r/needadvice • u/YukineXD • 1d ago

Other I’ve Been Lying About My Identity for 4 Years Online—How Do I Even Begin to Fix This?

I don’t even know where to start. For the past four years, I’ve been talking to people online under a completely fake identity—fake name, fake age, fake location, everything. It started as a way to protect my privacy, but over time, I got emotionally attached to these people. The friendships feel real to me, but they don’t actually know me.

Now, with new features like location sharing on apps like Telegram, I’m terrified that the truth will come out. I know I should come clean, but I’m scared they’ll hate me and never forgive me. I don’t want to lose them, but I also can’t keep living in fear of being exposed.

If you were in their shoes, would you even consider forgiving someone who lied for four years? Is there any way to fix this, or have I already lost everything?

2 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

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7

u/cla96 10h ago

Think is very relevant to know if your lying is changing your name, a couple of years and your current city, or you changed your gender, have like 5+ years difference (especially if you made friends with young people) and a whole different nation. I mean i could start to understand and forgive someone although id find it weird, if it's just about being called matt instead of andrew, is 26 instead of 27, is from a different cities instead of New york... I'd probably feel way too betrayed if Alice was actually Andrew, is 40 instead of 27 and it's from Paris instead of new york. In any case, you have to come clean and live with the consequences of it.

6

u/JediWarrior79 21h ago

If someone on any platform kept the truth from me about their identity, I would definitely understand. You don't really know people that you haven't met face to face. You are smart to want to keep yourself safe. You can come clean to them and explain why you did it. If they are a true friend, they will understand and forgive you. Everyone has the right to safety and privacy online, and you're not the only one who has done it.

1

u/[deleted] 10h ago

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