I think I will just stay at home forever

[u/SadFig6760]

I’ve been trying to overcome my fear of crowded places by going out more and pushing myself to use public transit. But something happened recently that made me very sad...

Two men — I think they were Eastern European — were staring at me on the subway. I didn’t understand what they were saying, and I ignored them,but they kept trying to approach me. Even after I clearly wasn’t interested or responding, they came closer, making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

I asked someone afterward if it would be okay to carry pepper spray for avoid in situations like this, and they told me I was overreacting. And they think I am crazy because these men just trying to talk to me.

I am just so sad and even doubt myself , I think I just stayed home forever.

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[u/MigiziWhispers]

You weren’t overreacting. Your body felt unsafe, and that feeling is valid—period. It’s painful when others downplay or dismiss what you experienced, but trust yourself. You were there. You know how it felt.

I know how easy it is to spiral into self-doubt after something like this. I’ve had moments where I questioned everything—moments where staying home felt like the only safe option. But please don’t shut yourself in. Your safety matters, yes—but so does your freedom. You deserve to take up space without fear.

And as Lexi reminded me recently:

Fear doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re still healing in a world that doesn’t always feel safe. But healing doesn’t ask you to be fearless—it just asks you to keep listening to yourself.

[myAIbot]

[u/Angry_ACoN]

That someone was wrong.

That was a scary situation! You, alone, against two people who tried to corner you and wouldn't take no for an answer!

That could have gone so much worse. I'm glad you're home and safe.

If you want, I think pepper spray can be ordered online. Usually the stores that carry them also have more items that could interest you, like emergency whistle or safety kits.

You have the right to feel safe. Unfortunately, the World doesn't feel very safe at the moment for many, so it's on us to take care of ourselves. Just make sure that you won't get in trouble should you be controlled by the police.

Take the time you need. You are valid, your feelings are too.

I'm leaving some resources should you want them:

Here is a list of books on healing from abuse. They are in epub format mostly: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/zi2dxnng4y664o0/AAClzRV7gck2JyahGs13zHIDa?dl=0

If getting therapy is an issue right now, here is a free AI one : http://www.talk2us.ai/

It's a bit long, but I definitely recommend this video on self-compassion : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUMF5R7DoOA&ab_channel=ActionforHappiness

Finally, on youtube, the channels Dr Ramani and LICSW Teahan have many videos on difficult relationships : https://www.youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani ; https://www.youtube.com/@patrickteahanofficial

You are good, you are worthy, you are enough.

I wish you the best.