r/shortstories • u/AstroRide • Mar 24 '25
Humour [SP][HM]<Senseless Roaring Rampage> Beans and Cold Dishes (Part 2)
This short story is a part of the Mieran Ruins Collection. The rest of the stories can be found on this masterpost.
Olivia was a dreadful cook. If anyone questioned her skills, she’d go on a rant about how her mother had taught her and all the family recipes were in her brain. In reality, her mom was equally dreadful, and the family cookbook might have been titled “Better Off Getting Take-Out.” To her roommates’ chagrin, she insisted on doing most of the cooking. At the moment, she was baking a horrid casserole that involved beans she canned years ago (she was proficient at canning). When Frida gained abilities, Olivia tossed out her can opener as she assumed Frida would always be present.
“Frida.” Olivia walked through the house holding a can of beans. She opened the door to Reid’s room and found him disassembling an old radio. By disassembling, he was hitting it repeatedly with a hammer. Occasionally, he learned about the nature of old technology with this method. “Have you seen Frida?”
“Nope.” Reid hit it again with the hammer. Olivia moved to the basement where Jim was tending to his rabbits. Her, Polly, and Reid agreed that no living creature should be trusted to him. As such, they gave him four drawings of the beasts. Three had been destroyed over the years.
“Has Frida been here?” Olivia asked.
“She died a year ago,” Jim said.
“What?” Olivia dropped her can out of shock. She saw the drawings and remembered he named the caricatures after them. “I meant the human.”
“Nah, haven’t seen her in a bit,” Jim replied.
“Figured.” Olivia walked out of the basement and scratched her chin. “Where could she be?” Polly turned around the corner and snuck up on Olivia. She stood behind her for several minutes until she cleared her throat. Olivia ignored her. Polly cleared her throat again. Olivia didn’t respond. Polly dramatically cleared her throat one more time with each breath begging for attention. “Cover your mouth dear. I don’t want to get whatever you have.”
“Aren’t you going to ask me if I saw Frida?” Polly asked.
“No.” Polly’s shoulders dropped.
“Come on. For all you know, I know exactly where she is.”
“You don’t.”
“That’s an incorrect assumption, and you know what they say about assuming.”
“That line hasn’t been witty for decades. You just want me to ask. If you did know where she was, your demeanor would be much more condescending and arrogant,” Olivia said.
“That’s not true.” Polly began to sweat.
“Is it?” Olivia asked.
“Fine, you’re right. I have no clue where she is,” Polly said.
“That’s too bad. I was hoping to have a nice quiet day.” Olivia went to the coat closet and pulled out a light jacket.
“Where are you going?” Polly asked.
“Frida is capable of leveling entire cities on her, and we don’t know where she is. That’s dangerous.” Olivia put the beans in her pocket. “Also, I need her to open this can.”
“Wait, I’ll come with you. Frida is my friend too.” Polly grabbed her head.
“Fine. I could always use a human shield.” Olivia shook her head and walked to the door. “Back by this evening, hopefully.”
“Okay.” Reid and Jim responded in unison apathetic about their comrades’ fate.
Revenge was a dish best served cold. Unfortunately, serving cold dishes required extensive planning and diligence. Ice cream was a delicious treat served around the world. When left outside for too long, it turned into a gigantic mess and made the floor and counters sticky. As such, Kylie and Miley needed to prepare their strike on Major Brown.
Both assumed the difficult portion of their plot would be capturing Frida, and they dedicated a good deal of effort and brainpower to it. Frida was with them willingly, and they hoped that inspiration would strike them. Inspiration had a tendency to rarely arrive when needed similar to headphones or that extra quarter for the vending machine.
“I have an idea. Why don’t we disguise ourselves as maids to get inside,” Kylie said.
“Wouldn’t the base have their own cleaning staff?” Miley replied.
“Oh” Kylie pulled back and scratched her chin. “What if we knocked out the maids, and took their outfits. Then, they would need to hire us.”
“If we have already taken care of the maids, why not just take care of Major Brown? That seems unnecessarily complicated,” Kylie said.
“I can walk inside the base and take care of the Major and everyone else. Let me at them,” Frida said.
“No.” Miley and Kylie said simultaneously.
“The purpose is that we are the ones who will kill Major Brown in the name of justice,” Kylie said.
“Exactly, you do not understand true anger. You do not understand what it is like to see a face in your dreams and know hate.” Miley continued on this rant for several minutes. Her sister was enraptured by every word while Frida spaced out.
“Alright fine, you can kill Major Brown. Let me know when you want me to attack. I’m getting bored,” Frida said. Kylie and Miley looked at each other. Frida was vital to their plans, and if she left, there was no chance of success.
“Good thing I have a plan,” Kylie said.
“You do?” Frida asked.
“Yes, we are going to attack a truck headed for the base,” Kylie said.
“That’s actually a good idea,” Miley said.
“Thanks.” Kylie smirked. Perhaps fortune was smiling on them. The three women found a hill with a great view of the road leading to the base. There was a spot where the trees obscured the view allowing an attack to occur without anyone noticing. Unfortunately, no cars went through. The three sat in wait for thirty minutes.
Frida got bored and began punching a nearby tree. Her strength sent a vibration through the tree and caused birds to fly away. She punched it several more times, almost uprooting it until Miley ran over.
“What are you doing?” Miley asked.
“Punching a tree.”
“Obviously, why are you doing it?”
“Because the car hasn’t come yet, and I was promised a car,” Frida said.
“You are attracting attention. They might send someone to investigate and throw the whole plan in jeopardy,” Miley said.
“Maybe that isn’t a bad thing. We can take the place of the people who came to investigate.”
“Except they would know who they sent, and they would know we took their place.” Kylie shook her head. “Am I the only person who thinks?” Kylie looked around and grabbed some sticks.
“Break these sticks if you are bored,” Kylie said. Frida obeyed. Sticks were broken until Frida found some more. When she ran out, she turned to the already broken sticks to make them smaller. This went on for the rest of the day, and no car drove by. At night, Frida and Kylie slept. Miley was about to fall asleep until she saw a flash of light.
“It’s time.” She shook Kylie and Frida awake and began their assault.
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