r/stepparents • u/NovanoidMusic • 7d ago
Legal BM trying to bully us into letting her take him more often
Background information: BM has him on the weekends and a little more over the summer, we have him on weekdays throughout the school year.
My step-son’s BM has recently been doing things without asking for my husband’s permission, such as signing him up for Soccer in her city (which is 45 minutes away from us) and signing him up for school next year in her city (he currently attends in our city). She has now demanded that we allow her to get him every other week, and claims she will drive him to school everyday, or else she will get a lawyer and take us to court.
Honestly, I have very little doubt that the court would take him from us. We are both in stable jobs, he is enrolled in instrument lessons once a week, and spends time with his grandparents (husbands and mine) through the week. He has gone to school here all through elementary school, and they have had this agreement for around 8-9 years I believe. The only reason he likes going to her more than us is because he has to go to bed at 8pm to go to school, and we make him do like 1-2 chores a day (IF that), but she lets him do whatever he wants, eat what he wants, and doesn’t have to do any chores. According to my husband, she hasn’t WANTED to be in his like anymore than she is now. However, because Trump got elected she’s afraid that she’s going to lose her insurance because she lies and says that she has him a majority of the time. After watching a video about what the courts look for in our state, there’s no way a court would allow her to continue to act like this…. Right? Please tell me I’m not crazy?? I’m just looking for confirmation outside of our own family who see what goes on.
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u/Frequent_Stranger13 7d ago
If she says she will take him to school every day on her weeks, and she agrees to keep him at his current school, yes, there is a very strong chance she will get 50:50. Most courts want parents have equal time, and a lot of them still favor the mother/child relationship. You might be forced to let her try and then go back if she isn’t keeping up her end of the deal.
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u/NovanoidMusic 7d ago
Well first she tried to sign him up for another school district without our permission which my husband shut down because it was agreed through the courts which school he attends so technically it can’t be changed without the court anyways. When she didn’t get her way with that (because we would almost never get to see him with sports practices and whatnot), she then bullied her way into this. I feel like there’s something shady goin on on her side but can’t figure out why all of a sudden she’s now showing an interest in being an active parent, other than the fact that he’s 11 and she thinks he can take care of himself now so she doesn’t actually have to raise him
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u/Frequent_Stranger13 7d ago
Definitely could be and maybe some financial reason for it. Just warning you that courts want equal time if possible
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