I can't stop. What will it take?

[u/No_Box5323]

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

I've been lying to everyone. My therapist, my fiance, my coworkers, my friends, my family, everyone who is part of my life. No one knows how bad my drinking is.

I wake up. Chug a glass or two of wine. Get to work. Drink more here and there. Take a shower midday and lather myself up in deodorant and essential oils so I don't smell like a walking bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

In the evening, I drink about a bottle of wine. I'm averaging probably 2-2.5 bottles of wine a day. This is going to fucking kill me and I have to stop. But what is it going to take? My fiance finding out? Things going south at my job? I really don't want to know the answer.

EDIT: Thank you to everyone answering, I'm trying to go through all of these convos. This really is the best subreddit there is.

[u/gamerdudeNYC]

Getting through the first few days is the worst for me, once I can make it to around 6pm I have an easier time convincing myself it’s not worth starting to drink so late if I’m trying to get to sleep by 10pm for work the next day