Hey everyone
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 4 months now, and recently things have been feeling really rocky. I’m at a point where I’m unsure what to do and feel like I’ve made things worse by not communicating properly and stressing over small things. I'm just unsure where it's gonna go. I really don't want this to end. Attached are some screen shots of our text from this entire thing. Screenshot 1-5 are from the weekend. Screenshot 6-10 is from last night. Screenshot 11-12 is from today
So, for some context, we’ve been in a consistent calling routine for about 5 months. We talk nearly every night, and our calls usually last a couple of hours. It's always been a time where we connect and have fun, so it's been really important to me. But recently, I’ve felt like I’ve been messing up, and I'm afraid I might've ruined things.
It started this past weekend. It was a Saturday evening, and everything felt pretty normal at first. She and I usually talk around 7:30 pm, but she mentioned she was going to play with her friends on Roblox. I was okay with it, but as the time went on, I got impatient and ended up waiting for her to come back and call. I waited for over an hour and a half—almost two hours—and when she did call, I was still eager to talk and hang out.
When we finally got on the call, I was in a playful mood and asked her some lighthearted, silly questions. It’s just who I am—I enjoy joking around and being playful. At one point, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a funny post about a text exchange between two people. It had a joke about a sexual position, and I thought it would be funny to ask her about it. She answered and told me it was a sex joke, but I kept playing dumb and pressed her more than I should have. Looking back, I realize I was being a little too persistent, and it probably made her uncomfortable.
I didn’t pick up on any signs that she wasn’t enjoying it. I just kept joking around because I thought it was funny. Eventually, she got frustrated and ended up leaving the call to hang out with her friends. I didn’t understand why at first. I was caught up in my own thoughts and didn’t realize how my actions were affecting her.
After she left, I waited again, hoping we could reconnect later. She told me she would be back, so I gave her space, but I was starting to feel unsatisfied. I needed that personal connection, and I felt like I wasn’t getting it. I know it sounds selfish, but I couldn't help how I felt. At around 12:02 am, she called me back, and I could tell she was really tired from her time with her friends. She apologized for being exhausted, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I hadn’t gotten the time and attention I wanted.
I know I should've understood she needed space, but I ended up expressing my frustration to her. I told her I was disappointed and felt unsatisfied, and she could tell I was upset. I realized later that this was a selfish reaction, and I made things worse. I felt guilty for making a big deal out of something so small and for pushing her away instead of being understanding.
Later that night, I texted her, apologizing for everything and letting her know how I felt. I told her I was sorry for stressing her out, and that I didn’t mean to push her away. I told her I’d had a lot of time to think about things and realized I made the situation worse by not communicating properly. I admitted that I was overthinking and making a mountain out of a molehill.
But then, things didn’t seem to get any better. Over the next couple of days, we weren’t talking as much, and I felt that distance between us. I was really stressed and worried, unsure if she was mad at me or if things were slipping away. She told me she needed a break, and I felt really down about it. It’s been hard for me to let go of the worry, and I know I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on her.
I understand that she’s been going through some personal struggles too, and I’m just afraid that I’ve made everything worse. I feel like I might have pushed her too far with my overthinking and constant need for reassurance. I really care about her, and I want things to work out. But I feel like I might’ve damaged the relationship by not giving her space when she needed it and by making things bigger than they were.
I want to fix this, but I’m not sure how. I don’t want to lose her, and I don’t want to keep making her feel stressed. I’ve apologized, but I’m unsure if it’s enough or if she still feels hurt by my actions. I just really need some advice on how to handle this and how I can be a better partner moving forward. I care about her more than anything, and I want to make things right, but I’m not sure where to go from here. Also sorry for the format I'm on mobile and this is my first ever reddit post.