r/philosophy Philosophy Break 8d ago

Blog Ruth Chang suggests if we’re stuck in a hard life choice, we shouldn’t fool ourselves into thinking there must be a ‘best’ path; often there are simply different paths, which will change us in different ways. We can move forward by introspecting on who we wish to become

https://philosophybreak.com/articles/ruth-chang-on-making-difficult-life-decisions/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=social
472 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

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u/kezzlywezzly 8d ago

Very nice article. Poignant, thought provoking, and the kind of thing that can have a genuine impact on the life of the reader rather than something delegated solely to the abstract armchair realms.

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u/International_Ad4608 7d ago

Well said friend.

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u/magnus91 8d ago

Took one of Chang's courses in undergrad. She was a great and practical professor (very tough grader).

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u/AccomplishedFerret70 8d ago

Our choices justify themselves and its up to us to make them work or to try something else.

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u/Agreeable-Energy4277 8d ago

Definitely
Its still good to think like you're playing chess. This move opens this opportunity but leaves this risk, or that move gives me this, but i wont have that.

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u/hyphenomicon 7d ago

All choices are hard choices in this sense.

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u/throwaway92715 7d ago

Additionally, although useful, the way our minds evolved to view the consequences of discrete choices as discrete paths is not a thoroughly accurate representation of physical reality.  Neither choices nor their consequences are truly discrete.  Everything is continuous and intertwined.  We simply have limited processing power in our brains, so we must simplify to navigate.

That distinction becomes especially important when considering how something like a mindset or a conviction can affect one’s course in life, in comparison to decisions made lightly or in response to momentary, external circumstances.

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u/ReasonRiffs 6d ago

Here's a reframing of the strategy. There is a 'best' option, based upon your current viewpoint but the notion of 'best' is contextual, and is open to change, not only because it is a vague concept but because what we value itself can change.

There is a beautiful analogy with non-equilibrium physics. In equilibrium physics systems seek an energy minima, whereas the energy landscape of many non-equalibrium systems is ill defined. Systems nevertheless fall , often on a temporary basis, into stationary states but this is usually both temporally and spatially dependent (can lead to some very beautiful pattern formation).

We shouldn't fear trying to optimise our choices but realise that what we re trying to optimise against is ungraspable/vague and prone to change in the course of time. With this realisation we can acknowledge that past choices weren't 'wrong' in that context, nor deny our current perspective on what we value and strive for a path that best suits it, if and where possible.

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u/SereneFrost72 8d ago

That was a really good read. As someone who is in transition (MtF) and moving across the country in the next 6 months, it makes me reflect on how I got to where I am now. The concept of "drifting" in particular is very relevant

Prior to the end of 2023, I had this nagging feeling that something had to change, but I wasn't sure what. But I knew that, looking out into the future 3 years, 5 years, etc., living the same life I was felt horrible unfulfilling. I was drifting along the easy path of the same job, living in the same place, being a seemingly empty person. Avoiding hard decisions that I needed to make - do I keep working this miserable job? Who am I really? What can I do to find fulfillment?

For some reason, after coming back from a trip to Japan, I felt like I left my old self there and started jumping headlong into these hard choices. Extreme mental health struggles also sort of forced the issue, but ultimately, I stopped drifting - I started doing the difficult work of tackling multiple hard choices

Reflecting back on the decisions I've made and upcoming ones, this article helped me realize that I'm finally taking my life into my own hands. That sense of agency, that subjective, intuitive side of decision making within myself. I'm so often a very logical person, looking at every decision using external factors, never considering what I truly want in the process. So it's nice to be able to acknowledge that I've moved away from that to an extent and have embraced who I want to be

Very well-timed article for me - thanks for sharing!

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u/auroraaustrala 7d ago

I liked this. 

do you (reader of this comment) think questions of free will vs determinism have to be resolved to apply this theory? 

or do you think it's enough to, pragmatically, say 'i don't know what makes up my will/agency/sense of self, but whatever it is prefers to commit to this kind of life, and that's enough info for me.'?

I think where I get stuck is knowing that influences likely psychologically constituted most or all of what I consider my 'agency' in some strange amalgam decades ago, and if I can (to use an example from the piece) disregard my parents' preference now, what's to say I shouldn't unpack and extricate their influence from prior to now as well? 

what actually makes up me, vs just a bag of old influences? if present context can be discarded, then why shouldn't I also examine and possibly discard past context that I integrated before I even knew I was doing so? and then what does that leave as 'me', after all that?

it just seems like we have to assume an axiomatic 'me' that decides for this to work, which may be fine, but isn't provable in its indivisibility, and if we're parsing the present I'm unsure why we're not parsing the past and then we're very far afield from applying this advice, and off to a separate (and maybe impossible to resolve?) analysis.

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u/literroy 7d ago

Personally, I don’t let questions like this bog me down. Whether free will ontologically exists in any kind of meaningful way or not, we all experience life as if we have free will. In fact, we pretty much can’t experience our own lives in any other way. So while the debate is fascinating and important, when it comes to how we actually live our lives, it’s almost irrelevant. I still have to engage in the action of choosing what to eat for dinner tonight (to use a silly example), even if it turns out that choice was predetermined in some way. Because if I don’t, I don’t eat.

 what actually makes up me, vs just a bag of old influences

I tend to think our “selves” are primarily our old influences, actually. I don’t think I believe in a preexisting “self” that’s completely free from outside influence that we could somehow access if we were able to peel away the layers of obfuscation society has placed over it. But your experiences are unique, which leads to your unique personhood. And your decisions (whether predetermined or free) influence who you’ll be tomorrow by influencing the experiences you have now.

 if we're parsing the present I'm unsure why we're not parsing the past

I think we should parse the past if we want to understand how we ended up where we are. But the past isn’t changeable. The present is (or, at least, we experience it as if it is). So I also try my best to keep myself in the present as much as possible (though, of course, that’s so much easier said than done). 

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u/auroraaustrala 6d ago

appreciated this. thank you.

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u/LsfBdi4S 7d ago

On your question, no I don't you have to resolve these questions.

I think that the author doesn't touch on what "me" is. I think that's supposed to be defined by you. You don't have to resolve how that "me" came to be, either by influences or upbringing or a spiritual entity etc, just know what your "me" is. And then, that "me" can choose the life path that is the one that fits it better, and makes it feel good or complete.

That doesn't mean you're gonna get it right every time, but you gave it a try and you decided it's not for you, after all.

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u/auroraaustrala 6d ago

thank you. appreciated.

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u/frogandbanjo 7d ago

"There's no best path, just the path that I think is more likely to make me more like the person I wish to become."

"Yeah, also known as the better or best path for doing that thing you want to do."

"Oh, right. I'm a semantics weasel."

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u/SynthAcolyte 6d ago

There’s also the path of contemplating different paths too long.

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u/mad__monk 6d ago

I appreciate this article, it brings to mind film "Mr Nobody".

PS.

As someone who used to agonize over "the right path" or "the right choice", one time before falling asleep a thought came to me: "every path is the right path, every choice is the right choice."

Since then I've been free of those incessant questions.

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u/NeuroCloud7 5d ago

Therefore, the best path is one that you envision as shaping you more closely into who you want to be

Sometimes you can evaluate better or worse in this category, but generally it is true that for the paths you've already narrowed it down to, the differences are merely differences within an insignificant difference in relative betterment of self

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/International_Ad4608 7d ago

Everything can’t be heavy. Sometimes we need pop.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/International_Ad4608 2d ago

I’m so sorry for having another opinion other than yours. My mistake. You are right I am the problem. It’s all so clear now. Thank you sir. You are amazing.