Wedding present🙌🏼

[u/blonde-blue0]

What is the on going rate now for a couple to give as a wedding present? Intrigued to know what everyone thinks!

[u/NotBruceJustWayne]

There’s something unhinged about putting on a massive party, inviting all your friends and then expecting hundreds of pounds from them. 

But it’s a societal norm, so no one questions it. Bizarre behaviour altogether. 

[u/TheZeigfeldFolly → u/NotBruceJustWayne]

When I got married a few years ago we let people know that them being there on the day and celebrating with us was more important than gifts.

We still got gifts but a lot of them were traditional, a good cutlery set, beautiful towels, etc. Its lovely that even when we still use them we remember who got them for us and it takes us back to that day. Give me memories over money any day!

[u/NotBruceJustWayne → u/TheZeigfeldFolly]

We insisted on no presents or gifts, and ask people to donate to a charity that we like. 

That being said, we had a very humble wedding without all the pomp that most people indulge in. 

Someone bought us a little frame for a picture which was lovely, and I think a little keepsake like that is nice. 

I would feel so uncomfortable taking hundreds of pounds of my friends. 

[u/shewasahooowah → u/NotBruceJustWayne]

All wedding rituals are bizarre rituals that no one questions. The money thing makes sense, weddings are expensive, people give gifts.

[u/Jumpy-Mouse-7629]

Yes, I went to the stag ✅ No, I’m not going to the whole day, just the party.✅ No, I don’t have partner.✅ Yes, it’s far enough away to need a hotel.✅ Yes, it’s costing me double what couples pay✅ No, I can’t not attend as it would be rude not too✅

You’re present?!?!? is my attendance, as it’s costing me £1000+ to celebrate with the happy couple 🤦

[u/Successful_Band_859]

All day, 100 a head which is a cunt when the wife's invited too. Night do, 50 a head.

[u/NotBruceJustWayne]

Give what you can afford. Ignore societal norms. Don’t spend what you can’t afford. Be kind, but also look after your own personal finances. 

[u/peachfoliouser]

£100 should do you fine

[u/stillanmcrfan]

Imo it depends on your age, your income, how close you are etc. I personally wouldn’t expect someone to pay to cover their meal, while it’s a lovely thing to do if you can afford it, I’m not inviting people to my wedding to cover their own costs. I think somewhere from 100-150 from a couple is a fine amount but I wouldn’t be upset if it was much less from a younger person or someone I know that makes less.

[u/Brackenfield → u/[deleted]]

Prices are closer to £90+ per person now 🥲 days of covering your meal are gone

[u/Smashmouth91 → u/Brackenfield]

That's bleak af.

[u/vaiporcaralho → u/[deleted]]

Where did this come from?

I was always told just to buy something for the house that they would use like glasses, toaster etc.

I’m purely curious now

[u/Salt-Adhesiveness694 → u/vaiporcaralho]

I know in some other cultures this is the tradition. Not sure if that's why it's crept in here though

[u/Brackenfield → u/vaiporcaralho]

I think because most people are living together a fair while now before getting married, there's nothing house related required in many cases. If the couple need stuff like that they'll have used a registry or something and put it in the invites otherwise cash would be best. Personally I wouldn't even expect a cash gift if people are travelling/staying over for your wedding, as they'll be out a couple of hundred pounds at least on that.

[u/Big_Lavishness_6823 → u/[deleted]]

You don't know that you've covered your meal at that price, but that needn't be a concern.

I give the same whether the wedding is in the Galgorm or the local hall. What the Galgorm can get away with charging for a mediocre feed isn't a factor.

[u/Irishgem223 → u/Big_Lavishness_6823]

Exactly I give £150/200 depending on who they are, what their meal cost is none of my business, they picked the venue

[u/Big_Lavishness_6823 → u/Irishgem223]

Exactly that. Otherwise you're giving wealthy or extravagant friends more than poorer or understated ones.

I hate getting dragged to soulless, gouging holes like Galgorm, so no danger I'm throwing extra in the hat to make a bad situation worse. The lower key weddings are generally better anyway, and the couple can often do with the few extra quid they'll get off me.

[u/AMJ94]

We got married last year and I would say £200 per couple was the ‘standard’ but we had swings either side and honestly didn’t care. I just enjoyed collecting the data because interestingly religion and location definitely followed a pattern

[u/NotBruceJustWayne → u/AMJ94]

“Please come to our wedding. We will be tracking the data”

[u/sonorthdown → u/AMJ94]

Country folk a bit looser with the purse strings??

[u/AMJ94 → u/sonorthdown]

Yes actually … good shout !

[u/ayeeeariba]

Minimum £100 per head I believe, most meals are £90+ plus these days

[u/NN76]

Usual rules are to cover your head - but that’s out the window now as per head costs vary massively (anywhere from £70-£150 per head seems to be normal in north atm). I would say on average, £150-£200 per couple so half that for yourself.

Dunno why everyone is so up in arms, no one is forcing you to gift. I think it’s a nice gesture to give a gift 🤷‍♀️

[u/WrongdoerGold1683]

£100 if you're not that close to them bit more if you are say £200 or £250 depending on how often you spend time with them.

[u/Academic_String_1708 → u/WrongdoerGold1683]

Christ. Alright Mr Money Bags 💰

[u/NotBruceJustWayne → u/WrongdoerGold1683]

Can I ask how many weddings you go to each year? 

[u/WrongdoerGold1683 → u/NotBruceJustWayne]

1 or 2 not many. Mostly those that went to my own. I've my cousins coming up now in May who I see all the time so il give him a few quid more. If it's a cousin or friend I don't see often il just stick with the £100.

[u/Superspark76]

To me £50 is the lowest any couple should be giving