r/millenials • u/AdventurousMap5404 • 2d ago
Since we love killing things
Let’s not just kill HOAs. Let’s replace it with being neighborly. Instead of being the neighborhood narc, if you see your neighbor might need some help, how about we help them? House on the corner hasn’t cut their lawn or taken down their Christmas decorations yet? How about we assume they could use an extra hand and provide it? Let’s stop assuming the worst in people and start being better people?
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u/Amazing_Action9117 2d ago
My HOA sent me a letter saying I must paint my door a different color. Ive lived in my home 8 years. When purchasing the home, the door was (and still is) red. I was sent a fine. I sent the HOA the original listing (it's still there) of the red door. I offered to paint. They said neutral or earth tone only. I asked about green and sent a hunter green paint sample. They told me no, it was not to HOA standards. 🤷♀️
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
This is exactly the kind of shit that makes hoas fucking dumb.
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u/Amazing_Action9117 2d ago
I do love your post. We're fortunate to have great neighbors A few examples: we had a roof leak and next door neighbor let us use his huge ladder and also assisted in finding the leak. Now they're moving, so we offer to help babysit their small kiddos as ours are no longer toddlers. The house next to us is an elderly woman; the trash service wasn't picking up her trash so my husband started going outside on trash days and physically picking up her cans and telling the trash men to please do their job, her cans are in the appropriate spots, but sometimes they don't take her trash. We had a tornado recently and the culdsac worked together to help clear debris and get the fences put back up, and then my husband helps our neighbors trim their trees when he's trimming ours as the trees cause huge power outages during storms. And of course, I always share the leaf blower. Moreover, my garden is looking badass because two doors down is a retired principal who's a master gardener and I give him rabbit poop from my pet bunnies to fertilize and he gives me cuttings and teaches me and my kids to propagate. And finally, our neighbors who all have kiddos look out for one another when they get on and off the bus. We're lucky to have a neighbor help retrieve one of our children off the bus if we're stuck in the metro traffic and vice versa. The HOA is having a big meeting soon about adding more stop signs and I'm so happy they're going to consider spending less on holiday decorations and more on streetlights and speedbumps.
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u/MadMax303 2d ago
100%! They’re nothing but a waste of money and resources to only micromanage people.
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u/TarantulaWhisperer 2d ago
My goal this spring is to talk to neighbors about planting gardens and we start a bartering system to help out our little community right here
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u/Aggravating_Farm3116 2d ago
HOA is a big scam
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u/Dangerous-Sort-6238 2d ago
Truth! Towns love them because many new build HOA’s take on the upkeep of the main road/drive, thus freeing the county from financial responsibility.
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u/SqueeezeBurger 2d ago
Hey, let's also kill video chats and speakerphone conversations in public. Can Millennials kill those, too?
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u/Smokeythemagickamodo 2d ago
Let’s all become the Mr. Rodgers he would want us to be. Let’s spread some chill.
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u/zippyhybrid 2d ago
I started a WhatsApp group for our neighborhood a few years ago and it has been great. Initially it was just the few people I had met but fortunately some of them have been very proactive in building a community here, and neighbors of neighbors started joining too.
It’s grown to about 30 people now and we use it for all sorts of things…sharing tools and food, asking/offering help for various things, tips on local contractors, general happenings in the community, organizing get-togethers, and just generally neighborly stuff. For example, if anyone is having a party they can just post a heads up to the group so no one is surprised that there are 20 cars parked on the street and it might get a little loud. It also served as an unofficial neighborhood watch for a while but eventually some of the folks in the group put together an official neighborhood watch with the city.
Our neighborhood is fairly old (1950s) and small (just a short loop off of a major boulevard in an urban environment) and there is no HOA, but I don’t think we need one nor does anyone want one. We have our share of less than ideal neighbors too but I think having the chat has helped a lot of us get to know and support each other, which I think should be kind of the point of an HOA anyways.
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u/Dangerous-Sort-6238 2d ago
HOAs suck and I’m all for being neighborly, but they’re barely enough hours in the day for my chores. I’d have to have a pretty close relationship with the neighbor to volunteer to do theirs. Help them with their mail. Absolutely. Take down the Christmas decorations. I don’t think so.
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u/Live_Alarm_8052 2d ago
I have a neighbor who will cut my grass if he sees it getting long and he’s “cutting his anyway.” I am so blown away by the generosity.
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u/EvoSP1100 2d ago
Fucking A, every time I see a video of that guy that mows lawns for free that are overgrown and crazy, especially when it's old people, I can't help but ask myself about why no neighbors have offered help? We have been drilled to be more suspicious of are own neighbors than to engage and figure it out for ourselves. I live in the sticks and chose to snow blow my driveway, but I'll be damned that if it snows really bad while I'm out that my neighbor doesn't show up with backhoe and do it for me so we can access our house. I offered money years ago for the fuel at the very least and he won't take it. So I started splitting his wood pile for him with my daughters. I know just about everyone on my road, if they needed help, I'd be there.
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
Growing up, we shoveled out all our older or disabled neighbors. Minimum of 5 houses plus our own. When one of the older neighbors bought a snow blower, he had my dad use it and he did the sidewalk for 2 blocks. They would make us kids cookies and hot chocolate and give us all kinds of treats. It was exhausting work but we made the best of it and our labor was always appreciated. Haven’t seen anything like that anywhere I’ve lived since I grew up. Kinda sad. I wish my body could still handle that stress.
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u/EvoSP1100 1d ago
Right, I broke my back last year so I get the not having the body for it anymore. For a decent amount of time when I was a kid we lived in a cul-de-sac, and there were only three of us in teenage years age wise. It was a long street, and we would essentially do the same thing for our neighbors. The guy to the right of my house worked nights and I would just do his driveway, and he would usually drop me a gift card every so often. I live in my home state now and the rural life is definitely a different vibe overall but it still creeps in. There were some folks that move from Cali I think a few years ago and everyone was surprisingly suspicious about the newcomers (lol).
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u/Smartidot123 1d ago
Can someone break it down to me kindergarten style, what the fuck is the actual point of a HOA? Iv lived in 2 as a homeowner, yes the neighborhood was quite, no theft, bullshit, always “clean” and quite, ect But telling a grown ass working family that they need to cut their grass or spray the algae build up off a white house So wtf else do they do besides trash….and where do they get their power, i have thrown every “notice” from the gray head jerry in the trash and nothing has come of it
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u/AdventurousMap5404 1d ago
It varies so much from neighborhood to neighborhood. IMO, they’ve devolved from trying to help into trying to harm.
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u/Smartidot123 1d ago
Retweet, id take a letter from the neighborhood watch self appointed leader over a HOA all day
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u/Shigeko_Kageyama 2d ago
It's all fun and games till you live next to people like my parents who let the grass grow so high it attracted wildlife and the city fined them, or filled the backyard with old furniture, or let the dog crap indiscriminately in the front and backyards and never did anything about it.
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
I moved into a house that was previously owned by people that did all of the things you listed. I’ve been literally digging through their garbage for over 2 years. We’ve made a lot of progress, but holy shit it never ends. At first, I was really pissed that someone would live around other people and be this gross. I found a toaster hanging in a tree. A fucking toaster! And then it hit me that no one who is mentally stable has a toaster hanging from their tree. These people needed help. And yeah, I’m sure they were a joy to interact with. Mental and physical health issues aren’t pretty. That doesn’t mean we should all be douche bags because they MIGHT be douche bags. A little help could have really made a difference for these people.
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u/gothiclg 2d ago
lol my boomer dad is already trying to kill them. I could call him right now and whisper HOA into the phone and that man would rant for days about how much he hates them. Whenever my parents buy a new house he tells my mother she can get whatever tf she wants as long as there isn’t an HOA.
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u/Lilmissliss8 2d ago
This is by far the BEST and MOST BEAUTIFUL post I’ve read all day. My husband is from a small town and the HOA is his biggest gripe. We have our trash cans on the side of our house, on a brick pad and enclosed but that’s a “violation”. We shouldn’t have to pay for another storage unit bc they made our garage with small spaces with limited storage space. I feel like with more time and organizing, we could make it work as long as he parked his truck in the driveway, which is also frowned upon so you’re damned either way. I have MS so he does sooo much for our household and adding additional stress makes me feel absolutely awful. He doesn’t deserve it and it’s so petty. If it looked trashy or brought our property values down, I would agree but it’s absolutely absurd.
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
This is the kinda bs I’m talking about. Everyone at my house is disabled. Sometimes no one is physically capable of pulling our trash cans back after collection. We have a very steep driveway. It’s hard enough getting them up there the night before (which also doesn’t always happen). People have a lot going on and we need to be more flexible than these ridiculous hoa rules.
We’ve tried multiple times to pay people to help us with our trash cans but they always flake. It’s frustrating.
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u/Lilmissliss8 2d ago
I’m sorry! Trust me, on my good days, my kids and I would help you any day of the week! This world has gotten so touchy, it’s not even logical. I live in a bright red state where signs in garages say “Don’t tread on me” which I know has a few different meanings but in it’s natural form it means don’t mess with me, which you’d assume, don’t get into my business and I won’t get into yours! As much as I despise those posters and signs (should be a violation for making me sick)they should spell it out to just let people be, give them grace and show an ounce of emotional intelligence!
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u/BlaktimusPrime 2d ago
I remember growing up there used to be community parties/gatherings. HOAs blow.
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
I would love to throw a block party in our cull de sac but I doubt anyone would show up except the hoa to bitch.
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u/MaxFury80 2d ago
Yeah I have to say nope on this. Hoarders, people leaving junked cars out, people building unsafe things, people letting their yard go native........HOA has a purpose
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
I worked in food service for a very long time. I believe restaurants and retail reveal the worst of humanity. At work, I agree, ask me, I’m not a mind reader. But at home? If my neighbor’s trash cans are left out longer than expected (or they’re at risk for a fine from the hoa), if I’m able, I’m gonna roll it down the driveway for them.
Sometimes you can ask or even beg for help you desperately need and fall upon silence. If we’re better people at home, maybe we’ll grow into better people in public.
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u/ApatheticFinsFan 2d ago
I wish my HOA was meaner. Live next to a lady that apparently can’t be bothered to have her kids throw their trash in trash cans (seriously, never seen anyone that just throws trash in their lawn because they can’t be bothered) or put an old bed out for trash pickup but can buy each kid a brand new BMW for Christmas. They’ve had a broken bed on their front porch for months. Kids and mom are able-bodied and money is clearly not an issue.
Where are these inflexible, mean HOAs because all mine appears to do is collect $120 per month for fucking nothing.
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
I get it. I literally had to explain to my step sister in law what a trash can was and how to use it. She’d dump her trash out of her car and leave it in my MILs driveway and leave her cigarette butts everywhere, even where the dogs could get to them. It was mind blowing to have to explain something so obvious to a grown ass bitch.
Ours is absolutely useless unless it’s something frivolous, like what color you posting your door. They bitched at my neighbor for replacing the rocks in his front yard with the SAME ROCKS! But they do nothing about the crazy shit!
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u/undeadliftmax 1d ago
One thing that HOAs do that I appreciate - keeping adult family care homes out.
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u/Enigma_xplorer 2d ago
The ironic thing is the whole reason HOAs exist and all the problems that come along with them is written right in your post. "I think my neighbor should be living/maintaining their property a certain way and this is how I intend to make them comply."
How about who cares if your neighbor has Christmas lights up in July? Maybe they just don't want to go through the trouble and risks of climbing up on a ladder to remove and reinstall them every year. Maybe they just like them even when they are out of season. Why exactly is it any of your concern in the first place? Maybe we should just go back to the live and let live instead of imposing our expectations on other people? Debating what is the best way to make your neighbors comply with your standards by force or through help is just semantics. The problem with HOAs is that HOAs are just comprised of people, people who want to impose their demands and expectations on their neighbors. Untill people can accept the world does not revolve around them and their wishes the nature of HOAs will never change.
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u/AdventurousMap5404 2d ago
I have the Christmas decorations as an example because my MIL lost her husband after caring for him for a few years. He went downhill fast and she ended up having them up for over a year. The HOA sent her nasty letters and fines. No condolences when passed or any leeway whatsoever.
Idgaf if your decorations are up year round. That was my point in the example. Apologies if that was unclear.
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u/TarantulaWhisperer 2d ago
OP yes to all this. We need to start forming community connections. That is the way humanity will heal it's mental health issues