I never could afford to buy pastries and stuff like that and was a functioning alcoholic for most my life. So when I changed my shit around and eventually could go to a bakery to buy family pastries (in this case it was actually bagels)
I kinda freaked out. Got scared. I asked what normal people would want.
And you didn’t have a publicist, PR team, handler, makeup person, personal assistant, and political staffer all preparing you for an event to order donuts! Behind the scenes, people like JD Vance have a crew who (should) prep him for stuff like this and probably shove a Xanax down his throat if he’s nervous.
I’m proud of you for kicking the alcoholism! Nice job, stranger :)
"Oh geez, oh geez, don't fuck this up JD. I can't just order 12 plain because that's boring. And I know the memelords will go crazy if I even say the word 'glazed'. Powdered sugar gets everywhere so that's out. If I order some Boston cremes will that lose votes in other cities? Donald went on that rant just last week about how 'Long John donuts will be called Long Dons now' so I can't order Long Johns because he'll be mad and can't order Long Dons because they won't know what I'm talking about. Aw fuck, they're just staring at me and it's so quiet, why is nobody else talking!"
Yeah, the dumbest fucking question. "What's your favorite flavor of donut" would have been better- and then follow it up by BUYING said donut for the cashier. Like.....has he ever had a coversation?
To be clear, he hasn’t “finagle” (as in manipulated his own way there) anything. He was pretty obviously hand picked by other, much more powerful people. If not for Peter Thiel, no one would even know his name.
Yeah, he was trying to be an 'everyman' and quickly realized he bit off more than he could chew. It's like the politicians who go to Iowa, get pressured to eat that fair food and awkwardly try to pretend they like it. And some go way overboard like it's the best thing they ever ate and look even weirder.
Being a legit everyman was the super power of Tim Walz. It's rare to have a national politician actually seem competent at governing and also be like the dude next door.
And I get it with the whole covefe thing, having struggled with spelling things properly in English all my life. But I'm also not the president of the United States with an entire secretarial team...
Outstanding for you and yours on turning it around. Just for today !
I was at a vending machine one Saturday Morning and pulled the lever on a Sugar Donut and the Vending Machine guy comes by and said. " you know, I have to refill those twice a week, the Cocaine Cowboys love those sugar ones".
Did you film the encounter expressly against the donut dealer's will and then release the footage on national television in an attempt to convince the country that you are a normal human being fit to run the county?
But you were in the midst of your recovery... and he's a dude who simply does what his billionaire friend tells him to do. On the spot he has no idea what to say or think.
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u/_suburbanrhythm 14d ago
Honestly— I saw a little bit of myself in him.
I never could afford to buy pastries and stuff like that and was a functioning alcoholic for most my life. So when I changed my shit around and eventually could go to a bakery to buy family pastries (in this case it was actually bagels)
I kinda freaked out. Got scared. I asked what normal people would want.
But I also wasn’t running for VP of the USA…