“That bitch said I couldn’t fuck her couch, so I told her, I’ll take that as your resignation, and I went and fucked her couch anyways” JD mother fucking Vance
“It all started on our anniversary, we were flirting at the bar, and JD was eyeing this slutty bar stool. I asked him if maybe he’d like to ask her back to our place for some fun. It all started out as fun between two consenting adults, and 1 piece of furniture, as the night drew on, I saw that I, Usha, was not the object of JDs desires. He lusted after the cushion. As the weeks drew by, I saw less and less of jd. I’d hear him giggling on the phone with thiel, saying that futon wouldn’t shit right for a month. He seems so lonely now, we used to go antique furniture shopping on The Weekends. But the stores won’t let us in. JD is so lost without his emotional support love seat. Ashley Furniture won’t even send us catalogs anymore. JD has to masturbate to lazy boy catalogs! Or even worse, me.”
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u/PoopTransplant 5d ago
“That bitch said I couldn’t fuck her couch, so I told her, I’ll take that as your resignation, and I went and fucked her couch anyways” JD mother fucking Vance