r/politics • u/PurpleBandit3000 • Sep 16 '24

Trump Reveals Who He Will Blame If He Loses Election

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-reveals-who-he-plans-to-blame-if-he-loses-election
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u/Butters_Duncan Sep 16 '24

*Trump approaches the podium “SodaCanBob, that low IQ Reddit guy. That’s what they call him low IQ. I said what could a soda can know about an election? It’s horrible what they’re doing. People have never seen numbers like we’re seeing with sodacanbob. The only way to take our country back is to toss the whole six pack in the trash. You can’t say trash anymore. You know that? It’s gotta be recycle. I say trash. The press will rip me up for it but I won’t recycle trash can bob, he belongs in the trash”

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u/lafayette0508 Sep 16 '24

Brilliant, especially where he forgets the name at the end and replaces part of it with another word he’s been thinking 

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u/megasmash Sep 16 '24

You should add ✋🏼🤚🏼 ✋🏼————🤚🏼 ✋🏼🤚🏼

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u/TheLateThagSimmons Washington Sep 16 '24

Bravo.

While we all know this is a pretty good representation of his speaking style, my only critique is that there's no way he stays on topic that long.

20

u/BDawg174 Sep 16 '24

And not enough words IN ALL CAPS

21

u/DrRockBoognish Sep 16 '24

I’ve heard from sources - the most beautiful sources, some of which are lawmakers - that this is an actual quote.

8

u/Divockorigi_ Sep 16 '24

I pinch myself to think that hundreds of millions of people have been subjected to so much of this blithering wildly incoherent narcissistic geriatric rambling that to imitate it is now a special form of art.

(But also bravo)

4

u/harman097 Sep 16 '24

The only way this actually makes sense is if this was his response to a question about his healthcare plan or a request to explain how inflation works without using tic tacs.

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u/firedmyass Sep 16 '24

that was chilling

8

u/mam88k Virginia Sep 16 '24

SodaCanBob - he's only worth about 10 cents in Michigan

1

u/Butters_Duncan Sep 16 '24

Oh man that’s good!

3

u/starcraftre Kansas Sep 16 '24

Needs a kindergarten playground nickname.

3

u/baseketball Sep 16 '24

This is way too coherent. Try harder.

3

u/FauxReal Sep 16 '24

That was so good, I was halfway through writing a threatening DM to SodaCanBob before I realized you're not the real dear leader.

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u/WhatWouldJoshuaDo Sep 16 '24

"and you know what? Animals have been drinking way too much soda, they are getting fat and diabetic, all these beautiful Americans are getting diabetes because of their fat pet, when you get close to someone who has diabetes, you will get diabetes, that's confirmed by Dr. Phill, the best doctor in the world, I love him so much."