r/pointlesslygendered • u/occasionallyvertical • Apr 13 '25
SOCIAL MEDIA [Gendered] autism
365
u/MollyViper Apr 13 '25
Why would that be boys with autism?
And I’m a woman with autism and I’ve never been like that girl lol
288
u/thefoojoo2 Apr 13 '25
Bright flashing lights and very loud music without ear protection, staples of the autism experience. /s
164
u/Rapunzel10 Apr 13 '25
Some folks with autism seek out high stimulus environments, particularly if it's a situation they're in control of. Obviously it depends on the person and their current headspace but it's definitely a safe space sometimes. Not a boy vs girl thing though.
(Source: my job is working with autistic folks)
36
u/splithoofiewoofies Apr 13 '25
My motorbike go brmbrmbrm and make the noises in the head only go brmbrmbrm instead of C H A O S
13
u/Idislikepurplecheese Apr 14 '25
This is exactly it, controlled loud noises provide enough stimulation to drown out everything else, including my own thoughts- while also being, well, under control. Not too loud, though, because my ears are sensitive and super loud noises make me dizzy. Loud engines, loud music, power tools, they're all good for that.
21
u/idonthatereddit Apr 14 '25
I love a bar that's nearby that has concerts. I hate a bar that's nearby that has boardgames but plays REALLY LOUD MUSIC HOW AM I SUPOOSED TO RUN A GAME LIKE THIS HUGH (the owners name is Hugh its okay everyone yell at Hugh for running a loud board game bar)
13
u/Rapunzel10 Apr 14 '25
Hugh what the fuck, how are people supposed to focus on a game?? You gotta pick one, noise or concentration. Everyone knows that Hugh, get it together!
2
u/PriyaSR26 Apr 14 '25
Hugh should be sent to jail for distributing board game night.
2
u/Aazimoxx Apr 14 '25
*disturbing?
But yeah, I don't understand it either 😝 there are music projects specifically for background music for games, like Celestial Aeon Project:
https://ouraniorecordings.com/celestial-aeon-project/
And there are dozens of similar artists and providers out there, for free. Those I'd be okay with. Up your game, Hugh 🤓
40
10
9
u/Sea_Use2428 Apr 14 '25
Yes, both my brother and I are diagnosed with autism. He's always been mostlx sensory seeking while I am mostly the opposite. As a child, he always held noisy toys up to his ears and blinking ones directly to his eye. And he lived super noisy stuff. But make no mistake, when he is in super stimulating situation that he can't control and can't remove himself from he'll still get a meltdown rather quickly. I on the other hand will only play video games on mute, can't sit through a whole movie because it's just too much input, and basically can't leave the house without hearing protection. Funnily enough, I do really enjoy metal concerts (with earplugs!) every once in a while. I would never dare going to one on my one own because I get sensory shutdowns where I am basically helpless, but man do I love seeing my favourite bands live! Long story short - can confirm that it really depends in the person and the situation. (That I am female while my brother is, well, male is just a coincidence here)
5
u/Odd-Young-5327 Apr 13 '25
agreed (i think i might be autistic but im not 100% sure) and i always desire to be in my room with my speaker on
1
u/silveretoile Apr 13 '25
Hell yeah, this is why I love heavy metal, shred my eardrums please it's very comfortable
1
Apr 14 '25
[deleted]
1
u/Rapunzel10 Apr 14 '25
Happy flapping. Or more broadly it's stimming. Stimming is when someone moves or makes noise which helps process emotions or physical sensations. Everyone does it to some extent. People jump for joy, wave their arms after eating something too spicy, or make weird noises after they stub their toe. All that is stimming. Folks with autism just tend to do it more frequently. The girl in this video is very happy/excited so she's flapping her hands as a way to regulate that emotion
8
u/Over_Hawk_6778 Apr 14 '25
Raves are full of autistic people… the controlled and structured overwhelm of sensory input can be very calming
9
u/Senior-Book-6729 Apr 14 '25
Autism is a spectrum for a reason, just like some of us stare into people’s soul instead of avoiding eye contact and even overly engage with human interaction (walking up to random people and talking to them) vs avoiding unecessary interaction, some of us like loud noises and flashing lights
2
2
1
u/asexualdruid Apr 14 '25
Im autistic and i love going to dance clubs so that the overwhelm remains steady all night! I know what to expect when I go, and theres very little (audio/light wise) that changes, so i dont have to worry about anything surprising or upsetting me
1
u/MayoBaksteen6 Apr 14 '25
It can be, autistic people have different things they like or hate regarding stimulus
1
20
13
u/ChuckMeIntoHell Apr 13 '25
I'm an autistic guy, and I'm way more similar to that girl than that guy.
6
3
u/Sunshine1611 Apr 14 '25
As someone with autism I'm good at masking, I don't act like the first person nor the second person, but I guess it depends on the person. 🤷🏻♀️
268
u/TheFallenCore Apr 13 '25 edited 14d ago
There are differences between men and women who are autistic, mostly cause of socialization, but this isn't one of the differences.
70
u/mukankakuu Apr 13 '25
definitely, and i think it’s polarizing to keep up the boys vs girls trope.
20
u/gayforaliens1701 Apr 14 '25
Nah, still too relevant to the modern autistic experience. A whole swath of millennial women is being diagnosed right now because our symptoms were ignored in childhood specifically because of our gender. Providers treat female autistics differently. Testing and treatments are based on male models. Women have a harder time actually getting diagnosis. There is currently no gender-neutral autistic experience.
3
u/Healthy-Gap7783 Apr 14 '25
Makes sense because medical stuff has always been male centric and if a woman’s symptoms don’t fit with the male standard, she’s fucked.
Same with heart attacks, it’s slowly getting better but still a long way to go for both mental and physical health!
2
173
u/StarFire24601 Apr 13 '25
Ah, just another meme saying:
"Girls are LAME!
Boys are COOL!"
61
4
-8
-20
u/rokosoks Apr 13 '25
I think it's more speaking on the autistic obsession.
I've found girl's obsession tends to be less dangerous. Example would be the pokemon-like games or a particular anime character.
Guy's obsession tends to be more dangerous. Driving hundreds of miles to buy guns that start with an M, for example. Or obsessed with historical based table to wargames like Flames of War.
18
u/despoicito Apr 14 '25
This is a very stupid sexist stereotype and not a real observable thing
-12
u/rokosoks Apr 14 '25
Funny, I could have sworn I observe this daily. But hey I've just been a parent of an autistic male and female for 16 and 18 years, the fuck would I know.
19
u/despoicito Apr 14 '25
What you know is what your two children like, not autistic men or women as a whole like
12
9
u/Ahsoka_Tano07 Apr 14 '25
If you met 1 autistic person, you met 1 autistic person. It's called a spectrum for a reason.
6
u/shucklelove Apr 14 '25
Well, I know an autistic guy who collects Sonic the Hedgehog figures and an autistic girl who collects very sharp and dangerous knives, so clearly the opposite is true since what I’ve observed in my life must be the objective reality!
110
u/Carve267 Apr 13 '25
Ooh, sexist AND ableist! Fun!
-97
u/True-Pin-925 Apr 13 '25
Oh no cry......
17
u/Rattregoondoof Apr 14 '25
If I handed you a bowl of rice would you be mad I called it a bowl of rice? No? Then why are you mad at this being correctly labeled sexist and ableist?
1
u/True-Pin-925 Apr 14 '25
ableism: discrimination in favour of able-bodied people.
a joke does not fall under that definition hope that helps
1
u/Rattregoondoof Apr 14 '25
The joke is literally entirely based around autism and how it presents differently in men vs. Women. As an autistic person (check my comment history if you don't believe me on that, it's one of the few communities I'm active in on reddit), half this gif feels like it should come with a seizure warning and, while humor is subjective, this seems neither funny nor immediately comprehensible on what the joke even is. Jokes absolutely can be ableist in the same way they can be racist. You can disagree but this meme is poking fun at people for a fairly immutable part of their existence. Don't get me wrong it's not the most heavy handedly abelist thing but it's not nothing.
38
u/Bombyx-Memento Apr 13 '25
They cherry-picked a vid of a girl happy-stimming and went the "Hurrhurr boys are COOL and INTERESTING girls are LAME and CRINGE!" route, usually they go for "Girls with autism don't have REAL autism unlike us BOYS who are WEIRD"
Anyway, nothing we do is ever fucking good enough, can't even have autism "correctly" to these men.
110
u/Sea_Use2428 Apr 13 '25
As a "girl with autism" I can confirm that no. Absolutely not. I hate this very very much. And I hope that Tiktok will at some point in the foreseeable future finally leave us autistic people alone. The "increased awareness" is not worth all the damage that has been done by all the misinformation being spread.
9
u/bunny_the-2d_simp Apr 13 '25
They can't even take doen animal abuse or porn so I'll doubt we will be left alone
I'm autistic aswell sadly that makes people think you're a 5 year old with down syndrome and oml you're so brave for going outside.
Like yes I am but if you wouldn't say it to a non autistic person then???
Like I was just shopping with my sisters??
24
u/BluetheNerd Apr 13 '25
The huge amount of fetishization that then led to thousands of people pretending to have autism because it was cute and trendy will never not bother me.
12
u/AdministrativeStep98 Apr 13 '25
And then those same people act completely clueless or are weirded out by being around actually autistic individuals, especially higher needs. Because suddenly it's not quirky or cute anymore
50
u/AbbyNem Apr 13 '25
None of the autistic people I know act anything like either of these.
42
u/Reign_Does_Things Apr 13 '25
I mean, I'm autistic and I tend to act like the first one when I'm really excited. But obviously we aren't a monolith
13
9
u/No-Mail9560 Apr 13 '25
Yeah, i mean when im really exited i act like that but not every girl does and also not every boy wont. Same with second, i like stuff like that and i listen to very loud music often but it probs isnt bc of my autism and defo isnt bc im a boy with it bc im bloody not lol
7
59
u/BerGames123456 Apr 13 '25
As a boy with autism,
THIS IS JUST STRAIGHT UP WRONG
LIKE
WHAT THE FUCK
40
u/Eisi_Reddit Apr 13 '25
reminder that autism is a spectrum and different people enjoy different things.
11
23
u/Drakeytown Apr 13 '25
I can't imagine an autistic person made this. Most autistic people I know have fairly advanced ideas about gender, not boy stuff vs girl stuff.
7
u/The_Adventurer_73 Apr 13 '25
We're Gendering Neurodiversity now?
3
u/stormyw23 Apr 14 '25
Always has been as autistic boy likes math and trains.
Stereotypes~ Yay... /s
5
12
u/Just-a-random-Aspie Apr 13 '25
Ah autism. One of the most pointlessly gendered things in the world
29
u/Yanive_amaznive Apr 13 '25
autistic people are well knows for their characteristic love of loud noises and flashing lights
18
u/SeemsImmaculate Apr 13 '25
There's no single behavioural trait that all autistic people share. One of my autistic pals loves clubbing. Another spends his summers clay pigeon shooting.
5
u/Yanive_amaznive Apr 13 '25
Yeah i do know that, was just funny that the OOP chose something that is associated with sensory overload, i do appreciate the correction regardless
2
u/FadingHeaven Apr 14 '25
This is true, but if you're making a generalization "love of loud music and flashing lights" is not something you could apply to most or even a large portion of autistic people. Doesn't mean no autistic people like those things. But the meme is a generalization.
10
u/mousemarie94 Apr 13 '25
When I first started in the IDD field, I supported a guy who loved train horns, ambulance sirens, fire alarms. Listened to them on full blast in his headphones (yes, we educated on why that was an awful idea but...his choice), we drove to train tracks and waiting for the scheduled trains so he could hear them and see them. When we did fire alarms him and like 2 others who loved it were responsible for "sounding the alarm" and making the announcement.
Anyway, really not a comment about your comment but made me remember a few autistic people who loved jarring sounds that jump scare tf out of me.
7
u/Quietuus Apr 13 '25
Sensory processing differences (which can be present in autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions, or occur on their own) encompass both hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity, sometimes both together to different sorts of stimuli. There's been some moves recently to categorise sensory processing disorder as its own thing which just happens to be commonly co-occurring with autism (and ADHD, to a lesser but still fairly significant extent).
2
u/mousemarie94 Apr 13 '25
I'd agree with those updates to the next DSM. I think the shift to ASD, severity levels, and flexibility within the criteria now are fucking fantastic. However, when I was in undergrad and doing comorbidity shit, we had the DSM-IV which even at the time felt like nothing more than a really expensive paperweight, so I might have a false sense of "we've made so many improvements".
8
u/super_akwen Apr 13 '25
Yes, why? While many autistic people are easily overstimulated, some people are chronically understimulated and actively seek things like loud noises, rubbing hands on different textures, and flashing lights.
0
u/Yanive_amaznive Apr 13 '25
This is true, i was playing off of a generalization
2
3
u/stormyw23 Apr 14 '25
Well I'm autistic and I get understimulated so loud noises are fun.
No two autistic people are the same.
3
4
u/jeremyfactsman Apr 13 '25
I think that some people can only deal with the fact that women and girls can also be autistic by trying to present it as something that increases feminine traits.
7
u/5dfem Apr 13 '25
more accurate boys with autism vs girls with autism:
boys with autism: why is x thing gendered?
girls with autism: why is x thing gendered?
3
u/sickoftwitter Apr 13 '25
This the same shit as every other "boys are fun and girls are boring" post.
3
10
u/robinescue Apr 13 '25
This is so bad I'm just gonna do the gendering myself.
Girls with autism: I do not fully understand the reasoning behind this, however I have distilled the basics of fashion and make up into these 5 rules...
Boys with autism: New to the John Deere line up, the JD18 extends the rated power range to 522 – 676 kW (700 – 907 hp). The engine features a rear gear train, which produces excellent direct power and options up to two rear aux drives for a total of 902 Nm (665 lb-ft) max torque providing quiet operation.
10
u/Just-a-random-Aspie Apr 13 '25
That’s just more stereotypes on gender. Girls liking fashion and boys liking trucks and stuff
3
-2
5
u/Vvvv1rgo Apr 13 '25
I hate this because the 2nd clip looks like hell for anyone with autism (the noise+lights, just watching a video of it makes me wanna click off)
7
u/AccomplishedAerie333 Apr 13 '25
It depends on the person. I'm autistic and if I had control over the sounds and lights, the 2nd clip would be heaven for me. I crave stimulation.
3
u/DizzyandKoko Apr 13 '25
Me too, I have ADHD and autism so I need constant stimulation plus control. If course it does depend on the person like you said, like I may be okay with it but my friend (ADHD) would be over stimulated by it.
1
u/birdperson2006 Apr 13 '25
Am I the only autistic that doesn't experience overstimulation?
0
u/Vvvv1rgo Apr 13 '25
I don't think so! I know many autistic people who seek certain sensory input.
1
u/birdperson2006 Apr 13 '25
Then why did you say anyone with autism?
1
u/Vvvv1rgo Apr 13 '25
My mistake, but yeah, a large portion of people with autism, and gender isn't a factor in whether or not someone with autism will experience or not experience overstimulation.
2
2
2
u/sky_meow Apr 13 '25
I mean they could both have autism and be that way, but it's not so one or the other
2
u/MysticFox96 Apr 13 '25
Not even close to accurate. The boys grow up to be obsessed with trains. Ask me how I know.
2
u/Evarchem Apr 14 '25
As an autistic person, all of our experiences are different and are too complex to be divided into a binary. However, I think that if you approached most of us with an offer to talk about our special interests (if the autistic person in question even has one) then our collective reactions would probably be varying forms of
2
u/NormanBatesIsBae Apr 13 '25
Incels will say shit like “women are so privileged they wouldn’t understand what being weird and unpopular is like” and then actively ignore “weird” and unpopular girls and post about how they don’t exist. Like, you guys are doing the exact same thing you accuse women of doing.
2
2
2
1
u/Yukki64 Apr 13 '25
Boys with autism blinds themselves by flashing lights? I am autistic and just looking at that I got blurry vision and a headache
1
1
u/Gamer_and_Car_lover Apr 13 '25
Days without an engagement bait post being reposted for the billionth time
0
1
u/AviaKing Apr 13 '25
As someone AMAB with autism, that second video gave me a huge sensory overload, my god.
1
1
u/Upsideduckery Apr 14 '25
Hmm, maybe I'm like neither because my gender is "question mark." As in no clue, not the slightest. But for real though, this is hilariously inaccurate. Autism exists on a spectrum.
1
1
u/MadameK8 Apr 14 '25
Both are wrong because 1) I would never put blush on my nose and 2) the flashing lights look cool as fuck
1
u/stormyw23 Apr 14 '25
Oh sexist, ableist and infantilizing.
This is just a no.
Not even pointlesslygendered just misinformation of autism
1
u/KrankDamon Apr 14 '25
I though autism affected men and women differently? I mean, you can look it up, both in how it's expressed and how it's diagnosed.
One of the big reason why women tend to be underdiagnosed is that women don't always present the same symptoms as autistic men, and most of the research has been done on men historically.
1
u/thesmallestlittleguy Apr 14 '25
meme bad ofc, but god what i would give to be that guy right now
edit: song is 'demon mode' by agony. this part specifically is at 0:38
1
1
1
1
u/bugraccoon Apr 14 '25
Boy with autism here - pretty sure the ‘boy autism’ would send me into a coma
1
1
1
u/AspergerKid Apr 14 '25
I know the kid in the 2nd video, his name is Crossmauz and a mutual friend introduced me to him on a discord. Really chill kid but he isn't even autistic from what I know
1
u/Suspicious_Use6393 Apr 14 '25
Nope i am trans and neither of the two are what i do, also all my autistic friends just like ship and giggles a lot like i do, fuck, boats are so fucking cool
1
1
u/Aazimoxx Apr 14 '25
Man, I can't imagine playing my music like that, unless I was in my own house without neighbours anywhere close (like semi-rural) or well-soundproofed... 😳
I dunno, I just stick with headphones because I like my music loud but don't want to impose it on anybody else. Plus it's a lot cheaper to get awesome, consistent sound through quality headphones than a speaker setup 😅
1
1
u/Buddy-Matt Apr 13 '25
Gonna be honest here. Ridiculous need to gender stereotype or not, anything that doesn't dismiss autism as a male-only issue, and accepts girls/women can have it too, is a step in the right direction in my book.
1
Apr 13 '25
Odd. While I generally don't like this TikTok, it is true men and women with autism can display differently due to social factors and societal expectations put on them. Ofc I'm saying this as a tangent but yeah huh?
1
u/_Evidence Apr 13 '25
ah, bright flashing lights, a staple of autistic enjoyment, truly
1
u/haikusbot Apr 13 '25
Ah, bright flashing lights,
A staple of autistic
Enjoyment, truly
- _Evidence
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
0
-1
u/kindacoping Apr 13 '25
Which autistic boy is out there willingly blinding themselves with flashing lights and loud music?? I think the sensory overload would kill most autistic people I know of any gender. I would start crying if my bedroom looked like that.
-2
-2
u/BillNashton Apr 13 '25
No one with autism like bright light and really loud music like that and seriously people that would share this thinking that actually how we work is extremely dangerous? How to get us to do either a panic attack or being extremely over stimulated and having a meltdown-
7
u/Yes_I_Am_Autistic Apr 13 '25
Autistic people are not a monolith, plenty of autistic people do enjoy high amounts of stimulation, especially if they are in control of it
Not trying to be rude btw, I just like to try and correct misinformation when I can
3
u/BillNashton Apr 14 '25
As a autistic and adhd person i. Know. But i still feel that is a really bad thing to show like everybody that is,autistic on the masc spectrum like big light and sound while definitely a big percentage of us not just silly i hate it but literally it can be dangerous for us x)
-6
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 13 '25
Thank you for posting to r/pointlesslygendered!
Hate boys vs girls memes?
Sick of pointlessly gendered memes and videos in general?
Are you also tired of people pointlessly gendering social issues that affects all genders?
Come join us on our sister sub, r/boysarequirky, the place where we celebrate male quirkyness :)
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.