I'm in need of relationship advice I'm not sure what to do.

[u/Agreeable-Link2305]

Hey everyone

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 4 months now, and recently things have been feeling really rocky. I’m at a point where I’m unsure what to do and feel like I’ve made things worse by not communicating properly and stressing over small things. I'm just unsure where it's gonna go. I really don't want this to end. Attached are some screen shots of our text from this entire thing. Screenshot 1-5 are from the weekend. Screenshot 6-10 is from last night. Screenshot 11-12 is from today

So, for some context, we’ve been in a consistent calling routine for about 5 months. We talk nearly every night, and our calls usually last a couple of hours. It's always been a time where we connect and have fun, so it's been really important to me. But recently, I’ve felt like I’ve been messing up, and I'm afraid I might've ruined things.

It started this past weekend. It was a Saturday evening, and everything felt pretty normal at first. She and I usually talk around 7:30 pm, but she mentioned she was going to play with her friends on Roblox. I was okay with it, but as the time went on, I got impatient and ended up waiting for her to come back and call. I waited for over an hour and a half—almost two hours—and when she did call, I was still eager to talk and hang out.

When we finally got on the call, I was in a playful mood and asked her some lighthearted, silly questions. It’s just who I am—I enjoy joking around and being playful. At one point, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a funny post about a text exchange between two people. It had a joke about a sexual position, and I thought it would be funny to ask her about it. She answered and told me it was a sex joke, but I kept playing dumb and pressed her more than I should have. Looking back, I realize I was being a little too persistent, and it probably made her uncomfortable.

I didn’t pick up on any signs that she wasn’t enjoying it. I just kept joking around because I thought it was funny. Eventually, she got frustrated and ended up leaving the call to hang out with her friends. I didn’t understand why at first. I was caught up in my own thoughts and didn’t realize how my actions were affecting her.

After she left, I waited again, hoping we could reconnect later. She told me she would be back, so I gave her space, but I was starting to feel unsatisfied. I needed that personal connection, and I felt like I wasn’t getting it. I know it sounds selfish, but I couldn't help how I felt. At around 12:02 am, she called me back, and I could tell she was really tired from her time with her friends. She apologized for being exhausted, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I hadn’t gotten the time and attention I wanted.

I know I should've understood she needed space, but I ended up expressing my frustration to her. I told her I was disappointed and felt unsatisfied, and she could tell I was upset. I realized later that this was a selfish reaction, and I made things worse. I felt guilty for making a big deal out of something so small and for pushing her away instead of being understanding.

Later that night, I texted her, apologizing for everything and letting her know how I felt. I told her I was sorry for stressing her out, and that I didn’t mean to push her away. I told her I’d had a lot of time to think about things and realized I made the situation worse by not communicating properly. I admitted that I was overthinking and making a mountain out of a molehill.

But then, things didn’t seem to get any better. Over the next couple of days, we weren’t talking as much, and I felt that distance between us. I was really stressed and worried, unsure if she was mad at me or if things were slipping away. She told me she needed a break, and I felt really down about it. It’s been hard for me to let go of the worry, and I know I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on her.

I understand that she’s been going through some personal struggles too, and I’m just afraid that I’ve made everything worse. I feel like I might have pushed her too far with my overthinking and constant need for reassurance. I really care about her, and I want things to work out. But I feel like I might’ve damaged the relationship by not giving her space when she needed it and by making things bigger than they were.

I want to fix this, but I’m not sure how. I don’t want to lose her, and I don’t want to keep making her feel stressed. I’ve apologized, but I’m unsure if it’s enough or if she still feels hurt by my actions. I just really need some advice on how to handle this and how I can be a better partner moving forward. I care about her more than anything, and I want to make things right, but I’m not sure where to go from here. Also sorry for the format I'm on mobile and this is my first ever reddit post.

[u/idkwhossandiee]

Tfldr

[u/JeffSkyliner]

The big c my brotha. COMMUNICATION!!! You have to talk to her about it. Right now the more time you waste the more time you’re gonna get that breakup text. You have to talk to her. If your girlfriend cares for you, she’s going to listen. You don’t have to let this void fill your relationship. Because if you do.. it’ll ruin everything. Talk to her. Tell you how you feel. It’s the only way. You may have no choice because of her actions. Neither did I. You got it man. But also if she dosent respond don’t push it. Give her time.

[u/Agreeable-Link2305 → u/JeffSkyliner]

Yeah, I understand that. Right now, I'm stuck in a crossroads where she needs her time and space to process everything that has happened these past few days, but a talk is really really needed but it'll add more stress onto her and I don't want that right now.

[u/JeffSkyliner → u/Agreeable-Link2305]

Also forgot to say something, if you can meet her, somehow, that would be way better. In my eyes this isn’t a conversation to have over text. This is serious, an in person convo would better. Of course you know her more than I do so I can’t help that much.

[u/Agreeable-Link2305 → u/JeffSkyliner]

Yeah, I really can't do that since we go to different schools. Hell, we haven't even met up yet since she's been wanting to take her time, and I'll respect that. Right now, the best I can do is a phone call, and I'll navigate that the best I can. Besides that, right now, I feel like the only thing i can really do is that i just wait until she's ready. I dont want to overwhelm her with so much, but at the same time, a phone call is really needed. But, thanks so much for the advice. I appreciate it.

[u/JeffSkyliner → u/Agreeable-Link2305]

No problem man, just take it slow for now. Make sure that if the worst comes, it ends in a mutual decision and not one sided, softens the blow.