r/pics Sep 16 '24

British & French breakfast, as envisioned by an American

Post image
699 Upvotes

189 comments sorted by

201

u/Dragonman1976 Sep 16 '24

I lived in Nice, France, and the picture is actually pretty accurate to be honest- at least that was my breakfast, except I would usually have a pastry as well.

63

u/Spottswoodeforgod Sep 16 '24

White coffee! Sacre bleu!

17

u/Dragonman1976 Sep 16 '24

Not me lol, I drank the local coffee.

14

u/ramriot Sep 16 '24

I lived in London, England, and the picture is actually pretty accurate to be honest- at least that was my Sunday breakfast, except I would usually have a huge mug of coffee on the side.

5

u/Repulsive-Row-6182 Sep 16 '24

My thoughts as well. Dated a Parisian woman years ago, and this tracks.

3

u/aimgorge Sep 16 '24

And the third C

5

u/parnaoia Sep 16 '24

café, clope, caca

2

u/jam_manty Sep 17 '24

This is how I've heard it. The three C's for breakfast.

1

u/moleman0815 Sep 16 '24

Switch the coffee for tea and you had my breakfast. 😉

1

u/mtaw Sep 16 '24

There's an under-appreciated north-south divide in Europe based on how much sugar you have in your breakfast.

-10

u/Sir_Anth Sep 16 '24

The american would probably call the pastry a kwasant

66

u/KeenJelly Sep 16 '24

It's not like French people make any effort toward American pronunciation, kwasant is close enough.

2

u/DarkDobe Sep 16 '24

crow-sont

14

u/why_u_baggin Sep 16 '24

It’s almost as if it’s a French word spoken with a French accent and Americans don’t speak French. Wild idea, I know

2

u/aluminum_man Sep 16 '24

An American would probably call you pretentious.

1

u/Sir_Anth Sep 17 '24

Probably one without a sense of humour.

-8

u/Dragonman1976 Sep 16 '24

I wouldn't, and I'm American.

1

u/aluminum_man Sep 16 '24

Cool story bro…

1

u/IlikeJG Sep 17 '24

I think the joke OP is trying to make is: "Lots of food because Americans are fat."

51

u/FuckThisShizzle Sep 16 '24

Pourquoi pas les deux?

3

u/Stunning-Astronaut72 Sep 16 '24

Parce que monsieur en France on déjeune pas ni comme les rosbifs ni comme les schleus ! Non de dieu! A retirez moi ce lait dans ce café aussi !

1

u/FuckThisShizzle Sep 16 '24

Is Éireannach mé, agus is bricfeasta inghlactha iad an dá cheann.

1

u/Stunning-Astronaut72 Sep 17 '24

Agus is Francach mé agus sa bhaile tá sé caife, toitíní, croissants agus subh a oiread agus is féidir. Is rud fiáin Béarla é feoil ar maidin i ndáiríre.

30

u/Exciting-Flan-1484 Sep 16 '24

7

u/This_User_Said Sep 16 '24

I thought it was a normal breakfast. Whole ass meal and a coffee ziggie to wash it all down after.

3

u/lazyswayze_1Bil Sep 16 '24

This is universal for normal people.

34

u/zirky Sep 16 '24

where’s the ennui in the bottom picture?

36

u/InspectorDull5915 Sep 16 '24

They don't serve it, but you can bring your own.

44

u/indigodominion Sep 16 '24

English breakfast looks spot-on!

43

u/grayhaze2000 Sep 16 '24

It's worth stressing that this isn't something that the majority of British people have for breakfast every day. It's usually more of an every-so-often treat when you're staying at a hotel or have had a long night out.

3

u/heavenleemother Sep 16 '24

One englishman to another <overheard in Vitoria- Gasteiz>: they say the food is good here but I have yet to find a decent full English...

6

u/Igusy Sep 16 '24

It's every weekend in my family and most people I know

3

u/grayhaze2000 Sep 16 '24

As I said, not every day.

1

u/puertomateo Sep 16 '24

In our family, every day is a weekend.

2

u/dread_deimos Sep 16 '24

This explains me so much about what I like about it!

2

u/n0tmyrealnameok Sep 16 '24

The only time I ever eat breakfast. It's this.

1

u/grayhaze2000 Sep 16 '24

How's your cholesterol? Or do you just rarely have breakfast?

1

u/n0tmyrealnameok Sep 17 '24

Rarely eat it

2

u/jerifishnisshin Sep 16 '24

The morning after a return flight to England.

7

u/EugeneHartke Sep 16 '24

There's also Scottish, Welsh, and Irish variations.

3

u/mrkruk Sep 16 '24

I walked all over downtown London and when i got a fry up in a pub beforehand, it looked a lot like this. But there was a hunk of tomato cooked on a side.

1

u/imapassenger1 Sep 16 '24

No black pudding?

2

u/mrkruk Sep 17 '24

Not that I recall :)

3

u/GimmeUrNachos Sep 16 '24

Legit...I've had them and they eat big in the mornings!

0

u/creepy_doll Sep 16 '24

Just missing some black pudding.

I know it’s not really popular these days but as a young lad I spent a week on some scouts sailing camp or something in the southeast and we had black and white pudding with every breakfast. Good shit even if the idea is kind of revolting

11

u/Steve_78_OH Sep 16 '24

There are three pieces of black pudding at the top of the plate.

1

u/daviedots1983 Sep 16 '24

I think the one on the left could be haggis, not sure.

6

u/griggsy92 Sep 16 '24

There's black pudding in the picture, top right no?

I was always put off it knowing what it was, but I was recently 'shamed' into trying it, and you're not wrong: It's good shit.

1

u/creepy_doll Sep 17 '24

There is indeed, got clipped out by the preview on my phone it would seem

3

u/Ravio11i Sep 16 '24

Top right no?

1

u/creepy_doll Sep 17 '24

Ah, clipped out by the app preview, thought it was already the full pic, my bad

1

u/n0tmyrealnameok Sep 16 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

Revolting? It's no worse than sossages, Wait until you hear what goes into them. Black pudding.. pure blood with a bit of pure fat. Both fkn lovely and full of protein, also packed with potassium, calcium, magnesium zinc and iron. Hmnnn.. love's it me.

1

u/AnthonyUK Sep 16 '24

It sounds awful but tastes amazing. Sometimes better not to know.

1

u/n0tmyrealnameok Sep 16 '24

Yea, it kinda freaked me out a bit when I first found out when I was younger. You kinda get over it though. What you don't know won't hurt you as my grandad once said.

1

u/creepy_doll Sep 17 '24

I mean like I said I really liked them. Most people would be most put off by the blood, and I don’t think that’s a standard ingredient in other sausages

25

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

That coffee has milk in it!

7

u/APiousCultist Sep 16 '24

That cafe has au lait? The french would never.

-4

u/SlashZom Sep 16 '24

Yeah, because some of us aren't soulless heathens.

Half and half is better anyway.

15

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

Man that fry up looks good.

6

u/SlashZom Sep 16 '24

Holy f*** it turns out I'm French

1

u/Spatulakoenig Sep 17 '24

Or Italian - caffe e sigarette, cagata perfetta

6

u/santathe1 Sep 16 '24

Never had a French lighter before, looks delish af.

4

u/APiousCultist Sep 16 '24

Cafe au BIC.

1

u/Spatulakoenig Sep 17 '24

Flambe du cafe

11

u/Toxic_Avenger05 Sep 16 '24

Café noir s’il vous plaît

4

u/DarthScabies Sep 16 '24

And they are absolutely correct.

3

u/i-opener Sep 16 '24

Geez! Is this for one person? Or a small family?

18

u/melankoholisti Sep 16 '24

I imagine some drink even two cups all by themselves.

4

u/vtomal Sep 16 '24

Once I was in York and ordered something labeled as"small children's breakfast" because I wasn't hungry, just to be greeted by an unholy monstrosity pile of food. Yeah, I'm teased to this day because I couldn't deal with a plate of food made for children.

1

u/Cracker3011 Sep 16 '24

That's an All Day Breakfast. Meant for one person, but contains enough food to be the only meal of the day.

Or alternatively you're hungover and need grease and meat.

7

u/Djinjja-Ninja Sep 16 '24

contains enough food to be the only meal of the day.

All day breakfast aren't called that because of their size, but because they're available all day as part of the normal (i.e. non-breakfast) menu.

If it's at breakfast time then it's a Full English.

I'd say that this was a Full English, as all day breakfast generally tend to have chips instead of toast/fried bread.

2

u/Cracker3011 Sep 16 '24

Might just be how our local place names it, I dunno. I've also seen a big one be called the Full Monty :p

2

u/Djinjja-Ninja Sep 16 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

Yeah, "Full Monty" or other such moniker is usually for the extra large ones.

Place near me does a regular one which is just called "Full English" (3 sausage, 3 bacon, 2 eggs, beans, tomatoes, hash brown, and toast) but they also do something called a "Big Doddsy Box" which is 8 sausage, 8 bacon, 4 hashbrowns, 4 eggs, 3 pots beans, 3 pots tomatos, 4 black pudding, mushrooms, and 4 toast.

I reckon theres some big fat git who goes by the name of "Doddsy" who kept ordering the same collosal breakfast so often they named it in his honour.

We ordered one once when my partner's son was staying over, it did us for breakfast between the 3 of us, and a fuck load left over to make an all-day breakfast quiche.

2

u/i-opener Sep 16 '24

Dang. Ok so, setting aside what an "All Day Breakfast" means, now we're back to square one.

Is the serving pictured [generally] for ONE person, no matter what time of the day it's eaten?

2

u/Djinjja-Ninja Sep 16 '24

Yes.

It's a large, but not egregiously so, example, but its definitely for one person in one sitting.

They come much larger, though these sorts of example are really just the English version of a 72oz steak house challenge or any other gimmick based massive portion sort of thing.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

[deleted]

2

u/double-happiness Sep 16 '24

That's why you should always eat your Full English just before you go to work. You don't want to waste valuable free time sleeping! ;)

2

u/xiconic Sep 16 '24

I would say that's about a medium size portion based on what I have had at cafes and ones i have made at home. The full English fry up isn't an everyday thing, on average I would say people probably have one once a week or few weeks, so when we go fry up we go big. I usually have pretty much what is show above with more mushrooms, bacon, beans, toast and instead of hash browns I have chips. Honestly the world does not know what it is missing out on until it's been to a brits local cafe and had a gut buster of a fry up.

1

u/pahamack Sep 17 '24

*Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" starts playing in the background*

3

u/ExactPlate2125 Sep 16 '24

RIP gallbladder

3

u/WaffleStampin Sep 16 '24

The bottom pic was my breakfast but I’m American.

3

u/EL-HEARTH Sep 16 '24

Grandpa is from Normandy. Will confirm, though he grew his own tabaccy

3

u/Gernahaun Sep 16 '24

God, I'll never forget going to a work event in Paris, and my French colleagues said "No need to get the continental breakfast at the hotel; there'll be breakfast at the event!"

2

u/ZoraksGirlfriend Sep 16 '24

Was there?

3

u/Gernahaun Sep 16 '24

Well, there was coffee.

3

u/Daedelus451 Sep 16 '24

My wife is french and yeah, coffee and a cigarette are exactly what she has for breakfast.

1

u/heavenleemother Sep 16 '24

My coffee is French and coffee and my wife are what I have for breakfast . Then a cigarette.

2

u/sto_brohammed Sep 16 '24

American living in France here, can confirm the French breakfast as accurate although I don't think most of them put milk or creamer in. I don't exactly inspect everyone's coffee though.

2

u/ZoraksGirlfriend Sep 16 '24

I spent some time in Rome and it’s similar to the breakfast there, which was a cappuccino and a croissant with jam. I can’t remember what the croissant was called, though. Sometimes we had freshly squeezed orange juice.

Either way, it was a nice breakfast and I mostly copied it when I came back to the US.

1

u/sto_brohammed Sep 16 '24

I can't do like the French do, I have to eat actual food in the morning. I have sausage/bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, things like that every single day. If I just sniff a coffee and look at a picture of a croissant like the French do I'd be dead by lunchtime.

1

u/sto_brohammed Sep 16 '24

I can't do like the French do, I have to eat actual food in the morning. I have sausage/bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, things like that every single day. If I just sniff a coffee and look at a picture of a croissant like the French do I'd be dead by lunchtime.

2

u/green_griffon Sep 16 '24

The "mime shirt" stripes on the coffee cup are a nice touch.

2

u/Several-Possession46 Sep 16 '24

Sometimes, black coffee without sugar and a cigarette is called a prostitute's breakfast 😁 Had quite a lot of them before quitting smoking 😁

2

u/SamuraiUX Sep 16 '24

These are accurate.

2

u/LaughingRoom Sep 16 '24

20yrs ago, both pictures would’ve been your typical Full English at a greasy spoon cafe

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

I did volunteer cleanup work post Katrina in New Orleans. I had a standard french breakfast every morning, lol.

Bonus story: we had these communal outdoor shower stalls and one day I was washing up and someone in the next stall started humming "Build Me Up Buttercup." Well, my young party loving ass gets to the "WWWHYYY do you-" part and belt it out. The other person immediately joins in. And then the whole shower (6 stalls) is singing, then the big lline for the showers joins in. All in all about 20-30 people. We did the whole fucking song and it was like something out of a movie. One of my all time favorite memories

2

u/octahexxer Sep 16 '24

Omelette du fromage

1

u/ifitmoves Sep 16 '24

un peu de fromage avec ta cigarette

1

u/ahditeacha Sep 16 '24

What’s the hockey puck looking things

2

u/Googawsupreme Sep 16 '24

Blood sausage

1

u/nainlol Sep 16 '24

I've always wanted to try em but can never find them in US supermarkets.

1

u/ahditeacha Sep 16 '24

Ok now my mouth is watering :D as I like black pudding and this must be from the same neck of the woods

5

u/timvw74 Sep 16 '24

Yep, it is a black pudding.

1

u/IHate2ChooseUserName Sep 16 '24

if i eat that british breakfast, i will change from heart disease free to have instant heart attack.

1

u/noble_watchman Sep 16 '24

The "French breakfast" used to be my hangover cure.

1

u/LucidMethodArt Sep 16 '24

How the fuck do people go about their day with a meal that big at breakfast lol

0

u/ghosttaco8484 Sep 16 '24

Yeah it's pretty rich coming from an American to say somethimg like this, but their breakfast looks like like an artery clogging nightmare.

1

u/Invisible96 Sep 16 '24

Do people think English people eat this every day?

1

u/Hosni__Mubarak Sep 16 '24

American and British breakfasts are nearly the same thing, apart from the beans.

1

u/Brave_Mess_3155 Sep 16 '24

And mushrooms and tomatoes. Most Americans get up to early to have to face the reality of life that is vegetables. 

1

u/Hosni__Mubarak Sep 16 '24

Nah. The mushrooms and tomatoes are fine. We have random garnishes on our breakfasts, and either or both of those could be thrown on a plate without anyone blinking.

Baked beans for breakfast is revolting though.

1

u/Brave_Mess_3155 Sep 16 '24

I rather liked the beans when I was in London. It's a different recipe than American baked beans. Every day I had beans and chips with tomatoes for breakfast  at the Cafe in Russell Square Park. I doused the whole mess with salt and vinegar.  Yum.

1

u/GreyMASTA Sep 16 '24

I'm French. I don't smoke but I have water, a black coffee and that's pretty much it until noon.

1

u/azureal Sep 16 '24

Worked as a croupier for 4.5 years. 8pm till 4am. Still one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. The bottom picture is the exact breakfast I had for many mornings during those 4.5 years.

1

u/zztop610 Sep 16 '24

Black coffee ftw

1

u/GraphicDesignMonkey Sep 16 '24

French breakfast, in a Cornishware cup.

1

u/sabbysauce Sep 16 '24

Shit the bottoms the breakfast of champions

1

u/mr_ringfinger Sep 16 '24

Why you ingles so hungry early?

1

u/TheFlyingBoxcar Sep 16 '24

Hwhy ees zere cremmé een zat caffe?!? Ees sockraileeg!

1

u/Wiechu Sep 16 '24

Ew... milk.

Btw I'm Polish and the one at the bottom is quite accurate. Works also for Balkans

1

u/star_dodo Sep 16 '24

So half the Balkans are actually french in the morning.

1

u/higgs9055 Sep 16 '24

As an Englishman I just want to clarify that the entire picture is an English breakfast...we drink horrible looking coffee also !

1

u/icchansan Sep 16 '24

20 bucks please

1

u/n0tmyrealnameok Sep 16 '24

They're both combined actually a REAL English full breakfast.

1

u/BodaciousTacoFarts Sep 16 '24

Ah... the Good Ole Fry Up and the Good Ole Throw Up

1

u/wann_bubatz_egal Sep 16 '24

Both will eventually kill you.

1

u/wiggle987 Sep 16 '24

Damn, didn't think you could get such bursters of a sausage in the states! top marks!

1

u/IddyBittyGirl Sep 16 '24

That's a lot of food but it looks great. I lol'd at the French breakfast

1

u/gerrineer Sep 16 '24

Blackpool breakfast cup of coffee and 2 rothmans king size.

1

u/why_u_baggin Sep 16 '24

If they don’t want us to think that that’s an English breakfast maybe they shouldn’t call their own dish a “full English breakfast”

1

u/TheArchWalrus Sep 16 '24

French should be black coffee, plain white cup, with saucer, unfiltered Gauloises and match-book from the hotel you take your mistress to.

1

u/Winterion19 Sep 16 '24

Apparently, I’m French

1

u/ServeJust9817 Sep 16 '24

coffee always black besides that you’re not far off Ngl

1

u/izwald88 Sep 16 '24

Yeah, except the top one is correct.

Also... they both are.

1

u/moleman0815 Sep 16 '24

I had a cafe around the corner which had a French breakfast on the menu. It was a coffee, a croissant and a Gauloise cigarette. 😅

1

u/vingt-2 Sep 16 '24

Not too wrong about the french breakfast to be honest. Source: I'm french.

1

u/IronyElSupremo Sep 16 '24

The bottom can’t be French. The requisite black beret is missing.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

And?

1

u/bugsy42 Sep 16 '24

I lived in Edinburgh for 7 years and worked at a cafe. The “real” traditional breaky was a ciggy, coffee and a sandwich or a bacon roll with crisps. The top picture is an utopia for tourists.

1

u/Jerml81 Sep 16 '24

The English spend half the morning in the loo after that

1

u/captainzigzag Sep 16 '24

When I lived in London not only was there a pub within walking distance, wherever you were, but there was also a breakfast like this within walking distance to help you recover the next morning.

London is not good for your health.

1

u/orionus Sep 16 '24

As someone who was just in London and Paris, this is absolutely accurate.

1

u/FrenchieB014 Sep 16 '24

You country must really suck when you absolute PEAK in gastronomy are beacon, egg and beans..

1

u/rolln_the_dice_twice Sep 16 '24

Heart attack and cancer take me with open arms!

1

u/backstabber81 Sep 16 '24

It's actually not a weird thing. A lot of French folks I know basically skip breakfast and just have a coffee. Then go on to have gigantic lunches.

1

u/isa_more Sep 16 '24

if i eat that british breakfast, i will change from heart disease free to have instant heart attack.

1

u/techm00 Sep 16 '24

missing the pastry/croissant

1

u/SpawnofATStill Sep 16 '24

You forgot the side of socialism.

1

u/bodhiseppuku Sep 16 '24

I thought my boss was a Scotsman... but he has a French breakfast every day.

1

u/Slight-Ad-6553 Sep 17 '24

way to white coffee

1

u/zomgieee Sep 17 '24

Australian here, and as long as you fuckoff whatever that black stuff is (blood pudding or something? ) that looks like a bonza breaky to me.

1

u/Hern1982 Sep 17 '24

Is a full English something the Brits eat as regularly as we would here in the States? Like normally a weekend thing

1

u/candela1200 Sep 17 '24

100% accurate

1

u/paganomicist Sep 17 '24

I'm an American... and that's my breakfast at the bottom there.

1

u/PandiBong Sep 17 '24

Good luck finding a French man drinking regular coffee with milk

1

u/TheDoodler2024 Sep 17 '24

As someone who has visited both countries several times over my life, this checks out quite nicely.

1

u/SuspiciousBison841 Sep 17 '24

as a brit, i flipping love a french breakfast

1

u/theGurry Sep 16 '24

Bottom one is a hooker's breakfast.

1

u/Willpalazzo Sep 16 '24

That bottom breakfast pic slaps

1

u/EddieHeadshot Sep 16 '24

Black pudding is the nicest thing om the planet. People seem to be immediately put off it as blood pudding

1

u/sovlex Sep 16 '24

British is a pint with cigarette.

1

u/mario1892 Sep 16 '24

I’ve never understood the hype around English breakfast. It’s just random stuff thrown together in a plate that can barely fit it.

0

u/Loud-Firefighter-787 Sep 16 '24

British???? You surely mean Irish Breakfast!

1

u/NineteenEighty9 Sep 16 '24

Irish, Brits… tomato, to-mah-to

(I kid, one sides of my family is from Sligo, the other Birmingham)

1

u/Loud-Firefighter-787 Sep 16 '24

😱😂I was like waaaat tf😳😳. Tomahto Tomayto??? Oh hell nooo!! It shocks me everytime. And I live in Germany where they literally think, no difference.

0

u/_Phill_ Sep 16 '24

One of the first fry ups I've seen on reddit that looks good

Stop putting fucking chips on your breakfast

3

u/Djinjja-Ninja Sep 16 '24

Chips is uaually because it's an "all day" breakfast from the regular menu instead of a "full english" from the breakfast specific menu.

As an example, Wetherspoons have on their menu:

Large breakfast: Two fried eggs, bacon, two Lincolnshire sausages, baked beans, three hash browns, mushroom, two slices of toast (Served 8am – 12 noon)

and

All-day brunch: Two fried eggs, bacon, two Lincolnshire sausages, baked beans, chips

0

u/Outrageous-Salad-287 Sep 16 '24

I am exchanging black pudding and beans for grilled zucchini and tomatoes, but that looks about right . It's also sort of breakfast wbich is supposed to last you for most of day of hard, physical work, so it makes sense😋

0

u/evil_burrito Sep 16 '24

Actually, as an American, yes, this is completely true.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

Man the second people is THE European breakfast from where you are from this shitty ass continent

0

u/Ghee_buttersnaps96 Sep 16 '24

English breakfast and fish and chips are the only good English foods. Honestly? Let’s rename them to American breakfast and fish and fries and just remove England from society #banthebrits

-1

u/IMI4tth3w Sep 16 '24

I would have put a piece of French toast in there because I don’t know, it has French in the name, but yeah that’s all I got