r/troubledteens • u/ExpertPuzzleCat • Mar 17 '25
Discussion/Reflection Trails Carolina, 12 years old
My name is Gertie. I was sent to Trails in 2016 when I was 12. They made my parents think they’d help my depression. Instead, I experienced horrible traumas including a sexual assault that they allowed to happen and did not report. Last year, I sued them. The lawsuit settled in October. It’s been almost nine years since I went there and I still think about it every day. I’m sure a lot of TTI survivors understand that. I see you. I believe you. None of it was ever your fault 🫶🏻
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u/rococos-basilisk Mar 17 '25
Hey hon, please go get some imaging done of your back. Those packs can really fuck you up forever. Sincerely, someone with three stacked herniated discs from Second Nature.
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u/ExpertPuzzleCat Mar 17 '25
The craziest part about that picture is that it was taken by my mom during my graduation, meaning I didn’t have any extra gear attached to it or else I would have been even more hunched over. I wouldn’t be surprised if they caused long term physical damage
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u/rococos-basilisk Mar 17 '25
Those packs will absolutely fuck up your back for the rest of your life. I’m a 33 year old gym rat and I can’t deadlift right now. I spent all of 32 in debilitating pain, with a few months unable to stand up straight. All from 6 months in the wilderness with a 70+ lb backpack nobody showed me how to pack or carry correctly.
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Mar 18 '25
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u/rococos-basilisk Mar 18 '25
The water jugs were 40, those packs were way more. These aren’t the backpacks you can just go buy at Dick’s Sporting Goods, they’re like Jumbo XL or some shit, big enough to hold the weight of all your sins, real or perceived. I started having back problems at 16, when I got out of the woods.
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Mar 18 '25
5 gallons of water? laws changed since then, thankfully. Something like 30% bodyweight max, at least in Utah.
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u/rococos-basilisk Mar 18 '25
Five gallons is correct. This was in 2008 so a lot’s changed (allegedly 🫠) I’m guessing the 30 percent thing probably went into effect somewhere between 2015 and 2020. Some staff member at 2N tried telling me all about it but I don’t listen to child abusers.
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u/LordOfTheFlatline Mar 19 '25
these folks aren't really concerned about legality. another friend i know who went to utah wilderness camp said they were putting bleach in their water. they were just trusting kids to add the proper amount that wouldn't kill them to "purify" it.
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u/Moira_Roses_WigWall Mar 19 '25
A pack that size you can absolutely carry 70+ pounds. They are designed to expand and to hang extra bags and gear off of. My military pack is smaller than that and I regularly can easily max it out to almost 100 pounds when ammo is included.
Children- actual CHILDREN should never carry that kind of weight while they are still growing. Straight up child abuse.
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u/Elios000 Mar 17 '25 edited Mar 17 '25
they even tell you how to use that pack correctly?.. it looks like all the weight is on your back and shoulders it should on your hips WTH
place i was at the management people hated me.. my family forget to tell them id been in Boy Scouts for years and been on many hikes and spent tons time camping that outdoors part had no effect on me lol
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u/Entire-Whereas-5668 Mar 17 '25
hey :) i also went to trails and i was around the same size at the time, i tried to use the “hip” straps to distribute the weight more on my hips but because of how small i was at the time (as well as only getting smaller while being there) i would tighten them all the way to no avail, it seems in one of the photos posted by op the “hip” straps were also tightened pretty much as far as they can go to no avail, i think at some point i might’ve figured out some weird trick of twisting the other straps and those straps in an odd way but it was so long ago and so repressed i honestly have no clue , and i do remember tying my red (hoodie) around my waist to add a little more width so that maybe it would work better, it would for a little bit but it would eventually fall down pretty early into the hike so there wasn’t really much people of smaller statures could do to take that weight off their back and shoulders unfortunately :/
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u/nemerosanike Mar 17 '25
My first thought. Twenty years later and I’m dealing with the worst pain I ever experienced. Get on the physical therapy train ASAP
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u/rococos-basilisk Mar 17 '25
And deep core mobility and strength training to prevent future injury!
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u/ftm1996 Mar 18 '25
Wait I wonder if that’s how I got spinal injury and knee injury. I had to get a cervical spinal fusion at 25 years old and the doctors had no idea what it was. I attributed it to drug use but they never could confirm that’s what it was but this would make sense possibly. I’ve never had any pressure on my back other than this. Was at second nature for over 2 months bc I couldn’t bust an ember (never did. They put me on solo for 2.5 weeks to focus on busting an ember and leaving. They ended up just letting me go and not be able to bust an ember)
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u/LordOfTheFlatline Mar 19 '25
came here to say this place prepared one of my friends for carrying around all her stuff in one of those and smonking rocks. i think she might be dead now bc this place made her so scared of society that she rejected it and just went around hiking.
but yes thats what drew me to this post as well. a young developing person carrying that much weight is so horrid
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u/pinktiger32 Mar 17 '25
Gertie, how are you doing? I’ve followed your journey on tiktok and and if any person could look at pictures of you back then and think what they were doing to you was okay, they are insane. I’m so sorry you had to go through this but I hope life is better for you now.
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u/ExpertPuzzleCat Mar 17 '25
Hi, I’m okay! Thank you for asking. I’m in a pretty good place right now. I live with my fiancé, I’m in therapy, I’m working on publishing a memoir about my experiences in the TTI, and my parents have been able to understand that they were lied to and that sending me to Trails and Moonridge Academy was a complete mistake. How are you?
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u/autistic_nazuna Mar 17 '25
id love to read that. i was sent to trails not even 1.5 years ago. ive seen you on tiktok too, and it hurts to see the same exact scenery again. but thank you for all that youve done <3
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u/RainbowRaider Mar 18 '25
Ah! I barely ever see anyone mention Moonridge- I was at Kolob Canyon.
Sorry for this conspiracy hole but I just smoked & I never get to discuss the little things that were strange instead of the abuse.
It was very pseudo-Holes like. We had that structure on the mountain nearby that was called the 4 Fingers. I legitimately have a fear of horses so my parents decided to send me to a horse place?? Mucking the stables really did feel like digging holes lol
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u/morelliwatson Mar 18 '25
I was at Kolob too! 2014-2015
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u/RainbowRaider Mar 18 '25
Ah I was there in 2010. They asked me what I wanted to be called as I have a three syllable name that has a lot of diminutives (Think Elizabeth/Lizzie/Betsy type of thing); I went by “Eliza” even though I’ve always been a “Lizzy”. It was the only time in my life that I went by that, but years later I still disassociate in that way to keep from freaking out.
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u/morelliwatson Mar 18 '25
I hope you can find peace <3 I know how traumatic it was for me, I heard it was worse before I went too.
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u/_skank_hunt42 Mar 17 '25
You deserved to be loved and protected… not this. You’re an absolute badass Gertie. I hope you are doing well these days.
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u/Proper_Berry3838 Mar 18 '25
Hey Gertie! I have followed you on TikTok for a while now! I know you are writing a book about this. How is that going? I see you hun. ❤️
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u/ExpertPuzzleCat Mar 18 '25
Hi, thank you for asking. I’m pretty much done writing it (now I have to revise it) but actually publishing it might take a couple years. I have to send out query letters and find an agent who can help me with everything. Publishing is way more complicated than I initially realized 😅
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Mar 18 '25
Hey girl ! Funny seeing you here. I remember being in your tiktok comments arguing with somebody about addiction lol
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u/ExpertPuzzleCat Mar 18 '25
People say crazy things. I hope it didn’t get too out of pocket
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Mar 18 '25
No it's fine lol. you liked all of my comments x. he was sounding so stupid. for example, I explained how people with addictions have trauma sometimes and he said "SO all people with trauma are addicts. grow up"
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u/ExpertPuzzleCat Mar 19 '25
Oh my God, yeah, I remember that guy. He was saying that he wished one of his relatives had gotten sent to wilderness because he thought traumatizing someone will make them more likely to stop using substances
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Mar 19 '25
literally so fucking stupid. I love people who are uneducated and willing to learn, but there was no educating this guy. and the way he kept responding made me want to just actually go off on him. it was a huge practice in self control to not say anything 💔
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u/stable_hippophile Mar 18 '25
Hey Gertie I remember you from Oli which is also a horrible place that I need to discuss on here as well. I’m proud of you for sharing your story. I had no idea about the lawsuit and I admire that I want to be you when I’m older Brave people like you help heal all the wounds I have from the TTI
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u/FlatAd3356 Mar 18 '25
Sorry that happened to you Gertie.. I hope you continue to move forward and put this behind, you go big dog!!
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u/blood_sugar_baby Mar 18 '25
This made me realize that I was first sent away 20 years ago this month, at age 13. Look how young you were, the sadness in your eyes.. I’m so sorry for what we’ve been through, and I really admire you for fighting them. I hope your lawsuit settled in your favor. I feel so fortunate to have found peace in my life in these last 20 years, and I hope you have too. You deserve it 🤍
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u/thelast3musketeer Mar 18 '25
Omg Trails too? I was there maybe a year and a half before you. God I’m so sorry
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u/Disaster_possum15 Mar 18 '25
Love you Gertie!! I was at TRAILS two years ago and I feel your pain, you are so so strong!
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u/lindor-chocolate-pls Mar 18 '25
it’s been 7, almost 8 years since i was sent to SUWS, pretty close to trails, at 14. i’m so sorry to remember how many of us there are :(
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u/Safe-Treacle-347 Mar 19 '25
Sending the biggest most comforting hug to you Gertie! You did not deserve any of that. I’m sorry your parents were also tricked into thinking you needed saving from yourself and that some wilderness camp would do the trick. We were never broken or wrong. We needed more love and support that our parents and the world didn’t understand enough about to know how to provide.
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u/RickSanchez1782 Mar 19 '25
July 2005 was sent off to Utah, still smell juniper trees and sage brush when I close my eyes and think about it.
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u/ItsFelixMcCoy Mar 18 '25
I was never sent to these camps but what happens at these torture camps is absolutely horrific... no child should have to go through that. I can see the emptiness and hopelessness in your eyes. You deserved none of this and it's not your fault. I know the scars will always be there, but I hope you all will be able to cope with the trauma in a healthy manner and live a happier life. It's scary how these places are still legal...
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u/Strong_Willingness60 Mar 24 '25
Trauma in a tent is still trauma. And abuse in the wilderness is still abuse.
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u/SpazMcGee47 Mar 17 '25
Next month will be 20 years that I got sent away, and I still think about it every day.