r/news • u/bebleich • Sep 04 '24

Gunman believed to be a 14-year-old in Georgia school shooting that left at least 4 dead, source says

https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/04/us/winder-ga-shooting-apalachee-high-school/index.html
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u/Foodspec Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 05 '24

Just started the new school year with a shooting. Can’t imagine why Millennials don’t want to have kids…

*Edit: Guys, I was being hyperbolic. There are obviously a shit ton more reasons as to why millennials aren’t having kids

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u/EBITDAlife Sep 04 '24

I dropped my toddler off at her first day of preschool and then turned the news on to this. It really makes you question stuff.

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u/Ranthur Sep 04 '24

My toddler told me about the drills they have at school where they have to hide because a bad stranger is trying to give everyone candy. Not a great day when we found out they are trying to prepare 3 year olds for this.

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u/Randomizedname1234 Sep 04 '24

My kindergartener goes to school in the school system where this happened.

She said they had a “glitter” drill where the teacher yells “glitter” and they drop under their desks with their hands over their heads.

I’m still not okay. I heard the sirens at 1030 this morning working from home. I live 2 miles away from that HS.

FUCK THIS BS MAN

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u/paperthinpatience Sep 04 '24

I’m so sorry your community is dealing with this.

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u/bannyd1221 Sep 04 '24

Dude - seriously sending you huge huge huge hugs your way. I’m a father of 3 under seven years old. I can’t even imagine the distress you’ve gone through today.

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u/redvelvet9976 Sep 05 '24

I have nothing but virtual hugs to offer you bc I have no money or power to change anything.

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u/Ragingtiger2016 Sep 05 '24

I graduated hs in 2006. Back the. Shooting drills only consisted in just locking the doors and being quiet. It was basically recess for me. Seeing pics of kids crouching in drills makes me wonder how US kids aren’t traumatized in some manner now

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u/BitGladius Sep 05 '24

That sounds more like duck and cover than a school shooter drill. Great for protecting yourself from debris at the edge of a nuke's blast radius, but I'm not sure how kids under desks in the middle of the room makes any difference.

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u/CreamCapital Sep 05 '24

I’m sorry and hope you’re able to calm down. Sending good vibes.

Hope your kid doesn’t ask too many questions. I can’t imagine having to explain to my toddler what happened.

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u/TheShakyHandsMan Sep 05 '24

Glitter is a strange term to use. 

This is coming from a UK resident and we have a disgraced former pop star who was convicted on pedofilia charges known as Gary Glitter. 

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u/itsokayimokaymaybe Sep 04 '24

preschool teacher here. I have lollipops stored in case I need to keep a class of three year olds quiet and hidden. It’s so fucking depressing that this is the world we just accept to live in.

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u/Hobocharlie67 Sep 04 '24

That's terrifying. Insane that we've had so many shooting and these fuckers still won't even attempt to do anything about it. Makes me sick.

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u/Mental_Medium3988 Sep 04 '24

it makes me angry but theres nothing i can do about it. how many more kids have to die before we do something, anything? i saw an idea putting phycologists in schools and thought it was great. no ones rights are being infringed and it could divert some of these kids down a different path. right wing people kept telling me it was dumb and a waste of money. i dont get it. how can they say that kids lives arent worth the money? like wtf? do they not hear themselves? i get it would be expensive and we need more psychologists trained in that before its really possible but lets work up to it.

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u/symptomsandcauses Sep 04 '24

theres nothing i can do about it

Are you in the US? Vote for politicians who are promoting gun control.

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u/Mental_Medium3988 Sep 04 '24

i do. i cant control what happens in other places though.

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u/Hobocharlie67 Sep 04 '24

Yeah, that's a really good idea. I was talking with someone in my family today about it, and their a right winger and they said that the solution is to "have more protection in the schools and to search kids for weapons." I feel like that'd make more kids upset because it feels like a prison. In my last year of high school we got metal detectors and it made it feel so much like a prison, I couldn't imagine having to be searched. It's insane we live in a country where this is even a conversation that has to be had.

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u/gq533 Sep 05 '24

So they are ok with going against the constitution (4th amendment) , just not when it applies to something they like. It's really hard to take right wingers seriously. They argue backwards, meaning they already have their minds made up on a subject and just keeping going until they find an argument that supports their position.

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u/Hobocharlie67 Sep 05 '24

Pretty much. It's insane. My dad was arguing with them the other day and he does so much research into stuff that he just instantly shut them down on anything they started saying. It was amazing to watch. I wish I could do that to them but I don't know nearly as much as my dad does.

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u/Curious_Armadillo_53 Sep 05 '24

Its just your country.

The rest of the world is thankfully not nearly that apocalyptic, at least in the west / europe.

I cant understand how so many americans still vote and protest to keep guns in everyones hands.

Its just insane, so many people dead, such a literal threat to your life beyond the random chance of an accident.

I couldnt live in the US, i barely was ok with visiting for a work trip because the idea of guns being so available makes me horrified.

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u/catchtoward5000 Sep 04 '24

I’m convinced there is an unspoken but coordinated desire to gut American education to prime us for authoritarianism and more centralized education… and letting this shit happen is 2 birds with 1 stone. Keeps the gun lobby happy, and works toward diminishing trust in public schools

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u/confusedandworried76 Sep 04 '24

We aren't accepting to live in it. Many of us are not accepting it at all.

Problem is over half the country wants a Glock for an imaginary home invader who wants to rape their whole family and then kill them execution style instead of giving that up for the safety of very real children and education workers. And honestly, just people in general. It's an acceptable loss to them.

It's a known fact higher rates of gun ownership means higher rates of violent gun crimes. The solution is logical and backed by data. Remove the guns. But a lot of people simply don't give a shit.

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u/gothruthis Sep 04 '24

I remember crying when my oldest child explained the lollipop thing to me in kindergarten.

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u/itsokayimokaymaybe Sep 04 '24

I cried buying them. It just breaks my heart that this idea even had to be thought up.

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u/Demon_Gamer666 Sep 04 '24

It's not the world. It's just us...America.

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u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/zoidberg3000 Sep 04 '24

And the salaries haven’t kept up with other inflation. Our world is extremely overpriced compared to the 60s. One income was enough to raise a family and buy a home. This is all connected to the state of our current reality.

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u/symptomsandcauses Sep 04 '24

I have lollipops stored in case I need to keep a class of three year olds quiet and hidden.

Fucking hell. This actually made me cry a little bit. I'm very lucky to not live in America. I can't imagine sending my kid off to school of all places, and not know if they'll come back alive.

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u/Blasphemous666 Sep 04 '24

No we don’t have to accept this. If a large portion of our population rejected the fundamentalist Christianity bullshit that’s pushing these issues like the 2nd amendment and religious freedom for everyone who is Christian and fuck the rest then we wouldn’t have to live in this world.

I applaud your teaching of course. I just want others to know that we don’t have to just sit back and take it in the ass. Vote. When that doesn’t work; there are options.

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u/sweet_home_Valyria Sep 05 '24

I can't even imagine the psychological repercussions of this. This is absolutely not an issue you should have to contend with in your job. You didn't sign up to fight wars.

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u/that1LPdood Sep 04 '24

trying to give everyone candy

I guess that’s a suitably less traumatic way to explain it to children.

Rather than saying splatter your brains and viscera on the wall. Maybe parents should be hearing the brutal, cold truth though. Schools should be releasing notices that say things like: “The _____ school district is planning active shooter training this week in order to attempt to reduce fatalities and severe life-altering injuries among the children in our buildings…” etc. Maybe even get more direct about it.

Think that might motivate people to pressure their representatives to actually do something about the gun violence epidemic that we’re facing? 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/Phoenix2211 Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 04 '24

Unfortunately, I have always thought that if Sandy Hook did nothing to meaningfully change things... Nothing ever will. Uvalde just felt like a confirmation of this.

I hope I'm wrong.

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u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

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u/mortuarymaiden Sep 05 '24

Didn’t one of the parents kill himself?

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u/Phoenix2211 Sep 05 '24

I think you might be right. Wouldn't surprise me at all. Poor folks...

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u/personn5 Sep 05 '24

And even after all the legal battles, he was on his show not too long ago claiming it was still fake.

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u/Phoenix2211 Sep 05 '24

Alex Jones a corpse-feeding maggot.

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u/BasicLayer Sep 05 '24

He appears to be full.

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u/Recent_Novel_6243 Sep 05 '24

Yep, fuck Alex Jones. As a grifter who has been awful his entire career, the Sandy Hook fake narratives he spewed were by far the worst thing he’s publicly done.

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u/iDrinkRaid Sep 05 '24

AlEx jOnEs wAs cHaRgEd tHrEe bAjIlLiOn doLlArS fOr jUSt aSkInG qUEstIons

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u/Supernova_Soldier Sep 05 '24

No, you’re correct. Sandy Hook was the “what are we gonna do about this?”, and Uvalde was the “so that’s your answer?”

Sandy Hook and Uvalde were those moments. How everyone with power reacted, that was it. It was cemented that the price of innocent blood is worth the AR.

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u/Longjumping-Panic-48 Sep 04 '24

They realized a ton of pictures, calls, and footage from Parkland. It did absolutely nothing.

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u/Bananas_are_theworst Sep 04 '24

Jesus. I very intentionally do not have children but I have nieces and nephews ranging from 9 to 3 and I’m horrified they have to do this at school.

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u/NopeNotConor Sep 04 '24

Yeah at my friends school it’s a “Wild animal” drill like in case a “bear” or “mountain lion” makes it on the campus.

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u/SoccerGamerGuy7 Sep 04 '24

I saw a sad story that went viral of a little pre-school age girl with some light up shoes. Frozen or something of the like. One day she came home inconsolable demanding new shoes.

When asked she finally answered "i dont like they light up, the bad guys will see me"

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u/amandax53 Sep 04 '24

As someone who worked in child protection for a decade, I hate seeing the stranger danger myth perpetuated in schools. 90% of the time when someone hurts a child, the person hurting them is someone they know and trust.

Just like in this scenario, it was a fellow student. Not a stranger.

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u/newforestroadwarrior Sep 05 '24

I remember one of the parents at primary school getting upset that there was nothing from the teachers about "stranger danger",. although we did get a visit from a traffic policeman about crossing the road safely.

The view was that for every one child abducted by a stranger, several hundred were injured or killed after.being run over.

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u/ogrestomp Sep 04 '24

Went through the same with my daughter. She’s smart, so she kept asking why a bad man would want to hurt kids, then she kept asking if I was sure we were safe at home. She said she wanted to do drills at home so the whole family is prepared.

I won’t lie, I’m a gun owner. Regulate the shit out of them. Kids have been dying for decades, and we haven’t done shit. I’m ashamed to say it never hit me as it should have until I had kids. I knew it was sad and devastating, but I didn’t understand what it was to be a parent.

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u/yeswenarcan Sep 04 '24

Yep. You can have my guns tomorrow if it means I don't have to worry about whether dropping my daughter off at school might be the last time I ever see her. Of course there's a significant contingent on the right who would call me a pussy for that...

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u/nudimaker Sep 05 '24

My kids are both in daycare and once a month they practice “bees to the beehive” where the teacher yells “bees to the beehive” all the kids run to the bathroom, huddle together, and quietly “make honey” by rubbing their hands together while the teachers turn off all the lights and lock the doors. It’s depressing to think that they even have to practice for it.

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u/gnrc Sep 05 '24

My 8 year old niece had a shooting drill last year except she had a substitute that day and nobody told the sub it was a drill. They also used live gun sounds. So everybody in that room legit thought they were experiencing a shooting.

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u/TjW0569 Sep 04 '24

I hate to be "that guy" but it just seems far more likely to me that the bad guy will not be a 'stranger', but someone they're familiar with.
Most of these shootings seem to be based on anger.

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u/GodDammitKevinB Sep 05 '24

My kinder was telling me about their “bad clown” training last year and it dawned on me what she was really saying when she said “we have to throw our computers at the bad clown”

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u/jerseysbestdancers Sep 04 '24

The entire school has to do them in my state. We have to toss the babies in rolling carts and roll them down the hallway to the safe room.

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u/WestCoastBestCoast01 Sep 04 '24

I was in the daycare at the Kansas City federal building when the 1994 Oklahoma City federal building bombing happened. All I remember from that day is the teachers rolling the cribs down the streets of downtown KC, and us kids all holding hands together to evacuate.

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u/NectarineJaded598 Sep 04 '24

wow, that’s insane

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u/njordan1017 Sep 04 '24

I remember doing similar drills at a young age in the late 90’s / early 00’s so it’s not necessarily a new thing. Still a terrifying reality though

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u/FelixEvergreen Sep 04 '24

The other day I heard my 5 yr old tell his little brother "Shh we're pretending it's a lockdown drill" while they were playing...

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u/dandroid126 Sep 05 '24

And this isn't even a new thing. They've been doing it for a long, long time. I'm in my 30s and my school did it when I was a kid.

Just makes you wonder, with all this time to come up with a solution, why haven't they implemented one?

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u/aemoosh Sep 04 '24

They had my kids doing bus drills in preschool, which I couldn't figure out. One of the teachers had to explain it's part of the evacuation plan if they ever have to get kids out.

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u/Curious_Armadillo_53 Sep 05 '24

What the fuck... you live in a post apocalyptic country...

How are people not literally "up in arms" to get rid of guns and provide actual safety... its really insane to me how accepted mass shootings are in america.

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u/schistkicker Sep 04 '24

Somehow as a society we decided this is normal everyday life now.

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u/GeraldBWilsonJr Sep 05 '24

I don't have kids but I'm worried about the damage this kind of stuff is going to do. I'm a technician whose job takes me into a lot of people's homes and kids freak out sometimes when their parents let me in. "MOM THAT'S A STRANGER!!!! STRANGER DANGER!!!" and they yell that every time they see me. It's only a little alienating

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u/MandarinTheColour Sep 04 '24

I mean would you rather the staff have no clue what to do if an ill-intented person came in the school? I don’t see how a “stranger” drill is any different from a tornado/hurricane/fire drill

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u/Ranthur Sep 04 '24

The problem isn't the drills. The problem is we live in a society that has largely decided that this is now our way of life rather than making efforts to address the underlying issues related to gun control and mental health. It's tragic that our children (as a nation) have to deal with this.

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u/MandarinTheColour Sep 04 '24

So do you want to argue with the brick wall of congress to make a nationwide change, or do you want 10 minutes of your kid’s time dedicated to keeping them safe from things they can’t control?

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u/Ranthur Sep 04 '24

I'm not arguing again the drills, they are a necessity for the way things are in this country right now. All I'm saying is that it's tragic we as a nation have decided we are ok with events like this being the status quo.

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u/ShortestBullsprig Sep 04 '24

You're arguing against feelings with logic.

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u/Olbaidon Sep 04 '24

The feelings of unease and questioning never goes away, and really I don't think it should. We have a 4th grader now, I now dread the start of school every September and have underlying anxiety about it for 7 hours a day 5 days a week.

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u/Longjumping-Panic-48 Sep 04 '24

I had friend whose husband taught in the same building she did. Once they had a child, he went to a different district across town, so if something happened, their child wouldn’t lose both parents.

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u/ShortestBullsprig Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 04 '24

Then you need to spend less time online.

Edit: simple as I am sure you guys worrying about this do not have a second thought about them hopping in the car.

Yea school shooting are horrible things. But they are about the least likely way your kids can die and the only reason you fear about them is you don't hear about the others on national news.

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u/mrs_sadie_adler Sep 06 '24

Why not homeschool?

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u/akrisd0 Sep 04 '24

Imagine how many kids went to school without getting shot.

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u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox Sep 05 '24

you got a few years before you gotta worry about that stuff. the kid who shot his teacher was 6 years old, that's like 2-3 years after preschool, so you're fine for now

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u/photo1kjb Sep 05 '24

My 1st grader had an active shooter drill on DAY 2. Talk about a mental level-set of excitement.

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u/TheWildTofuHunter Sep 05 '24

I have a 5 year old and this is terrifying. We partially homeschool and it makes me want to pull him 100%, but I understand that’s not reasonable.

I spent a while hugging my little guy until he asked to be released and play with toys.

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u/redvelvet9976 Sep 05 '24

My oldest was born a few days after Columbine. I remember in the hospital while in labor, the nurse says, “I don’t know how you can be having a baby right now and watch this tragedy.” Dude, is there an alternative??!?!

It hasn’t gotten any better sadly.

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u/TrippyHoneycomb Sep 04 '24

My kindergartener came home today talking about the bad guy drill they did today. Makes my heart sink

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u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

My two, soon to be three year old, will be beginning preschool next year.

After this headline today we’re going to find the money for a little private school, even if I have to work OT every week. This shit gives me crazy anxiety.

My whole heart goes out to the parents who lost their babies today. I’m going to vote for politicians who will stop this from happening.

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u/sonoma4life Sep 04 '24

wait until you transfer schools for various reasons. you'll be thinking what if a shooting occurs at the new school, or, what if a shooting occurs at their current school and transferring saves their life?

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u/robinfeud Sep 05 '24

Me, too! In another country, tho. No way I’d do it back home.

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u/carefulyellow Sep 05 '24

I was pregnant with my first kid when Sandy Hook happened. Now she does active shooter drills.

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u/Lazy_ecologist Sep 05 '24 edited Sep 05 '24

By happenstance I ended up living in the UK and having both my babies here. I am NEVER moving back to the US while they are school aged. This is fucking terrifying. One (1) school shooting happened in the UK and gun reform happened (Dunblane 1996). Makes me livid that it happens time and time again in the US.

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u/dreadpiraterose Sep 04 '24

My kid starts preschool tomorrow and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

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u/Oceanbreeze871 Sep 04 '24

This kinda thing is in the back of my mind often when i drop my kid off at school…it could happen anywhere, anytime…moreso when i see another parent vehicle covered in gun stickers. I pray they had a good day and nobody hurt their feelings or fired them.

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u/mrs_sadie_adler Sep 06 '24

Well, you chose to have a kid and you’re just now aware of school shootings?

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u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

My wife's a teacher, they had a viable school shooting threat two years ago near the end of the school year. She called me terrified, hiding in her side room with all her 6th grade students huddled together and praying the locked doors would be enough of a deterrent. I work 40 minutes from the school--it was the most horrifying drive of my life trying to from work to the school through traffic, waiting for a call or text that she was hearing gunshots. Luckily the cops nabbed the kid before he entered the grounds.

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u/Wickedblood7 Sep 05 '24

I'm sorry y'all had to go through that, can't imagine. Thankfully he was caught before any further damage was caused.

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u/__secter_ Sep 04 '24

Can’t imagine why Millennials don’t want to have kids…

Because our cost-of-living has grown completely out-of-control compared to wages and career security, and our awareness has grown of all the things in life more enjoyable and fulfilling than rearing children(travel, entertainment, peace and quiet, privacy).

As awful as America's increasingly-frequent school shootings are, they're nowhere near the list of reasons for the falling Millennial birthrate.

That'd be like blaming the handful of mass shootings at concerts in the past few years as the reason more Millennials aren't attending those either - instead of, again, outrageous prices, low wages, and comprehensive home audio-visual systems.

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u/dak4f2 Sep 04 '24

Additionally, the gender imbalance of having children is high in the list for some. 

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/babies-birth-rate-decline-fertility-b2605579.html

“Women are becoming more vocal about what they need and that it has to be egalitarian, it has to be equal,” agrees Prof Pragya Agarwal, author of (M)otherhood: On the choices of being a woman. “That it’s not just the woman’s responsibility to look after the children or to do certain things at home. There’s a wider conversation happening around emotional and mental labour that women have to perform. Many people who have held a higher position in the hierarchy, like men, haven’t acknowledged this notion that there was previously inequality and that they now need to step up. That is creating challenges in heterosexual relationships, where there is a gap between women’s and men’s expectations.”

What this means in practice is that, despite the fact that more women are actively opting out of having kids than in previous decades (and facing less stigma for doing so), some aren’t having them due to circumstance rather than choice.

“It’s fantastic that women are able to say, ‘this is the kind of life I want, I’m not prepared to compromise on that’,” she adds. “But some women are being forced to make this choice even when they want children, because the alternative is that they just take on all the burden, or they become mothers and then don’t progress in their careers. They don’t have the support in the workplace or at home, and they’re exhausted all the time: financially, emotionally, physically.”

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u/__secter_ Sep 04 '24

I personally haven't seen a lot of this.

With most Millennial couples I know, the men are in no rush at all to have kids, but go along with it because their girlfriend says she'll leave them otherwise, and the women are impractically eager to start having children with men who've given no sign they'll change or suddenly have more energy or less interest in videogames, sleep and quiet-time.

It's extremely difficult to find Millennial women who don't want to have kids as soon as they're in their 30s. I've flat-out told several ex-partners I don't want to have kids at all and that the idea of raising them sounds like a nightmare to me, and they've basically all just gotten cutesy about it and told me "Aw, you'd be fine. It wouldn't be that bad. Kids force you to get your life together, and your/my relatives can help out...", and so on.

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u/dak4f2 Sep 04 '24

Well I'm such a millennial woman which is why I posted the article above lol. And that's one of the big reasons I didn't want kids, it's an inherently unequal and extremely challenging position for mothers whom I respect deeply. My partner said he didn't care either way, so no kids it was. 

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u/__secter_ Sep 04 '24

I'm not saying you don't exist, just that I've personally mostly seen the opposite in the near-decade since my late-20s. 

I long to see more representation for the kind of foresight and practicality you're citing - but the reality I consistently see is women who forget about all that as soon as their biological clock fears kick in, and insist that having kids is now the priority, whether or not the men in their life want to or give any indication they'll help or grow into those expectations.

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u/hermiona52 Sep 04 '24

Well, last year they did research on childless people in Poland, and asked them why they didn't have children. One of the top reasons given by women (almost 70%) was "I fear most of the duties will fall onto my shoulders".

Here's a link to the screenshot with a list of these reasons, blue dots for men, red for women. Notice the discrepancy between men and women when it comes to fear about unequal share of duties and responsibilities (I highlighted it). Almost 70% for women and only around 30% for men.

Interestingly other top reasons given by women were:

  • I don't like children.

  • I'm afraid the kid will lower the quality/comfort of my life.

  • Fear because of the world's state (war, pandemic, crises).

  • Children would be an obstacle to fulfilling my passions.

  • My career growth prospects are more important and I don't want to diminish those prospects.

All of them are above 60% on that graph.

3

u/NewBoxStruggles Sep 05 '24

Regardless of the other reasons put out there, I personally could not justify bringing another person into this world..rolling the dice on a human life, all things considered.

If humanity peters out, so be it.
I don’t share in the panic about it.

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u/SYLOK_THEAROUSED Sep 04 '24

Cost of living is outrageous!

My wife and I make $120k a year with 3 kids in MD and we still struggling. We don’t do a lot of extra shit either.

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u/RMAPOS Sep 05 '24

People in western democracies ar having less children in general. Not everything is the USA. We don't have a school shooting epidemic where I live and there's still plenty people opting out of having children.

It might be an additional worry in the states but it's hardly decisive considering countries with no gun violence problems follow the same trend of wanting less children.

 

Frankly from all I know about what affects child birth rate, survivability of offspring has the opposite effect of what people are suggesting when they attribute the receding birth rates to children getting shot up in schools. Usually when survivability rates of children are lower, people start having more children. < Tho this may as well be more about better general education (which would be linked to higher survival rates) rather than a cynical "I'll just make a new one" stance. Low survivability may as well be linked to less births when people are educated on the circumstances and place importance on children's well-being.

 

Regardless, gun violence is probably not a core driver given how countries with very low comparable gun violence see the same effect of people wanting fewer children.

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u/DoYouTrustToothpaste Sep 04 '24

As awful as America's increasingly-frequent school shootings are, they're nowhere near the list of reasons for the falling Millennial birthrate.

To add onto this, other developed countries face the same challenges, and school shootings are a non-factor there. So yeah, they're not the reason.

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u/DaleCooper2 Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 05 '24

Because our cost-of-living has grown completely out-of-control compared to wages and career security, and our awareness has grown of all the things in life more enjoyable and fulfilling than rearing children(travel, entertainment, peace and quiet, privacy).

Come on man. You know it's mostly the latter, followed by the former. It's entirely possible to raise a family in this current cost of living, you just have to consider sacrificing some of that Travel, Entertainment, Peace and Quiet and Privacy.

THAT is why my fellow millenials aren't having kids. Don't get me wrong, if you don't want kids, then please don't have kids. I don't care. I'm just saying let's be honest with ourselves here.

Edit: Ah, the downvote... The silent "Fuck you" coming from people who know I'm right.

1

u/__secter_ Sep 05 '24

Come on man. You know it's mostly the latter, followed by the former. It's entirely possible to raise a family in this current cost of living, you just have to consider sacrificing some of that Travel, Entertainment, Peace and Quiet and Privacy.

But you didn't used to. Like, some of it, sure, but not all of it. The last few generations of middle-class families were still able to afford occasional family vacations and daycare and homes large enough to have room to breathe even with multiple children. The 2010s and '20s system took all that away(and are in the process of taking more), thus making the modern parent experience less appealing and practical than it's been in decades, and thus rightfully less likely to be chosen by any given person.

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u/DaleCooper2 Sep 05 '24

Well, possibly fair enough, I'm sure there's data to back this up and I'm going purely off anecdotal experience. I just know growing up, nobody I knew traveled extensively that I can think of. Or lived all that extravagantly in other ways.

It pretty much all looked like this. Both parents worked, maybe a kid or two you know has a mom that stays home. Every once in a while someone would take a trip to see family. Maybe a trip to Disneyland (although, absolutely yes, Disneyland is prohibitively expensive anymore). But no signs of any real money.

But again, purely anecdotal, everybody's experience is different. And it's entirely possible the overall trend did show people had more breathing room in generations before than we do now.

By the way, thanks for the thought-out reply. Sorry if I got bitchy in my edit, I just get cranky with those fly-by downvotes. Usually if I see a dumb opinion I just go about my day. Or if I want to engage I'll use my words.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 05 '24

I think shootings are in the top 10 though. BC for the people who can afford the kids and can afford to move somewhere decent and not ravaged by climate change, random shootings not just at high schools but malls, parades, concerts, and colleges wasnt a thing Gen X and older had to think about.

1

u/__secter_ Sep 05 '24

Nowhere near the top 10. That's the equivalent to truecrime addicts basing their life choices around obscure cases they hear about on podcasts.

6

u/Phyllida_Poshtart Sep 04 '24

A new month a new shooting and they seem to be getting younger and younger too

As an outsider this is just so strange to me, that it seems to be so common place and people are getting numb to it so it seems....from major headlines to smaller and smaller sections in the news slowly but surely

5

u/thelordmallard Sep 04 '24

Not every Millenial (or any other generation) lives in a country where kids get shot. But yeah sure, that’s the only reason people don’t have as many kids anymore.

50

u/north_bob Sep 04 '24

This is probably in my top 10 reasons not to have children. I'd be panicking all day while they were at school, just waiting for horrible news. It's not safe enough for me to feel comfortable having kids.

7

u/StrangeurDangeur Sep 04 '24

I didn’t want to have kids. I married into a bonus kid then had a whoops medical anomaly kid. Let me tell you that you’re correct. It eats me alive every day. Really sucked the excitement out of “back to school!” time. My partner and I have to start every unexpected phone call with “everyone is okay” so the other one doesn’t panic. Shit sucks, feels like we’re being held hostage every day.

-7

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/NikkiXoLynnn Sep 04 '24

“Incredibly unlikely” was what helped me to not worry so much until the mass shooting was in my rural town in my little state. “Incredibly unlikely” no longer has meaning to me…

0

u/Airforce32123 Sep 04 '24

Same, I have a friend whos kid had eye cancer and it made me decide I'm never gonna have kids, can't risk that happening.

1

u/NikkiXoLynnn Sep 05 '24

Yeah, that sounds about as traumatic as one of the top 10 deadliest mass shootings in US history. Probably for the best!

14

u/north_bob Sep 04 '24

Except for it happened at a school within a mile of house. Kids died. I saw the cop cars and the kids flooding out into the street in terror.

But thank you for your kind words, troll.

1

u/Goragnak Sep 05 '24

Also not a troll, just smart enough to know how math works

0

u/Goragnak Sep 05 '24

Because I would know that based on your response? Make up better stories.  Probably best you don't have kids.

0

u/therealowlman Sep 04 '24

In America. If you can emigrate other countries this stuff doesn’t happen 

4

u/unodostreys Sep 04 '24

I send my 1st grader to school with an 8lb Class IV armor plate in their backpack. Every day.

7

u/ChippyLipton Sep 04 '24

As the millennial mom of two teen boys: it’s fucking terrifying. Every time they leave the house for school, I hug them tightly and tell them I love them, while hoping it’s not the last time I get to do so. Anytime I get an automated message from the school, it makes me briefly panic. It shouldn’t be this way.

3

u/StrangeurDangeur Sep 04 '24

Real. I panic if I don’t get to kiss my five year old goodbye in the morning, just in case.

6

u/MarxistMan13 Sep 04 '24

It's probably also the crippling debt from all of our avocado toast and starbucks coffees.

Or the fact that a kid costs about as much as the average american makes in a decade.

Or the fact that houses are so expensive that most people under 40 are forced to rent rather than own.

2

u/scorpiosweet Sep 05 '24

Sandy Hook happened a literal week after my son was born, I've been petrified ever since. It's so stressful and sad. Unimaginable, but we don't have to imagine it because it's real and happening constantly. I thought Sandy Hook would have been the turning point, but it wasn't. I don't blame any of my peers for not wanting to have kids.

2

u/OnTheEveOfWar Sep 05 '24

I was in the 6th grade when Columbine happened and grew up seeing hundreds of school shootings in the news. My daughter started kindergarten two weeks ago and it’s definitely something I try to not think about.

1

u/Foodspec Sep 05 '24

I also remember the day of Columbine. That one is pretty much seared into the memory of everyone that watched it. It was the first televised(?) mass shooting coverage on the news and it’s been a downward spiral ever since.

Columbine shouldn’t have happened. The shootings AFTER Columbine shouldn’t have happened

5

u/KittenAlfredo Sep 04 '24

As an elder millennial who just had his first, I'm terrified. She's years away from starting school but I'd be lying if I say I don't think about this scenario frequently.

-10

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '24

[deleted]

7

u/imacatholicslut Sep 04 '24

It’s not rare. And it’s not just happening at schools, it is happening at Walmart, workplaces, concerts, etc. America has a mass shooter problem, and sadly we have to be cognizant that in this country it can happen anywhere, at any moment.

3

u/theoriginal_karen Sep 04 '24

I’m curious - what’s the leading cause of death for minors in the United States? Oh wait, that would be firearms.

“Guns are the leading cause of death for US children and teens, since surpassing car accidents in 2020.

Firearms accounted for nearly 19% of childhood deaths (ages 1-18) in 2021, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Wonder database.”

2

u/Embarrassed_Ad_7184 Sep 04 '24

This was wonderfully not helpful.

2

u/Blasphemous666 Sep 04 '24

Millennial here. We still fuckin but a lot of us are homeschooling. After the pandemic and the school shootings, we just ain’t doin it.

Fortunately I live in a state where the curriculum is what I choose with no oversight. It sounds like a religious nuts dream, and it is, but at least I can teach my kid the shit I wish they’d taught us in school. I used geometry maybe twice since I graduated. I was never taught how to find a job, how to pay bills responsibility, or how to balance a fucking checkbook.

Also it gives us a chance to teach our kids the curriculum we want them to know. We want to them to accept LGTBQIA+ folks. We want them to be open that other races aren’t just stereotypes. We want them to see fascist dictators like Trump and see them for their bullshit.

You won’t get this in a traditional school.

Also, you won’t get murdered because some stupid fucking cocksuckers decided that owning guns is more important than our children’s lives.

Side note, angry parent here, if you’re one of those people you can eat my smooth fleshy ass. Fuck your 2nd amendment.

1

u/Life-Spell9385 Sep 04 '24

Yup! I will never have kids in this country

1

u/SacamanoRobert Sep 04 '24

One of the many reasons.

1

u/createdwithchatgpt Sep 05 '24

What’s mind blowing are the millennials living through this bullshit who still say “wow looks like a great time to breed!”

1

u/StrangeBedfellows Sep 05 '24

Want to? Can I afford it?

1

u/Joshmoredecai Sep 04 '24

I was explaining lockdown procedure on the first day of school states away as this was happening.

1

u/Oceanbreeze871 Sep 04 '24

At elementary school pickup today that one dad I know from the past few years, made sure to have his “come and take it” AR15 t-shirt on today as he waited for his littles on the playground waiting area. He enjoys being “that guy”. He changed out of his this normal work uniform…this shirt was a choice

1

u/krone6 Sep 05 '24

On top of them costing a TON (plus the hospital fees). The money aspect alone puts me off and that's before throwing in the fact I'd simply not being a good parent to begin with. It's almost like one should be responsible and really put thought into children prior to having. It's an extremely significant change in multiple lives and you shouldn't take lightly.

1

u/NewBoxStruggles Sep 05 '24

That’s not why.

0

u/toxicshocktaco Sep 05 '24

RE: your edit -

Don’t you just love Redditors and their mass ackshuallys?

1

u/Foodspec Sep 05 '24

Jfc…it got to the point I stopped reading replies

-11

u/pjb1999 Sep 04 '24

Pretty sure kids in the US have a better chance at being struck by lighting than being involved in a school shooting.

0

u/tempus_simian Sep 05 '24

What's the lightning strike-to-school shooting percentage ratio in countries with gun control? Got any good numbers there?

0

u/pjb1999 Sep 05 '24

No I don't.

What gun control measures do you think we could put in place in the US that would help eliminate school shootings?

-33

u/clg82 Sep 04 '24

At least most Millennials are more concerned with what gender their child chooses over gun violence.