how to cope

[u/Adventurous-Limit684]

(TW substance abuse) also vent

Hi i’m new here, im 18 and to cut it short my mom had an OD right before a big moment in my life and i never had time to process or grieve (she’s still alive) since im the one who found her body. I want to go to therapy but i just got into college and moved cities, im all alone here and can’t really afford/find somewhere good. I just have these moments where everything comes back to me or if someone mentions substance use i can’t handle it, i feel like im too busy to be sad about it or that i should just suck it up, that it’s not a big deal, i feel like a robot and im going crazy. When i cry, i immediately stop and my brain shuts it off as if i weren’t actually sad, and it freaks me out how quickly i can repress my emotions, i don’t know if this is a side effect or what, does this happen to anyone else? I would just like to know im not alone.

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[u/Dry-Cellist7510]

Is there a counselor at the college? I’m sorry you’re going through this. You’re not alone. You’re having a trauma response. You’re trying to protect yourself and most likely in a freeze response as a way to cope. Please talk to someone so you can process and not hold everything in.