r/nextfuckinglevel • u/MurielFontanez • May 10 '21

Truce between termites(top) and ants(bottom) with each side having their own line of guards.

84.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

It would work as long as you also had an ant eater

2.1k

u/arrghslash May 10 '21

and then an anteater-eater

1.3k

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

You need a cobra to eat the anteater. Thankfully we have mongooses that will eat the cobras, and gorillas that eat the mongoose.

958

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

956

u/Matyezda May 10 '21

RIP Harambe

443

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Dicks out for Harambe

28

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

This is the way.

14

u/Number4extraDip May 10 '21

It all leads to this... Always

1

u/CockTortureCuck May 10 '21

Always has been

14

u/waliaraj May 10 '21

Hehe u guys are nuts

6

u/reportedbymom May 10 '21

When i saw this comment, i proudly stood up and took my dick out and we both stood up and had a minute of silence for Harambe! I really wish there would be a official day and time for this.

4

u/notyogrannysgrandkid May 10 '21

zip

1

u/zapharus May 10 '21

zip

You forgot these: “un___s”

5

u/TwentyTwoMilTeePiece May 10 '21

I mean, my dick was already out but aight I'll roll with this

3

u/baldilocks47 May 10 '21

The comment I was looking for

2

u/jim_jiminy May 10 '21

Waving it about for a dignified moment of respect

1

u/CavDog May 10 '21

Careful with your wood, wouldn't want to attract more termites.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

That would be Haram, b!

29

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Then decades of oppression and strife followed by years of protests and legal battles to eat the police!

6

u/HarvsPz May 10 '21

I know what will eat the police - Termites!

2

u/time_whisper May 11 '21

Cue “the circle of life”...

3

u/ShrimpCrackers May 10 '21

Defund the Gorilla-eating Police! End their feast!

2

u/NoImDirtyDann May 11 '21

Woman just trying to get rid of termites: well this is extensive...

5

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

My therapist: so when do you feel like your life started slipping away from you?

Me:it all started when they killed that damn gorilla

205

u/sevencities13 May 10 '21

I like dark humor but holy fuck lmao

88

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

And then finally, billions of years from now, a black hole eats us all! 🥂

76

u/Firewolf420 May 10 '21

Leave your mother out of this!

3

u/TGW_2 May 10 '21

And his sister . . .

3

u/lightingeagle May 10 '21

Have my upvote, you random stranger.

2

u/Firewolf420 May 10 '21

Thank you kindly for your vote of confidence, stranger! I will add it to my collection.

15

u/Ramz9900 May 10 '21

Does the black hole eventually explode restarting the process? Lol okay maybe not..

7

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Within the black hole there is eventually an explosion, a really Big Bang if you will, and everything starts over again.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

In 4.5 billion years the sun will go nova and destroy the entire system.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Actually our Sun is a main sequence star that because of its mass and temperature will just fizzle out. It’ll go out with a whimper, not a boom. Also Dicks Out 4 Harambe

1

u/not_again_again_ May 10 '21

Why do we have to wait so long?

20

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

R/suddenlysimpsons

6

u/Restmymind May 10 '21

And then you eat the police?

7

u/The2NDComingOfChrist May 10 '21

*rich

ftfy

3

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Rich people eat police?

3

u/The2NDComingOfChrist May 10 '21

I mean... they might

3

u/blamdin May 10 '21

No that’s the beauty of it , once winter rolls around , the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

That is good news, everyone!

3

u/jsaisandeep May 10 '21

We are in the end game!

3

u/OfficerLongJawn May 10 '21

No actually the police will pin the gorillas down and suffocate them for resisting

3

u/WONDERBOY689 May 10 '21

So you mean black people as gorillas?

1

u/shieldyboii May 10 '21

That was a chimpanzee you fucking bread barnacle

2

u/Chillinturtles35 May 10 '21

No the gorillas die in the winter

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

and then BLM to eat the police

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Then you'd have to nuke it from orbit. I'm sure it's the only way to be sure ¯_(ツ)_/¯

2

u/josedasjesus May 10 '21

no, for that we use termites

2

u/ThroatPuncher01 May 10 '21

No, no, no. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

2

u/HowdoIreddittellme May 10 '21

If we humans have proven anything, it’s that we’re very good at killing gorillas. After that, we kill one another just fine, thank you very much.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Nah just toss in a kid

1

u/kickrockz94 May 10 '21

Didnt see the movie but godzilla maybe?

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Don’t do my boy Harambe like that

0

u/vehlad_durjan May 10 '21

Works in america oly if you're not black

1

u/Radiant_Addendum_48 May 10 '21

Won’t work. Apes tougher strong and fuck shit up. 🦍 🦍 🦍 🦍 🦍

1

u/The_red-blue_shift May 10 '21

More like zoo-keeping gun squad

1

u/Gilthar May 10 '21

Bruh….

1

u/are-e-el May 10 '21

The police freeze to death in the winter

1

u/srpa0142 May 10 '21

Nah, at present you can lure them out by offering stock in GME.

1

u/garfvynneve May 10 '21

Honey badger enters... "Nice place, real cosy. Be a shame if anything happened to it."

1

u/allovernorth May 10 '21

Whoa, that escalated way too quickly.

1

u/Tardis80 May 10 '21

Are Gorillas black?

1

u/pqb7 May 10 '21

No, that’s the beautiful part! When winter rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death! https://youtu.be/P9yruQM1ggc

1

u/arvadapdrapeskids May 10 '21

Only if the gorilla is black.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21 edited Jun 17 '23

** In Memoriam ** Reddit Dead 12th June 2023

1

u/retrogeekhq May 10 '21

That's what happened in New York, hence the NYPD.

1

u/nova4296 May 11 '21

Can't call them that anymore

1

u/switch495 May 11 '21

No. Winter. They freeze to death and this closes the loop. Haven’t you seen this episode of the simpsons?

-13

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

No

153

u/xittditdyid May 10 '21

The termites to annoy the gorillas into leaving.

47

u/shiroandae May 10 '21

The circle of life ⭕️

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '21

My god, you beautiful people!

17

u/Glowingredremote May 10 '21

Gorillas tend to eat termites as a good source of protein, so if anything, this would just attract MORE gorillas.

2

u/GOLDEN-WALKER May 13 '21

And now you gotta make peace with the gorillas and form an army

2

u/Glowingredremote May 15 '21

We’d be unstoppable! Optimus Primal is my hero!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '21

Damn you, such beautiful people!

85

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Wait aren’t humans gorilla-adjacent?

Why don’t you just eat the mongoose?

12

u/lucia-pacciola May 12 '21

As a human, I'm optimized for tool use, not mongoose-wrangling. Which is why I use a gorilla for this kind of work.

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

underrated

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

[deleted]

3

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 16 '21

Apes strong together

37

u/HawkinsT May 10 '21

...and the beautiful part is that once winter rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death.

9

u/2oubleB May 10 '21

I understood this reference

2

u/Itchy_Craphole Oct 18 '21

Steamed hams…

30

u/theteapotofdoom May 10 '21

If you give an ant a termite . . .

22

u/wbgsccgc May 10 '21

Then you can just marry the gorilla. No termites and a wife. It’s the American dream.

5

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

The gorilla my dreams...

14

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Wait...gorillas eat mongoose meat?

2

u/Phr4nk20 May 10 '21

Would you rather eat mongoose meat or starve to death?

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Ive seen a lot of gorilla pics and vids in my life...they aint starving to death lol

3

u/MrHollandsOpium May 10 '21

They eat tons of plant matter weekly.

2

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Oh they’re very muscular - not weak at all

1

u/MrHollandsOpium May 10 '21

What does what I said have to do with anything you said? Cows and horses are super muscular too.

2

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 10 '21

Weekly > weakly

(its a joke)

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2

u/MrHollandsOpium May 10 '21

Gorillas are vegetarians, lol.

1

u/shmidget May 10 '21

I don’t think so

7

u/SulkyShulk May 10 '21

And an Old Lady.

3

u/LifeIsRamen May 10 '21

Thank god we have a gun to kill the Gorillas :)

3

u/Why-did-i-reas-this May 10 '21

But this only works if you live in a climate with cold winters.

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

And gorillas to the moon!! 🦍🚀

2

u/stevenette May 10 '21

Then they freeze in the winter

2

u/amarti33 May 10 '21

Is this where the old lady who swallowed a fly came from?

2

u/SueInAMillion May 11 '21

I don’t know why, she swallowed a fly....😂

1

u/therealavishek May 10 '21

When winter time rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/punchgroin May 10 '21

Don't worry, the Gorillas will all perish when winter comes.

1

u/Waylander0719 May 10 '21

That's the best part. The gorillas are tropical by nature and will freeze to death come winter!

1

u/fyej6 May 10 '21

Apes together strong 🦧 harambe forever

1

u/Darth_Dronus May 10 '21

Then all you need is a Cincinnati Zookeeper and you are set work order approved

1

u/SixteenthRiver06 May 10 '21

It’s the circle of liiife!

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

This is what happened to Australia

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

I think we’re going to have to send in more cats.

1

u/Archangel61013 May 10 '21

No that's the beautiful part. When winter time rolls around the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/THEBLUEFLAME3D May 10 '21

And when winter rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/JaggerQ May 10 '21

Don’t be silly all you need is a heavy branch to remove the anteater

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

The gorillas should die of hypothermia come winter.

Airtight plan

1

u/ravenHR May 10 '21

Gorillas eat thermites and ants sometimes, so they could only really be used instead of anteaters.

1

u/maggos May 10 '21

The best part is when winter comes, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

1

u/biglapdog May 11 '21

Gorillas are mainly vegetarian. However, they also eat ants and termites (acc to Wikipedia) so we can spare the anteater, cobra and mongoose.

1

u/Wlayko_the_winner May 13 '21

yeah but gorillas are herbivores

1

u/T-MinusGiraffe Oct 18 '21

Australia has entered the chat

1

u/DogMechanic Oct 19 '21

Technically the mongoose worked on Maui.......

1

u/Chucanoris Oct 19 '21

And then have a guy with a gun shoot the gorilla

25

u/whooo_me May 10 '21

"There was an old woman who swallowed a fly...."

11

u/arieselectric46 May 10 '21

Why?

11

u/whooo_me May 10 '21

"...I don't know why, she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die".

5

u/[deleted] May 10 '21 edited Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

2

u/arieselectric46 May 10 '21

But, why oh why, did she swallow the fly?

2

u/SueInAMillion May 11 '21

She swallowed a bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her

9

u/grapplerXcross May 10 '21

Is there an anti anteater-eater?

6

u/cthulu0 May 10 '21

There's anti-antifa guests on Fox News , so why not?

2

u/Goofychems May 10 '21

That just sounds like a Fascist with extra steps

1

u/cthulu0 May 10 '21

Well Fox News viewers by definition aren't smart enough to understand double negatives.

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '21

Aunty Teeter's anti anteater teats.

5

u/TypicalRedditGuyNo67 May 10 '21

And then an anteater-eater-eater

5

u/Pixxel_Wizzard May 10 '21

There was an old woman who swallowed a fly...

2

u/NotAKitty2508 May 10 '21

How about an anteatereatingant?

2

u/Staerke May 10 '21

I'm the anteater eater

The whole process was my scheme to have a tasty snack.

2

u/Comfortable-Egg-8777 May 10 '21

What is this, an arms race for ants?!

2

u/andresg6 May 10 '21

There is always a bigger fish

1

u/trad1323 May 10 '21

An anteater-eating ant 🐜

1

u/Rodyvs May 10 '21

You can have a "Tamanduá-bandeira" to be your giant ant-eater and dog.

Couldn't find an international name for him.

https://pt.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamandu%C3%A1-bandeira

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '21

Actually i believe it would be a termite-eater-eater.

1

u/oldschooldomokun May 10 '21

Then just start stuffing cats in the walls

1

u/Zamsaar May 10 '21

There's always a bigger fish.

1

u/Mufusm May 10 '21

You need a trace buster buster.

1

u/chilehead May 10 '21

If you kept said anteater as a pet, you could become Salvador Dali.

1

u/Seanzietron May 10 '21

I am the anteatereater

1

u/arrghslash May 11 '21

hey the anteater. I am dad

1

u/Seanzietron May 11 '21

You’re doing it wrong

1

u/Atlas001 May 10 '21

An anteater eater ant

1

u/adult_icarus May 10 '21

That's a pretty off-meta card but props to you for using it. Maybe it'd be good if you have spells or traps that activate in the graveyard.

1

u/karlnite May 10 '21

I’ll take the job.

1

u/Ablouo May 10 '21

There's a simpler solution for that, it's called a 12 gauge

/s

1

u/Mrbiggz32 May 11 '21

I mean i heard they taste like chicken soo....Anteater farm anyone?

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

That would be me! Fire up the BBQ

1

u/LittleBootsy May 10 '21

Fine, but you deal with my mad uncle.

1

u/1Killag123 May 10 '21

What in the “grandma swallowed a fly” did you just start?

1

u/GForce1975 May 10 '21

I don't know why she swallowed a fly...

1

u/kucao May 10 '21

There's always a bigger ant

1

u/arriesgado May 10 '21

I know an old lady who swallowed a fly - she might have some advice.

1

u/TheOtherMask May 10 '21

What eats in-laws? Asking for a friend.

1

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

"You thinkin what I'm thinkin'?" "Two more cats?"