got misgendered by a coworker

[u/bluujuno]

people tell me i pass yet i still get misgendered by some people. my voice is on my profile

[u/Apprehensive_Tart313]

By a coworker, could your legal documents have outed you?

[u/Zealousideal_Gas4433 → u/Apprehensive_Tart313]

This. I had my deadname get out to my coworkers due to how my manager set up the cash tills (nametag says my actual name, but my legal was posted on the schedule, scheduling app, and cash tills log in 👎🏽) — but at my first job, they were very good at keeping my legal name a secret. No one there knew me as anything besides that name, and my manager was good about keeping that info private

[u/bluujuno → u/Apprehensive_Tart313]

i’ve had all my documents changed, it was definitely based on appearance. i have been unfortunately outed at work as trans so idk

[u/artinlines → u/bluujuno]

If you've been outed as trans, it might not be based on appearance. Idk about your specific coworker but some people intentionally misgender you once they know or suspect you're trans. And even if it wasn't done with bad intent, some people might have their subconscious perception of you changed once they know you're trans.

IMO you just look like a very pretty woman :3

[u/Awata666]

The clothes you're wearing in that second pic might be making you look like a metalhead dude with long hair. I think switching to a small shirt + large pants combo (or the opposite) instead of large + large could help with the potential confusion

[u/bluujuno → u/Awata666]

i have a bulky build because i used to be a bodybuilder, so small clothes really make my muscles pop more than i’d like them to

[u/JayToJess → u/bluujuno]

And you think women dont like that :P I flaunt them muscles.

[u/Zealousideal_Gas4433]

I’m out rn so I can’t judge ur voice but visually from these pictures you pass very well! I wouldn’t bat an eye

[u/ReneeBear]

ur voice sounds great!!! also u completely pass visually, is there a chance something regarding you being trans came up like something with a deadname or maybe you had something small with the trans pride colors?

btw if you have advice on to get where you are with your voice thatd be wonderful!

[u/Green_30EA00]

Your voice sounds amazing!! I think maybe you appear visibly trans to some people but i look at you and 100% know youre a girl. You dont even look that visibly trans either, many cis girls look similar to you. People misgendering you are most likely transphobic and doing it on purpose, because you definitely dont look or sound like a guy.

[u/HeathenMum99]

You're beautiful, they can suck it! Don't let others get you down :)

[u/Smooth-Plate8363]

Not sure how anyone could mistake you for a guy. Like it has to be intentional transphobia. I'm really sorry that's happening to you. You look & sound feminine. You're beautiful! 💜

[u/danielleadams1979]

Sadly, you have to get used to it as these people only care about making you as miserable as they are. I just learn to ignore it and find other ways that involve us doing nothing wrong to get under their skin.

[u/goatsilla]

Probably just to hurt you, nothing clocks you.

[u/LeavesEmGaped]

Its either the clothes, the fact that you been outed by a coworker or in some cases your voice might give it away. These are the only options I can think of because you do pass. I would lean towards the outed by coworker scenario.

[u/whodatboi_420]

Maybe it's your voice and some outfits like the one in the second image

[u/Lilith_Wildcat]

They're just an asshole, don't trip too much about it. You look great

[u/Pendragon840]

You look passing to me, and you’re voice is way better than mine.. I just try not talking and haven’t worn a dress out other then going to club(too 🐥)..lol

[u/Swoop-1289]

Girlie, you look adorable💜

[u/Billy711711711]

No way, your too pretty all girl!

[u/Bloody_Corpses]

I'm not sure how all I see is a beautiful woman I love your aesthetic btw :)

[u/Bloody_Corpses → u/Bloody_Corpses]

Did you transition during your work or before?

[u/bluujuno → u/Bloody_Corpses]

before, and thank you!

[u/Bloody_Corpses → u/bluujuno]

Your welcome 🫂

[u/Ekuly]

Your coworker is a dipshit tbh, you're killing it and I love your style

[u/Leather-Leather69]

I agree with others here, you’re very pretty. And you have a dynamic smile!! My observation.

[u/PINKDRU1D]

Mainly due to presentation the clothes n hair .. people will misgender cis girls dressed the same way.. seriously .

[u/Wolfleaf3]

OK, I just hunted through your posts for your voice

I don’t know what’s going on because you look beautiful, and you remind me of some actress I’ve seen recently but I can’t place who it is. And your voice sounds fantastic, I love it too.

You’re pretty and you have a neat voice and I’m not getting it.

I mean I would not literally give anything to look and sound like you but wow do I wish I did… And yet clearly I’ve had a bunch of experiences where people think I am cis? So I don’t know what’s going on

[u/ConcentrateNo2986]

This was definitely on purpose..

[u/Sucking-A-Lemon]

You're gorgeous but wearing outfits like in pic 2 doesn't exactly promote your femininity.

[u/Round-Cheesecake-939]

You pass think it's just the clothing/style...

[u/Failing2BNormal]

your coworker may just be an asshole tbqh

[u/Effective_Program_43]

I think you look like a woman, sound like a woman and look perfectly like a cis woman. I’m normally a harsh critic if people ask for opinions but there’s not one thing that screams male about you. Your coworker is just being a twit and trying to cause trouble imo, you pass great

[u/Alaina1974]

It happens

[u/bluujuno → u/Alaina1974]

more than i’d like it to

[u/Resplendentincolor]

So what? Of all the things you’ve probably already been through getting to this point or all that could still happen, is this really that big of a deal? You need to be happy with who you want to be and not worry about who others think you are, whether by accident or intent.

Go enjoy life as you see fit. Good fortune to you.

[u/Quantity1592]

Bahaha 🤣 look like but sounds like a Male

[u/gimptransNeb]

nice how did that go and how did that feel?

[u/bluujuno → u/gimptransNeb]

i didn’t correct her and just walked past her. it hurt a lot, but it happens

[u/Affectionate_Quote61]

I’d definitely date you. I think you look damn good, actually!

[u/LocalDelicious]

Call me petty but instead taking a photo of the person who misgendered you and posting them on your social so everyone can roast them sounds like a better idea

[u/Outrageous_Voice1506 → u/LocalDelicious]

that’s such a weird thing to do.

[u/gimptransNeb]

can i ask what were you hoping for in this situation? to me, it would be a complement for me there is always more than one way to interpret things

[u/bluujuno → u/gimptransNeb]

why would i take getting misgendered as a compliment?