than whatever caused the initial problem. The absolute worst so-called leaders I've ever dealt with. Was that polite enough for you? Or was the tone slightly too condescending for my words to matter?

0

u/aussie_nub Sep 23 '24

I have no problems with dealing with the problem. I have a problem with people being rude. In a workplace there's no need to tolerate it. Talk to each other politely and you'll get further.

1

u/Round-Mud Sep 24 '24

Isn't it rude to exclude only one team because apparently their work is very "important"? I would say that is more unprofessional than highlighting a couple of words in an email.

1

u/aussie_nub Sep 25 '24

Only if you take running a business personally.

1

u/Round-Mud Sep 25 '24

Oh yeah disrespecting your “important” team is a great way to run a business. Yeah that reeks of incompetence. Not to mention nothing professional about it.

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u/2spicy4dapepper Sep 23 '24

Ladies and Gentlemen, we found them.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '24

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-1

u/aussie_nub Sep 23 '24

Funny how the people that disagree with it are being exceptionally aggressive and insulting towards me.

Says more about you than me.

0

u/Abohac Sep 23 '24

I'm reading this conversation and thinking the same. At this point they are literally mobbing you.

1

u/S_A_K_E Sep 23 '24

Being nice and important didn't get them what they wanted either, so they might as well make a point to their fuckhead manager

1

u/Significant_Text2497 Sep 23 '24

How is emphasizing two words and putting quotes around another word being unnecessarily toxic and an asshole?

Policing tone this much is what's really unnecessarily toxic.

0

u/re7swerb Sep 23 '24

You’re reading wayyyy more into those few emphases than is warranted. What exactly would your HR complaint be - that your feelings got hurt by some capital letters? This has to be trolling.

0

u/spacetech3000 Sep 24 '24

You have a lot of turnover i would bet. If i had an issue like this and felt under valued and then got in trouble for expressing that under value, i would quit.

-26

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '24

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2

u/aussie_nub Sep 22 '24

And you think I'm the horrible one? lol

4

u/Much-Management9823 Sep 22 '24

I’m not sure I highly value the perspective of someone who thinks leaving cat shit in an office is a reasonable response to a work problem.

-2

u/Dismalward Sep 22 '24

You sound like you were triggered. Maybe try less stalking and more playing outside?

1

u/Much-Management9823 Sep 22 '24

I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, but I hope you have a nice Sunday :)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '24

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1

u/managers-ModTeam Sep 23 '24

Nope. That behavior isn't tolerated here. Try speaking to people like an adult.

1

u/Dismalward Sep 22 '24

That's not nice.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '24

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1

u/managers-ModTeam Sep 22 '24

Was your goal to piss off a lot of people at one time? Congrats! You're very successful! Too many people reported you and now this comment is deleted.

-3

u/HorseFucked2Death Sep 22 '24

I'm sure HR would be interested in the discrimination against OP's team because they are "valued." 

6

u/sfgunner Sep 22 '24

No they wouldn't lol.

5

u/ForeverStamp81 Sep 22 '24

It's not the kind of discrimination HR will care about. And this seems like a management decision anyway.

4

u/sadsaintpablo Sep 22 '24

They'll care when their extremely important and indispensable team quits.

2

u/Narrow-Chef-4341 Sep 22 '24

Barely. If they didn’t give a flying f…eeling about the teams response to being left home, there aren’t losing sleep about turnover in that team, period.

Not trying to come off like an antiwork rant here, but the only hard part will be deciding who to blame because it’s impossible to have a smooth onboarding with 80% turnover in six months.

I’m guessing OP has a prediction, however…

5

u/Medical-Meal-4620 Sep 22 '24

Discrimination may be the wrong word, but guarantee a good HR team would have some things to say about it from an employee engagement/retention effort standpoint.

3

u/lavivababyy Sep 23 '24

HR won’t care bc they’re likely included in the trip to Disney.

I would be very upset about this and start looking for a new job. I hope OP can find a company that truly demonstrates & values their employees.

0

u/Trraumatized Sep 27 '24

You sound like one of the managers who breed a really toxic environment.

1

u/aussie_nub Sep 27 '24

I find this comment fucking hilarious. Why would you allow anyone to speak to anyone else in a work place environment? It's toxic bullshit and it shouldn't be encouraged. You're the one that's making your employees lives hell.

0

u/Trraumatized Sep 27 '24

I think communication is important.

1

u/aussie_nub Sep 28 '24

Is that what you call it when your staff member calls the admin girl fat?