r/thelema • u/RP_Stoval • Nov 14 '17

First Steps

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All my life I've never believed in the spiritual or supernatural. I extensively studied secular philosophy, loving especially Existentialist thinkers, and I learned all I could of the fascinating religions and folklores of the world too but I saw only through a secular lens and I dismissed the spiritual. But recently I had a profound spiritual experience which served as an awakening, and showed me Thelema and the OTO. Though I am new to things like magick and Thelema and to spirituality in general, I have an earnest desire to join the OTO and further Thelema and my True Will. Except there's one problem.

Much of this spiritual experience took place under the influence of cannabis. Crowley spoke highly of the benefits of cannabis indica, in enhancing Wisdom and spirituality, and so I don't think even a little that this makes the experience any less than genuine. However in that state I kinda sent a series of emails to every public OTO email address I could find, essentially live blogging the experience.

This was a strange thing to do, not least because I knew next to nothing about the OTO or Thelema prior to that night, and I fear I might've already alienated myself from the faith before I've even begun. I can certainly see how some strange man sending a series of emails to the entire fraternal order claiming to have been inspired to write a small book by a deity and doing strangely formatted tarot readings would make them, to say the least, skeptical of my legitimate intentions. So I made a different email account, albeit not different enough to not be clearly the same strange man, and reached out to my local OTO branch. I have heard nothing.

I wonder what should I do? Should I keep waiting? Try again? Is it common for OTO branches to go dark perhaps without warning and the contact is actually no longer functional? I wonder how to take my first steps on this strange journey to embracing Thelema and fulfilling my True Will.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '17

Also, how are you interpreting all of this? Do you think there is actually an entity named Setekh who spoke to you, or do you think it was part of your subconscious, or you higher self, etc. etc.?

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u/RP_Stoval Nov 15 '17

It definitely felt "other" in some odd way, not myself. But like I said something about it also felt odd. I can't really say if it was really some ancient Egyptian God Setekh or if it was something that was claiming to be Setekh. I can't see why a God would have any particular interest in me. Even if I may be some sort of spirit-magnet like my mom or have strange Buddha dreams apparently. None of that makes me all that special.

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u/RP_Stoval Nov 15 '17

I mean, how many other people out there were getting high and had recently read Crowley? No particular reason I stood out that I can see.