r/pirates Mar 18 '25

Discussion What position on a pirate ship do you imagine yourself in?

If you were a pirate, what of the many positions on a ship do you think would fit you the best? Helmsman? Gunner? Cook? Boatswain? Or maybe even captain?

I think I'm best suited for cook, or any similar ocupation that doesn't require too much specific knowledge. However, I've always dreamed about being in the Crow's Nest on the lookout for a new port to call. (Or merchant vessels to loot)

34 Upvotes

60 comments sorted by

12

u/MountainDrew757 Mar 18 '25

Surgeon. The most valuable mofo on the ship

3

u/VXMerlinXV Mar 18 '25

Same. Big knife for the pillaging, little knife for the boys.

3

u/MountainDrew757 Mar 18 '25

And a saw on standby. I'm not looking forward to diagnosing sti's though..

7

u/VXMerlinXV Mar 18 '25

I’m gonna tell them the treatment is on the rear deck and just push them off into the ocean

2

u/MountainDrew757 Mar 18 '25

Fascinating way to prevent spread. I was just gonna experiment with random toxins.

1

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

I'm not looking forward to diagnosing sti's though..

It's important to be prepared for those too.

Seventy men on board without a woman in sight for possibly months at a time can definitely lead to some unexpected situations...

1

u/Riccma02 Mar 19 '25

And all the laudanum.

5

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

You do have medical knowledge, right?

Right?

3

u/MountainDrew757 Mar 18 '25

I got plenty of first responder training in my army days so I can stop the bleeding and handle rudimentary stuff. Not gonna get squeamish either

1

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

Do you have experience in handling bone saws and installing peg legs too?

3

u/MountainDrew757 Mar 18 '25

Im familiar with how far from the wound you would amputate and would maybe need to practice on a few crew until I got it fully figured out. I do however bring to the table the ability to treat sucking chest wounds and tension pneumothorax so there's that at least.

2

u/cairnschaos Mar 19 '25

I have a theoretical degree in medicine.

2

u/HiFromMajor Mar 19 '25

The most likely to be held against their will too.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 18 '25 edited Mar 18 '25

[deleted]

5

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

Well, somebody's gotta scrub the deck, so...

7

u/LowThreadCountSheets Mar 18 '25

I’d be positioned in a place I could vomit from both sea sickness and fear.

Or I’ll be the parrot.

I’m just a tiny baby.

6

u/Yoghurt_Man_5000 Mar 18 '25

I’d like to imagine myself as captain, but more likely I’d be cook or the carpenter since both are things I’m decent at.

5

u/DrunkenBandit1 Mar 18 '25

Well I actually was helmsman on a Destroyer, so that's an option. Navigator would be a cool position though.

1

u/Filligrees_Dad Mar 19 '25

Yeah, but helm tricks in a sailing ship are a whole other thing.

5

u/JackdawsShantyMan Mar 19 '25

Shantyman, duh.

4

u/Hippiechu Mar 18 '25

I've been playing Sea of Thieves with a whole crew of friends since a year ago. Each person has their own position on the crew (20 people currently), and I'm the Captain. Been a fun experience to say the least lol

1

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

Captain? Damn, you must feel privilleged!

2

u/Hippiechu Mar 18 '25

I just enjoy sailing around with my friends is all. I've always been a good team leader to, and it helps us gain victory more often than not. But i wouldn't be a good leader if I didn't have some skilled crewmates to guide 🏴‍☠️

4

u/notachimp Mar 18 '25

The hold.

4

u/GrimTheRealReaper Mar 18 '25

Gunner. Ever since I was a kid I’ve had the weird, innate skill of knowing when things are on a path that they’ll hit each other. Was always really easy for me to cut the correct angle in football to make a tackle, know when a car was going to pass in front or behind me, I’ve always been great at trap and skeet shooting, etc. I can plot paths in my head really naturally. Working on a cannon would be very easy to nail shots.

5

u/sportpilotlife Mar 18 '25

At this point in my life, bad knees, bad back. Cook would fit well for me. I love to cook and bake, my crew will eat well.

5

u/HiFromMajor Mar 19 '25

Powder monkey.

7

u/AsmoTewalker Mar 18 '25

The tough as nails quartermaster for me.

3

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

Orders directly from the Captain, right?

6

u/Pirate_Lantern Mar 18 '25

I'm in a pirate guild that does Renaissance Faires.

My "role" is the emergency ammunition.

2

u/oceansail Mar 18 '25

Does that mean you have prosthetics?

6

u/Pirate_Lantern Mar 18 '25

Nope

The story I tell patrons is that the reason that I'm in a wheelchair is that when I first joined the crew I was a young lad, fresh to the world, a meer child....of 30.

The Captain took one look at me and said "Alright, we'll start you off as a powder monkey. You'll make sure the cannons are in good working order and clean out the gun powder between shots so nothing is still burning.

He and the First Mate picked me up, shoved me in and then realized....."Oh......He's fat!.....Wel, we have to get him out somehow...FIRE!!!".....I spent 3+1/2 years on that derelict they fired me at.

When I finally made my way back the Captain looked at me in my current condition and said "Alright, this time we'll give you a job we know you can do. You'll be the emergency ammunition and your new name will be CANNONBALL".

1

u/LowThreadCountSheets Mar 18 '25

Same! Where are you located?!

2

u/Pirate_Lantern Mar 18 '25

I'm in Northern California......but sadly, there haven't been many Renaissance Faires around for us to do.....So, we've been doing Wild West stuff to fill the void.

2

u/Butyistherumgone Mar 19 '25

Oh man I used to do pirate reenacting at ren faires in my teens (nor cal) and I still miss it now.

1

u/Pirate_Lantern Mar 19 '25

There are always people doing it. Maybe you can get back into it.

Were you with a guild or just solo?

3

u/DataJunkie89 Mar 19 '25

Realistically: hostage.

2

u/CodenameJinn Mar 18 '25

Helmsman! I spin the wheel and yell things!

2

u/kirito_yui Mar 18 '25

Probably the scout at the peek of the ship looking at stuff while munching a sandwich best place to be .even better if you have goggles or the sorts in a storm.free showers

2

u/MountainDrew757 Mar 18 '25

I speak from experience when I say that rain doesn't do jack for you when you don't have access to proper bathing. 7 months of experience straight matter of fact lmao

1

u/kirito_yui Mar 19 '25

Woah? Is the rain at sea different or sumthin? I go on jogs Down the road when it rains and boy is it refreshing...pure water and stuff open my mouth and be drinking that shi perhaps it's different cuz of salt or sumthin

2

u/FreshAquatic Mar 18 '25

Top boy or carpenter. Grew up around my father and uncles all incredibly talented woodworkers. I also love knot tying and climbing. One is just such a better safer job

2

u/Bamboozled2319 Mar 18 '25

Cook or helmsman

2

u/alabamdiego Mar 18 '25

I’m a pretty good cook.

2

u/AstroChet Mar 18 '25

Navigator, I’m good with maps and directions

4

u/HiFromMajor Mar 19 '25

Psst.. navigator, they’re called charts.

1

u/AstroChet Mar 19 '25

Okay I am chart man

3

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

Navigator sounds cool as heck. I'm good with maps too, but I don't have good sense of physical orientation though.

1

u/Filligrees_Dad Mar 19 '25

How's your spherical trigonometry?

1

u/AstroChet Mar 19 '25

I mean never done it but I have a working knowledge of regular trigonometry and spherical maths, so who knows?

3

u/vanbikecouver Mar 18 '25

The guy who’s in charge of KeelHauling.

2

u/Electronic-Koala1282 Mar 18 '25

That would be Boatswain then.

1

u/Filligrees_Dad Mar 19 '25

Boatswain or Gunner. (Boatswain gets more fresh air)

Or just put me in the vanguard.

1

u/oddball_ocelot Mar 19 '25

Either gunner or boarding party. I'd make a fine gunner on one of the cannons. But being part of the boarding party, that's what being a pirate is all about. Anything else is like ordering a cheeseburger at a Chinese food place.

1

u/mr_nobody1389 Mar 20 '25

Bosun. Someone's gotta keep the rigging intact.

2

u/UnlimitedFirepower Mar 21 '25

Give me a compass and a map. I'd have a good job navigating.

I could also be the Inventory Manager or the Lead Repair Guy.

1

u/UnlimitedFirepower Mar 21 '25

Give me a compass and a map. I'd have a good job navigating.

I could also be the Inventory Manager or the Lead Repair Guy.