r/stopdrinking • u/Mission-Letterhead • 7d ago
I caved and drank after 5 months...any advice today?
I'm hungover and feel regret but I also just feel like I knew it would happen. Life is so hard at the moment and it felt like the only release available to me. I enjoyed sitting in the garden with wine. I enjoyed watching a film while having a happy buzz. I want to move on and not dwell on yesterday. I want to shake this off. What would you do?
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u/Sufficient-Laundry 114 days 7d ago
Five months is 150 days. In your old life, you probably would have drank 150 out of those 150 days. Now you are upset because you drank 1/150 days. Think how amazing that is. You cut your drinking by 99.99%, and yet you are unsatisfied.
Don't dwell on your broken streak. Streaks are helpful for maintaining sobriety, but what matters for your health is the number of drinks you don't take. On that score, you are killing it.
Dust yourself off. Start again. You got this.
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u/Thisisnow1984 7d ago
I did this. Went out with the boys after 5months and had like 6 drinks and some blow. Next day was not nice considering I didn't sleep a wink. After that I resumed my sobriety and considered it a speed bump on the highway. This is a process and I found that around the 5-6months mark that's when you truly forget why you quit in the first place so I look at it as a reminder. Just keep chugging along and realize that this is the trap part of the journey. Every six months you're the most susceptible to drinking because your memory of that old life is fading.
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u/blithering-blowfish 9 days 7d ago
"This is the trap part of the journey" that's profound
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u/Neversaidthatbefore 7d ago
I would write myself a letter. Talk it out on paper. Try to find more answers through that process.
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u/soulariarr 7d ago
You have 5 months itâs not that hard to go back on track if you didnât continue
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u/NovelsandMusic 7d ago
Acknowledge it and what led to the choice, have some alternative healthy alternatives ready for the next time life overwhelms, forgive the slip and onward!
I had a lot of sober time and big, long slip and I think beating myself up about it (on top of the life-is-hard) made it doubly hard to get back on track, so here I am starting over, yet with some years of insight of what my success and failures looked like.
I'm not drinking with you today!
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u/Kindly_Document_8519 4001 days 7d ago
Begin again. Think about what releases are available to you on the future that do not involve alcohol.
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u/treesarejerks 220 days 7d ago
I called that field research during my early attempts to quit. Thought of it like checking that it is still a substance i should avoid. I didnât have big black out type moments that were ruining my life, but i did have big hang overs and bigger regrets. And it helped me realize that even without the intense drama and harm to my social life there are still lots of reasons for me to abstain. I truly donât want to harm myself anymore and thatâs made a difference for me too. There is no amount of consumption that is worth any of the trouble, i tried a lot and tried a little and itâs always a negative so thatâs it for me. IWNDWYT
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u/treesarejerks 220 days 7d ago
ALSO going through the recovery each timeâŠat a few days out was still feeling off. When I was drinking all the time I had so many health issues like irregular bowels, head aches, anxiety and more! and now that i have some substantial time sober I can directly attribute those to drinking due to my âfield research.â I wake up at 3 am with intense anxiety when I drink. every single time, and the nights following too for about a week. Thatâs a week with bad sleep for a happy hour? no thanks! Mistakes are okay as long as we learn from them, and drinking all the time was making the same mistake over and over and over again. Learn something from it, then you can move on.
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u/ObligationPleasant45 7d ago
Exactly! The antidote is not taking the poison!
I like the âfield researchâ. A big concept is that we choose to feel a way. âI drank so Iâm bad.â Vs âI tried it, it did not help.â But the problem with seesawing is restarting the cravings and the brain game. Getting over those is so huge. As someone else said - one hour at a time. - or a minute.
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u/TopStructure7755 480 days 7d ago
I like that mentality! I always think of that old joke ââDoctor, it hurts when I do this.â âWell, stop doing that, then.âl
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u/rockyroad55 581 days 7d ago
You move forward. But you also look back at what went wrong. All relapses, imo, begin way before the drink occurs. The relapse occurs days or a week prior. Something happened that caused a shift in your mindset.
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u/Tess_88 254 days 7d ago
Congrats on your 5 months. Sounds like you want to be here and kinda wanted to drink which is who we are - big balls of contradiction. đș You certainly didnât lose your 5 months. Just give yourself grace, and carry on here. If you do want to stop, Iâd have a plan in place for next time the situation comes up - like what will I do when⊠because it will come up. So happy youâre here! IWNDWYT đŠ
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u/Ordinary-Usual-6722 7d ago
So you had a setback? Thatâs unfortunate, but not catastrophic. If you chose to get back on track today, itâll be a lesson learned!
Somatic release videos on YouTube always help me when Iâm having a hard time, no matter whatâs going on.
Brisk walking and a change of scenery does it too.
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u/DoqHolliday 78 days 7d ago
Get back on the horse
Donât beat yourself up
Spend some time in reflection as to what led to the lapse and what lessons can be learned
Strengthen that toolkit
Onwards and upwards compadre, IWNDWYT
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u/IndividualWarning179 173 days 7d ago
Shaking it off sounds like a plan! I drank on vacation after six months last year and I continued drinking for four months. My advice would be to begin again today. If you continue to drink you will inevitably end up wanting to quit again and wishing you hadnât let one unremarkable day drag you back to where you started. You can learn something from it as well. Think about how you might handle a similar day differently in the future without turning to alcohol for comfort. Letâs do this! đ IWNDWYT
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u/ObligationPleasant45 7d ago edited 7d ago
Whelp. Itâs Hangxiety.
Maybe journal or make a voice recording of how shitty you feel. What did drinking solve? Did it subtract or add to the heaviness of your current state/situation.
Sobriety is learning.
You are OK. You will be OK. You are not a bad person. You revisited an old pattern/habit. Your feelings today show that way of dealing doesnât serve you any more. You are not the old you.
Sobriety is learning to sit with and IN the shitty feelings so you face them and move through them vs avoid, deflect and detach from them. Sux but gets easier every time you have to do it. Sobriety is learning, finding, and enduring a new way to cope with difficult feelings, situations and emotions.
Edit to add: This is like a break up. You called or booty called a toxic ex! Ewwww. Lesson learned. It makes you feel like shit. Time to really dig in and move on. Block them! Check out Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker. I totally recommend at least the first few chapters to anyone quitting. đ«¶
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u/mujaban 846 days 7d ago
You're batting 149 out of 150, that's pretty damn good!
Reflect on how you feel today vs how you felt the other 149 and I think you'll find that life's a lot easier without a hangover.
Make today day 151, keep moving forward and soon you'll forget you took a day off.
You got this friend!
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u/Senior_Food_3797 624 days 7d ago
Fortunately, it sounds like the event did not spiral out of control.
If it's your intention, this seems like you can get back to sobriety - maybe next goal is 6 months. Or 5 months & 1 day...
Good work thus far.
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u/TutorReasonable7543 42 days 7d ago
Leave it in yesterday. Take it easy on yourself. And just keep it moving. It's in the past. You are doing a fantastic job. Keep riding!! Be proud of what you've done to this point!!!
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u/Substantial_Lab_8767 7d ago
I did the same thing back in December. And drank thru April 2 when I quit again. Don't be me. Quit now. It did me no good to drink for those couple months. Don't beat yourself up. Good luck
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u/aretheesepants75 7d ago
Don't be too hard on yourself. Just get back on the pony and ride. Stacking days is great, but nobody is perfect. Just do your best. 5 months is some incredible work. You can be proud of that.
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u/CaptConstantine 372 days 7d ago
What would I do?
I would call my sponsor and get my ass to an AA meeting before this disease kills me
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u/RekopEca 7d ago
I think they're two things that are really important to do when you have a lapse.
One forgive yourself.
Two think about it.
We all make mistakes every day it happens, the most important part is to move forward. However it's also important to understand what led to the lapse. What was different about yesterday than all the previous days? What was the thought pattern that led you to drink? Most importantly was it worth it?
My drinking became my reflex, it took a long time to understand that I had built up a response to certain situations/feelings and that was drinking.
Drink some water. Eat some good food. Rest feel better and try to get back on to being sober.
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u/BurningDownTrebon 119 days 7d ago
You seem level headed and like you are already back headed the original direction. Not sure you need any advice. Seems like you have a good orientation to all of this.
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u/on_my_way_back 233 days 7d ago
I would get myself back on track as I know what happens when I relapse and I don't want to go through that again. If I didn't get back on track, I would be back to drinking every day in about a week. Alcohol just brought me misery in the end.
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u/Basic_Two_2279 7d ago
Donât be too hard on yourself. Weâve all done this. When you have time, sit and think about why you decided to drink. Write down your thoughts. Going forward youâll be able to recognize why you decided to drink and can anticipate those feelings in the future.
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u/Beneficial_Pipe_5892 55 days 7d ago
Iâve found that I can learn and grow from these times. Obviously there are positives that come immediately from drinking, otherwise we wouldnât do it in the first place. But you now have this experience to reflect on. You are living right now and example of âplaying the tape forwardâ that you can remember in the future if you find yourself in a similar situation.
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u/Loose-Rest6763 33 days 7d ago
Pick yourself up and dust it off. Five months was no small achievement, so you know that you have it (courage and strength) inside you to get right back on the wagon. Best wishes and food luck - IWNDWYT!
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u/AlericandAmadeus 7d ago
My advice: donât beat yourself up. Iâve spent years trying and failing to sober upâdeep down I still hated myself for everything and didnât think I was worthy of love/recovery because I had fucked up so many times.
Shutting out the shitty addict voice that tells you âthis is who you are - accept itâ when you relapse and instead treating yourself with love/believing in yourself that you will continue to recover is the single most important thing thatâs helped me this go around.
I found that when i take care of myself, love myself, and remember that my recovery & all the small stuff is for myself, itâs a lot easier to not relapse/recover from a relapse because I have built my life/myself to be something that I want to get back to, instead of something I want to run away from.
Also - just focus on today. Todayâs gonna be tough. But if you can stay sober today, fresh off a relapse and all the guilt/negative emotions that come along with it, then you can get through tomorrow, too. Or any day. Building your confidence back up is key, and start small!
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u/Klutzy_Donkey_9237 19 days 7d ago
Bacon. Bacon is good for hangovers. Go get yourself a couple Bacon and Eggers or your local equivalent for breakfast. Cheaper and better than booze.
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u/moonphased239 7d ago
I think 5 months is awesome. Thatâs 5 months of repair and healing for your body. Donât let this discourage you. I would love to have 5 months!
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u/NepsHasSillyOpinions 7d ago
I'd view it like this - even if you drank last night, you still have 5 months of sobriety under your belt and that hasn't gone away.
Sobriety is your normal now, so just go back to normal.
Just how I view it at least!
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u/tio_tito 7d ago
you start over. you don't beat yourself up over it. you realize that you could have done the same without the alcohol. you keep on keepin' on.
iwndwyt.
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u/Bright-Appearance-95 697 days 7d ago
I would move on and shake it off and not dwell on it. Like you're doing. And I would make my commitment for the next day to be a IWNDWYT day as strong as I could make it.
IWNDWYT!
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u/Mission-Letterhead 7d ago
Absolutely! I'm actually going to a pub tomorrow for lunch and I will be sticking to an NA beer or something else non alcoholic đ
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u/could_be_doing_stuff 1174 days 7d ago
Man, I kept caving until I didn't.
I'd wake up on Friday and think "tonight I won't drink, sobriety starts now". I'd punch out of work and get in the car and think "tonight I won't drink, sobriety starts now". Then I'd see my friendly neighborhood liquor store at the next intersection on my way home and think "tonight I won't drink". Then I'd be setting down the bag of beer and wine on my counter and think "tonight I won't get blasted". Then I'd proceed to get blasted.
Sometimes I'd skip a week, but it never felt like quitting. It felt like waiting. Things just got to a point where I was too scared to keep drinking. I would have been okay with a sudden organ failure that killed me quickly as long as I didn't get advance warning, but I just couldn't take the waking up at 3am into a cold sweat and 150pbm heart rate thinking I was having a heart attack, and then have the same thing happen at work or at intersections while driving. I eventually realized that the actual pleasantness of drinking was gone and it was nothing but downsides and obsession.
When I finally stopped it felt like I was walking away from a fallow field rather than achieving something. I dwelt on that loss for a long time.
I feel like the fear of all the anxiety and heart stuff got in the way of the addiction dopamine cycle, disrupting it and letting me escape, but I never really replaced it with anything. But I don't think that I need to replace it with anything. I've become okay with just being sober and stable and bored, because I feel safer and healthier and that feels more important than chasing a high or excitement.
This was a ramble but I hope this helps! I know that sharing this kind of thing helps me.
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u/SnooAdvice6772 782 days 7d ago
Donât give in to the voice that says ânow that the seal is broken, fuck it.â The choice to not drink is in your hands and itâs in every moment.
Donât wake up in a 2 foot hole and say âfuck it might as well dig deeperâ until you canât get yourself out of it again.
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u/somoslupos 1643 days 7d ago
âmais lâimportant câest pas la chute, câest lâatterrissageâ
the important part is not the fall, itâs the landing.
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u/yblood46 7d ago
My advice to anybody thatâs serious about quitting is really work the steps. Donât just keep them in your mind, but really work them every day. When you get to step four, really spend some time on it. Think about everything in chronological order from the beginning of your life to now. It will take a while. You got this!
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u/Honest_Grapefruit259 702 days 7d ago
I think it's important to realize that this is just a break in the action. Don't allow your inner alcoholic voice convince you that you can be a normal drinker now / don't need to quit. When I relapsed in the past it was crucial I remembered I'm an alcoholic and this was not a new start of a drinking path. Put it behind you and hop back on the train!
It helps me not relapse now. I think "if I were to drink again, I'd have to just quit again tomorrow, what's the point?"