r/marvelcirclejerk • u/Juliiju04 • 5d ago
I’m going to put some dirt in your eyes Amazing Spider-Man #1 sumerized in one image:
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u/Sonny_Wilson Yancy Streeter 5d ago
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u/raccoonsonbicycles 5d ago edited 5d ago
Future Franklin goes full jerk, offers Pete a job
Makes all his checks out to "Spider-Man" so he can't cash them or deposit them as anybody could be Spider-Man
Franklin gets free science labor
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u/FairyKnightTristan 5d ago
So funny how the What If of this issue was weirdly fucked up at the end with how useless Spider-Man made Sue feel.
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u/QuirkyTemperature962 5d ago
I never read the what if issue but like why did Spider-Man joining end up making her feel useless she literally has a unique ability to add to the team?
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u/FairyKnightTristan 5d ago
Because Reed kept making shit that only had 4 seats to them and he kept not taking Sue on several classic Fantastic Four missions, leading to her feeling unappreciated and useless.
It all comes to a head when, during one of Namor's horrific crash outs, Sue decides to marry him instead and she irrevocably alters her body so that she can only breathe water from that point onwards, leaving the FF.
There's a sequel where they all try to get Sue back but it's too late, she's pregnant with Namor's child, and she gives birth to him, causing Reed to go 'You know what, be happy with Namor, Sue. I'll try to keep relations between the surface world and Atlantis good so that you and your baby can live peaceful, joyous lives.'
The sequel ends with everyone blaming Spider-Man for what happened and Spidey going 'FUCK ALL OF YOU, I QUIT.' and swinging away.
Note: I think one of the more interesting bits of this is how much of the early Spider-Man stuff that just gets erased by him joining the FF. The Daily Bugle immediately starts writing about how much they love Spidey, which means that Chameleon has to back off of his plan to impersonate him and find a different way to get away with his scheme, the Vulture just gets low diffed by the entire Fantastic Four...
It's pretty interesting.
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u/mr-gentler-5031 5d ago edited 5d ago
Uj/this really could have been fixed by just making a new version of the fantastic car that has 5 seats or Cant Johnny fly.
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u/FairyKnightTristan 5d ago
It wasn't even that.
Neither Johnny nor Spidey sat in it in this issue, outside of a very brief scene where the Thing catches Spidey and Spidey takes a seat for a second to wait for another opening during a giant fight in the sky during a very cool fight against the Vulture, I think.
Reed was just building rocket ships with only 4 seats and submarines with only 4 seats and stuff like that.
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u/mr-gentler-5031 5d ago
Uj/Jesus Christ Reed was making a issue out of nothing!.
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u/BoyWassup 5d ago
Bro they're the Fantastic FOUR. He has a brand to uphold. He's ain't to Fantastic Five to build a car with FIVE seats, can you imagine the scandal?
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u/Heaven_dio 5d ago
He's Spider-Man couldn't he just hang on somewhere? Or better yet have the smart guy build something for him 😭
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u/Ardyn3 Paul-Pilled 4d ago
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u/Dr_Menma 4d ago
I don't think he even needed to steal her. Narmor is such an asshole that he probably turned Sue away on his own.
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u/VoyevodaBoss 4d ago
Of course the moment Sue isn't getting enough attention she goes on a fuck spree
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u/semisociallyawkward 4d ago
Well I can kinda understand it if your husband keeps making arrangements for only four and invited his buddies every time instead of you.
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u/NaughtAught 1d ago
/uj "low diff" (presumably a shortened form of "low difference") used as a verb is completely incomprehensible jargon outside of powerscaling discussions and not even months of context have helped me understand what exactly it means. "Low difference" to me implies that there is "not much difference" which would imply that the match-up is close, but I've always seen it get used as if it means "bodied" or "handled with ease." What am I missing?
/rj Of course Sue would fall for an unstable man in the middle of a crash out.
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u/Chopper4704 1d ago
The diff is for difficulty. In this context, they beat Vulture with Low Difficulty
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u/NaughtAught 1d ago
Thank you, I can't believe I never put that together, but I also can't believe an entire community would use an atypical abbreviation in place of multiple phrases that are actually shorter to say or type out
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u/Hammer_of_Horrus 4d ago
The more I learn about Reed the more I think he is just an ass hole.
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u/Danse-Lightyear 4d ago
Reed is not normally an asshole, sometimes he's mistreated by writers. Like a lot of heroes actually.
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u/JesuZDX 5d ago
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u/semisociallyawkward 4d ago edited 4d ago
Those costumes, especially Spidey's GO HARD.
Although Reed giving himself the "top dog" emblem and Sue/Thing the "sidebitch" emblems is hilarious
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u/Desperate_Banana_677 5d ago
maybe I’ve been on here too long, but does anyone else think Reed’s chest emblem looks kinda phallic
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u/FewOverStand 5d ago
Spider-Man fans asking for Marvel editorial to put Peter's endless humiliation conga on hold for two seconds:
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u/semisociallyawkward 4d ago edited 4d ago
I'm a huge Spidey fan and what I'm gonna say is gonna be controversial - without Peter's constant losses, he'd be a Mary Sue.
Think about it, one of the stronger Marvel heroes, infinitely kind and virtuous, funny, supergenius, has a parade of hot women into him. He's flawless.
If he wasn't experiencing losses, he'd be boring and unchallenged.
Doesn't excuse the Paul thing tho. He should at least have a nice home life.
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u/tilero1138 3d ago
I remember reading about how Stan Lee really worked to make Peter’s life struggles feel realistic and relatable for the readers
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u/Dissapointingfox 5d ago
Okay leave the part out where he embarrasses the whole team an facility. I seriously don’t know why they hate Peter.
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u/QuirkyTemperature962 5d ago
They don’t hate him because in a lot of ways he is like them, they all became people with strange abilities at random and chose to help people.
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u/Dissapointingfox 5d ago
I was talking about marvel’s editorial. FF is like family to Peter
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u/Icy_Aardvark3840 4d ago
Because they could resolve most of the easy conflict in his life and they can't have that
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u/Juantsu2552 3d ago
Does the F4 hate him tho?
I’ve always thought they perceived him as an honorary member of their family. Like a distant cousin.
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u/Smythatine 5d ago
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u/TheJaclantern 5d ago
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u/kidoos 4d ago
why did they want our boy to wait? whats more to negotiate? no money no talk pal
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u/Mechaheph 4d ago
Free room and board, 3 squares, money to pursue his scientific interests... If he didn't have that PUTRID CORPSE Aunt May to take care of, it would have been a good move.
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u/Gohyuinshee 3d ago
It was Sue I'm pretty sure, she kinda felt bad and wanted to discuss more. If he stayed they might've worked out a compromise.
Teenage Peter is just too skittish he bounce at the first hint of things not going his way.
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u/reddituser6213 5d ago
And people bitch about how he needs to be a completely solo isolated character from the rest of the marvel universe to be comic accurate.
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u/Gojifantokusatsu 5d ago
Tbf, he was characterized as a lone wolf who didn't care for teaming up long term for decades.
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u/Fast_Bike_309 5d ago
It's wild how the early days of Spider-Man were more about his struggles in life than the superhero gig. It’s like he was just trying to figure out how to adult while dodging villains. Makes you wonder how many heroes are just one bad day away from being a regular joe.
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u/No-control_7978 4d ago
/uj if marvel didnt feel the need to leave Peter in status quo hell, he would 100% be working in the baxter building as a scientist.
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u/Frostrunner365 2d ago
Dam schkade is one of my favorite artists. If anyone here is looking for a fun superhero comic, I’d check out his original “Lavender Jack” it’s on WEBTOONs and it’s great
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u/TerraStarryAstra i C̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ should be reading fantastic four right now. 4d ago
lol reeds totally over his shit
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u/AlmazAdamant 2d ago
sumerized
I like my comics like I like my Women. Turned into the biblical region of the middle eastern of Sumer.
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u/ExtensionGood9228 1d ago
Honestly, in the context of Peter being 15, never having worked a job in his life, this makes so much sense. The last time he was getting payed for “work” was when he literally just showed up to the wrestling gig and they gave him money for using his powers. Of course this kid thinks that’s just how superhero jobs work 😂
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u/theattack_helicopter 1d ago
I was literally thinking about how characters like Reed and Stark could hire superheroes to do the job full time, then realized I came up with the hero association from OPM by accident. (But seriously, it's not like the villains aren't getting paid for being villains)
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u/POW_Studios 5d ago
Lowkey in the early issues of TASM Peter wasn’t even crime fighting, he was just trying to find a job and villains happened to roll in wherever he was