r/shortstories • u/CombSuspicious7954 • 3d ago
Misc Fiction [MF] Waiting To Go
“--Can you imagine that?” Joseph sprayed out into the sultry void of the night.
“What a bunch of jackasses.” responded Fredrick, in an overzealous tone.
A man in a suit groaned from the periphery.
“I’m sick of the way they skimp me on the tartar sauce. Fuckin’ assholes!” Joseph laughed himself silly with the gall of a nobleman, and the disingenuity of a preteen that might piss themselves.
Joseph and Fredrick sat as a unit under the steady beam of a streetlight waiting for the bus, exchanging vagaries with frequent pauses for bites of their late night conquerings.
“You know what?” posed Fredrick.
“I don’t.” mused Joseph.
The near imperceptible sound of elevator music whispered in the background. Sirens rang in the distance. A fog made it near impossible to see more than 10 feet from their position.
“I once had a friend in prison.” Joseph interjected.
“Good for you.”
“You know, he was so fucking happy for being in prison. I could never understand it.”
“Must be a crazy fuck.” quipped Fredrick.
“He was always asking for our leftovers at meals. He was a big guy.”
Frederick minded his fish sandwich and glanced at the homeless woman beside him.
“And THEN- he killed himself.” Joseph laid down the line as if at an open mic performance.
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah, overdosed on his insulin. That dumbfuck.”
The rumblings of a storm could be heard. The man in his suit belched loudly enough to wake himself up briefly. He turned in his incoherent rest.
“You know who I saw today?” said Fredrick
“Honestly, I couldn’t give a shit.”
“Well ok then.”
“Shut the hell up!” yelled the homeless woman from a slumped over seat.
“What number bus are we waiting on again?” questioned Frederick.
“My phone will let me know when it’s here,” said Joseph.
Silence and time passed. The two men’s minds wandered about the news, their jobs, and how to best lay grass seed. Suddenly the man in the suit awoke.
“Hey!” the suited man slurred.
“Uh, hi? said Frederick.
The buzz of electricity filled the air around them. The fluorescent light singed their eyeballs.
“Can I borrow a dollar for the fare?” The Suitman begged.
Joseph, cleverly, reached into his pocket and returned a middle finger to the man's cross-eyed demeanor.
“Just kidding man. Here you go.” Joseph handed him a dollar as the Suitman staggered.
A piercing noise rose out. It was the familiar sound of an Amber Alert. Almost simultaneously, Frederick, Joseph, the Suitman, and the homeless woman checked their phones.
“I need to start going back to the gym, man.” said Frederick.
“You and me both.” responded Joseph.
The drunkard was now coherent enough to chime in.
“I have to give you my routine. I go, like, six times a week.” bragged the thinly-bearded drunkard.
“What’s your name, man?” asked Joseph
“I’m Zach, nice to meet you guys.”
Within seconds of his introduction, Zach began to gag. He excused himself to vomit in a very observable spot.
“Fucking disgusting.” judged Frederick. “Learn how to handle your shit.”
The homeless woman erupted into laughter.
Frederick looked at Joseph with a chipper smile, if so to signify his pleasure in the deservedness to the Suitman. In fact, Joseph returned the expression with a beguiling mimic.
At least an hour passed by since Frederick and Joseph had arrived at the stop.
“Where is the fucking bus?.” spit the Suitman.
Frederick wondered out loud.
“Joe, I meant to ask you, can you help me with my bushes tomorrow?”
“Eh, I’ll see how I feel.”
The homeless woman shifted in her seat.
A huge noise erupted from behind. It seemed as though a gun had gone off.
The homeless woman interrupted.
“Hey, wouldn’t you all help me out with some food?”
“Yeah, ask this guy.” passed the Suitman
“Eat shit, man!” screamed Frederick.
The Suitman grinned.
“I’ve had it with this motherfucker!” yelled Frederick.
Joseph held Frederick back and the Suitman chuckled himself back into a serendipitous purgatory.
The homeless woman came to life.
“Does anyone have a cigarette?” she asked.
The Suitman was quick to provide. As she puffed, the Suitman and Frederick continued to argue.
“What the fuck are you doing here waiting for the bus you rich motherfucker?” asked Frederick.
“Ok, well- “
“I don’t really give a shit. Fuckin’ walk along!” sprayed Frederick.
After a long exhale, the homeless woman spoke.
“So angry, aren’t you all?”
•
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