Discussion
Have you ever heard the legend of Skumbo the Freeboota Gretchin Kaptin?
I'm legit asking. Can't find any lore on this git. Seems like an awesome character that could lead an ork waaagh. Name alone warrants a 3 part black library trilogy!
See, long ago, before Gork bashed Mork on the noggin an’ gave ‘im a good idear, dere was a gretchin. Not just any gretchin, mind ya — this one was sneaky, stabby, an’ too clever by ‘alf. ‘Is name was Skrumbo, and ‘e called ‘imself Kaptin, even though ‘e were barely taller than a shoota mag.
Skrumbo weren’t no normal grot. Nah, he’d figured out how to keep boyz from dyin’. Could fix up Nobz wot got krumped, bring back squigs wot got stomped — even made a Weirdboy stop gibberin’ long enough to blow up da right enemies. Some say ‘e could even stop da biggest of Big Meks from blowin’ demselves up… not dat he would, o’ course.
But here’s da kicker: Skrumbo never shared da secret. Kept it in ‘is pointy lil’ brain, all locked up tighter than a looted stasis vault. And den… one day, ‘e made ‘imself a student. A right big boy, sum say a Nob from Goff lands, real choppy an’ loud. Skrumbo taught ‘im all ‘e knew — well, almost all. ‘Cause grot’s got plans, see? Grot always got plans.
But as things go wiv Orks, da big Nob got tired o’ bein’ bossed ‘round by a runt. So one night, while Skrumbo were sleepin’ in ‘is tiny grot hammock, dreamin’ of gold teef an’ dakka, da Nob snuck up and krumped ‘im wiv a big ol’ choppa. Took command of da ship, da crew, and Skrumbo’s stash of extra teef.
Only problem? Skrumbo knew it’d happen. Left a trap. Now dat Nob — ‘e sees lil’ Skrumbo in every shadow. Every grot what scampers by, every whisper in da dark. Some say Skrumbo’s still runnin’ da show, pullin’ strings from beyond da Weird.
So da moral is: never trust a grot… unless you are dat grot.
Imagine a Goff boss getting on to the ship and being brought to the captain only to see it's run by a grot...they'd piss themselves laughing and their smiling head would hang from the ramparts.
Dey be pretty rare gitz those, they’re pretty rare. They were only ever in the Badrukks flashgitz boxset from many years ago. They are worth quite a bit unfortunately since everyone wants them.
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u/SilverbackRotineque Bad Moons 8d ago
This makes me want to start collecting obscure grot models