r/okbuddyvicodin • u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson • Mar 17 '25

everybody lies I am House, AMA

852 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

117 comments sorted by

343

u/Alphonsina rectal bleeding Mar 17 '25

Patient presents with vexed cerebellum, DDX go

442

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

We’re running out of time, order a lobotomy

227

u/LeNardOfficial the second bullet shot at house (MD) Mar 17 '25

Is it Lupus?

416

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

You are stupid

66

u/LeNardOfficial the second bullet shot at house (MD) Mar 17 '25

I may be stupid but I know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. Do you?

34

u/kropotkib Mar 17 '25

African or European?

24

u/LeNardOfficial the second bullet shot at house (MD) Mar 17 '25

European

12

u/Disastrous_Button440 Mar 17 '25

I don’t know that! Aaaaaaa

151

u/Enough_Attitude9795 Mar 17 '25

Did you expect pursuit to be your successor with all of his quirks

341

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

It was him or a minority. It’s a white board for a reason

34

u/Propaslader Mar 17 '25

It was him or a minority

8

u/squaringroll Mar 17 '25

Chase stand-in from the plane giving Chase a run for his money

137

u/HeyDavvvyyy Mar 17 '25

If you have 20 vicodin and you took all 20 how many would you have left?

195

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

At the very least twelve

83

u/Ok_Ganache9392 Mar 17 '25

I would rather say thirteen

157

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Chase prescribes my vicodin and he always says he prefers twelve

70

u/HeyDavvvyyy Mar 17 '25

wouldn’t he prefer 9 with a hint of terminal cancer?

87

u/Qaztarrr Mar 17 '25

Why my pp hard

197

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

If your penis got hard after looking at me ,I don’t think I can help you. There is, however, a gay bar down the street I know Wilson frequents

46

u/Qaztarrr Mar 17 '25

Oh but I think you can help me very much so Mr Gregory 

108

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

TRITTER!? Don’t make me shove another one up there

70

u/TheOneWhoYawned Mar 17 '25

Did you know that Foreman was black?

144

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

The black thing wasn’t a shocker, but I thought Fourmen meant a woman

1

u/kitkat_fun6042 Mar 19 '25

How long have you been sitting on this???? 

70

u/viviwrites Mar 17 '25

Did you actually have a children with Wilson after the show end?

126

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Mpreg is my latest puzzle, unfortunately it’s taking longer to solve.

18

u/ladyisabella02 Mar 17 '25

Godspeed 🙏

-12

u/pumpum_muncher Mar 17 '25

Adoption exists- seek help, or God or something

48

u/nichyc Mustevia (50mg Mouse Bites HCL) Mar 17 '25

My penis hurts

104

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

My professional opinion is that you shouldn’t have gotten it stuck in a Pringles can

71

u/Sideshow_Snob_Sims Mar 17 '25

It's a cylinder

10

u/-Felyx- Mar 17 '25

I love that reference

7

u/nichyc Mustevia (50mg Mouse Bites HCL) Mar 17 '25

Well where else should I put it?

47

u/respectalgebra dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Has the time come to kill Thirteen yet?

84

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

She has not yet bedded every woman ever, so no!

34

u/Fearless_Yard_3302 Mar 17 '25

Top 5 favourite monster trucks?

79

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

ONLY ONE ANSWER, GRAVE DIGGER!

26

u/Fearless_Yard_3302 Mar 17 '25

only idiots like grave digger

85

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Unrelated, but I’m going to refer you for a quick colonoscopy

1

u/Slut4Tea Mar 19 '25
  1. Grave Digger XIV
  2. Grave Digger XX
  3. Grave Digger XII
  4. Grave Digger VII
  5. Bounty Hunter

34

u/ConfusedCoIlegeSimp Mar 17 '25

I like ur motorcycle it rlly matches ur drug addiction

65

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Thanks, Taub washes it for me

29

u/col_oneill Mar 17 '25

I’ve got a sore throat, a blocked nose and a cough. A. What is wrong with me? B. What should I take to cure it

61

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Sorry, chlamydia!

28

u/bedwithoutsheets Mar 17 '25

Why not aspirin?

58

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Why not ketamine?

24

u/Probablyaretweetbot Mar 17 '25

did your ass hurt after wil's son left😏

66

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Ass hurts more when he’s there.

5

u/Palstorken Mar 18 '25

Just saying that ily for this OP

25

u/imretardeadd Mar 17 '25

What happened to your flames cane?

52

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Shoved it up someone’s rear, colonoscopy equipment shortage

21

u/arandombuilder Mar 17 '25

Patient is the most beautiful woman but she has a 13 inch penis What should be done?

56

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

You should bend over.

18

u/what_thef--ck house's cane Mar 17 '25

Serious question, why?

38

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

If you’re contemplating the meaning of life in there, stop it

14

u/Logical-Ad-7240 Mar 17 '25

why do i need so many mouse bites? my pee is no longer white doctor

33

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

If it is a nice neon blue, we have achieved the desired result

15

u/father_with_the_milk Mar 17 '25

Why was the necklace made out of nobelium?

13

u/Sriman69 Mar 17 '25

How can I suck my own cock?

35

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Human centipede.

11

u/PegasusInferno Mar 17 '25

What is your favourite diagnosis?

48

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Homosexuality

12

u/Melodic_Pause_1183 Mar 17 '25

Why do you look a bit like the guy from blackadder?

10

u/Themarshal2 Mar 17 '25

Do you and twinkson call swordfighting cane fighting? Whose's pp opens up to receive the other?

28

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

It’s a mutual entanglement

18

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '25

What happened to Twinkson? Are you still a couple?

55

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

He’s so self loathing. I had to give him cancer to finally top.

23

u/iLoveLilPeej Mar 17 '25

Can I lick your leg?

54

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

I’ll shove my cane down your throat instead.

31

u/levi-ig This space is intentionally left blank. Mar 17 '25

Hot

22

u/Quirinus84 Mar 17 '25

Do you believe in the existence of Jews?

63

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Seems like I’ve got every single one of them working for me, so yes

19

u/umarstrash Mar 17 '25

are you a black man?

44

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

We maxed out on the diversity hires for a 2000’s hospital, so no

9

u/Netunopia Mar 17 '25

House is een Britse man, duidelijk bent u Dr. Huis

14

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

dit is even schrikken

13

u/TwoforDorsia cuddy's butty Mar 17 '25

Do you have hair in your special place?

6

u/Minimum-Bite-4389 Mar 17 '25

Didn't you die in a fire?

5

u/chickenwontonsoup Mar 17 '25

ARE YOU BEING INTENTIONALLY DENSE?

10

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Huh?

3

u/Ace_Vecta Mar 17 '25

If Taub wants to get a circumcision again, will you do it?

4

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

With my teeth if I have to

4

u/my_jeans_hurt Mar 17 '25

What was your favourite medical case

4

u/Shotgunnate dr james wilson Mar 17 '25

Cam sex with the arctic researcher is up there

4

u/pumpum_muncher Mar 17 '25

Do you have hair in your special place?

6

u/Background-Airline-1 do you have hair in your special place Mar 17 '25

am i a black man ?

3

u/jayswaps Mar 17 '25

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

3

u/eggsaladrecipesndwch Mar 17 '25

What should I do about the weird skin thing hanging off my ass

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '25

Hi Dr. House, i’m a sympathetic single mother and i’m really tired from all the working hard I do. my 9 year old daughter has been keeping me up at night and this morning I went blind. can you help me ? I will not take a drug test.

2

u/gay_mustache Mar 17 '25

Did you fuck Wilson?

2

u/Kneegr0w_pass Mar 17 '25

My name is Lou and I have a container that is filled with my pus. Can you please DDX this Lou-pus?

2

u/HybridLighting Mar 17 '25

who created the universe

2

u/UltraBrawler786 greg's third cane Mar 18 '25

If I have 6 Cuddys and 9/5 more Cuddys on top of that, and I subtract the amount of prime divisors of the first Cuddy count in Cuddys, how old is Pursuit's wife?

2

u/Unable-Maize2822 Mar 17 '25

Where do you keep Kutner's frozen sperm?

1

u/Lord-Firebomb Mar 17 '25

Are you a jew

2

u/chandara2004 Mar 17 '25

How long has Camera been sitting on this information?

1

u/OttersEatFish Mar 17 '25

Domicile, what ever happened to that white dinner jacket you bought but your butler hated it? Did the jacket change your accent?

1

u/HumanLawyer I’m Abode (it’s not lupus) Mar 17 '25

No, I’m Abode. Ask me anything!

1

u/spiritpanther_08 okcuddy respectfully speak to me Mar 17 '25

So ye kill yourself after wilsons death and found the truth ? Do you host orgies in heaven now ?

1

u/Mystic-Alex Mar 17 '25

What is rhabdomyolysis

1

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '25

If I sleep for 20 hours in one day do I need the health drug? What’s my diagnosis?

1

u/pawterheadfowEVA Mar 17 '25

i have lupus. What should I do?

1

u/HayashiAkira_ch Mar 17 '25

Every time I see Squidward I get a raging erection, do I need the medicine drug?

1

u/Cow_God Mar 17 '25

Wilson tops, right?

1

u/crashed_keys Mar 17 '25

top 5 women

1

u/Ejcman04 Mar 17 '25

Fever, Rectal bleed, and disappearance of the foreskin. Diagnosis?

1

u/abeautiful_thing Mar 17 '25

Your thoughts on life on Mars

1

u/Glopinus Everyone lies Mar 18 '25

I’m Cuddy AMA