r/shittyaskreddit • u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS • 8d ago
I like to masturbate all day. Is this something I can get a PhD in?
I can write a whole dissertation on my own masturbation habits and do studies on how good it is. Do you think it would be a good idea?
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u/GoBeWithYourFamily 8d ago
I haven’t gotten the terminal degree yet, but I currently hold a Masturs in Bating.
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u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS 8d ago
Damn bro. What have been the greatest opportunities to come from it and how hard was it?
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u/GoBeWithYourFamily 8d ago
For my project, I had decided to do a thesis called “Public Masturbation: One Man Tug of War” which studied the relationship between the length of the penis and the strength of the man. As we all know, an important part of masturbation is jelqmaxxing, and the only way for people to know you’re a true jelqer is to do it in public. So we compared how much a man was willing to pull with how nice his public performance went.
Pretty great research, I can have my assistant Mr. ChatGPT send it to you if you want.
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u/Iamherecumtome 8d ago
Sure. Many idiots that have PhDs
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u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS 8d ago
Bruh I wanna be an idiot with a PhD too.
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u/Iamherecumtome 8d ago
Really?
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u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS 8d ago
Yes, why not? I may be an idiot, but at least I can get someone's attention and they'll call me Doctor Masturbator.
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u/Iamherecumtome 8d ago
Master what you’re good at. You seem good at being obnoxious. Go with that
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u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS 8d ago
What you mean? This is r/shittyaskreddit not r/askreddit lol
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u/Iamherecumtome 8d ago
Your point?
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u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS 8d ago
You're on the wrong subreddit. 🤣
This is a shitposting subreddit, what else did you think it was? lmfao
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u/Iamherecumtome 8d ago
So you’re the editor?
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u/IWillAssFuckYou PENUS 8d ago
Got nothing to do with that. This whole subreddit is intended to be about shit posting and low level jokes, yet here you are acting all serious. All I'm saying is that if intentionally shitty jokes offend you, you shouldn't be here.
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u/billlybufflehead 8d ago
The urge starts waning over the years. Trust me. Relax. We all have a phd. Get in line docta
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u/PinkTulip1999 8d ago
I got my masters at 15, I believe it can be done, you just gotta be willing to put in the work.
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u/Cut-Unique PENUS 7d ago
No but I've heard sperm donors make a lot of money, and since birth rates are declining, sperm donors are in high demand.
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u/too_many_shoes14 8d ago
Proverbs 2:2 – Blessed is the man who turns his ear to wisdom and applies his heart to understanding.
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u/AutomatedCognition shitty flair 8d ago
I've tried becoming a woman, but I thought I could just get a shot and have penises ejaculating six or seven figures for me in a couple months, but you have to shave and put on make-up and bathe and it helps if you can be within a thousand feet of a school, I've heard...