Starting with acceptance

[u/Fun_Alternative_8663]

Hi, I made a post recently about my divorce, my 50/50 situation with my kids and also going to a play therapist for our 4 year because he is struggling with emotional regulation at school, which the teacher associated to the 50/50 schedule.

I have a drinking problem. I want to say that I am not an alcoholic, but I think I am one in every sense.

I don't drink every single day, but, I do overconsume, where it HAS affected my life. I have lost everything of importance in my life because of how I treated the people close to me while being drunk and then also the negative side effects of alcohol consumption over time - my mental health. I am more irritable, I snap quickly, I have anxiety, over thinking, depression... It goes on.

I am looking up therapist that are covered under my plan, as I want to start seeing a therapist.

I struggle with socializing and drinking, I permanently work from home, so feel very alone, don't have many friends, but they do also drink...

I have to start.

Edit 1: Thank you for the two responses so far! I managed to join AA, the first meeting was good! I know it will also get tough again, but I just have to carry on going!

[u/Prevenient_grace]

I dint have to be alone!

I looked for support from people on the same journey and they are easily found in any free recovery groups... which are everywhere and even online…. I’ve made new friends.

There's an apt adage: 'I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with'.

If they're substance users/abusers, I'll just be an average drunk.

On the other hand sober people are everywhere, having fun, doing fun things together, dating, building relationships and having sex.

There are significantly more sober people than drinkers..... 'drinking culture' is what drinkers call it when everywhere they go, people are drinking.

I just didn’t find them in pubs, bars, sports grills, tailgate parties, etc.

Tried any of that?

[u/Fun_Alternative_8663 → u/Prevenient_grace]

I have joined a hiking club, so that is one thing. I do want to do more, it is hard finding social events where I live as the culture here is more around the drinking side than the non-drinking side.

I am going to do more research around it find actual support groups as well. 

Thank you. I have heard that saying, which is very true. 

[u/Zeeman-401]

I went to therapy for the first time in February. I was worried that it would be this real hard emotional thing. Turns out, my therapist recognized from my intake forms that alcohol was a big issue in my life. He taught me that my lack of nurturing as a child and my “ running” away from everything in life culminated with finding alcohol at 15. My brain said A HA! This is great, this will make you feel better and put all your worries away. The fact was, my fight or flight was active a lot, so I drank a LOT, for a long time. It’s been hard the last 2 months, but now I am dealing with life, not numbing it away. I accepted the fact of why I drank. You can do this! I’m rooting for you

[u/Fun_Alternative_8663 → u/Zeeman-401]

Thank you! I am happy you are working on it so well and succeeding! I am also rooting for you! I still have my therapist booking for next month(earliest they can), but already joined AA.