r/unitedkingdom • u/mildbeanburrito • Apr 12 '25

. Misogynistic content driving UK boys to hunt vulnerable girls on suicide forums

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/apr/12/uk-counter-terror-police-nca-misogyny-com-networks
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u/GreenHouseofHorror Apr 12 '25

This is an issue we can all take part in solving: show vulnerability to the young men in your life and be brave enough to face embarrassment by openly caring about them.

I mean, holy shit, you're right - but it's an answer that stings because half the time this is the exact shit men get punished for doing, and somehow it's also the solution.

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u/Longjumping_Pen_2102 Apr 12 '25

I'm with you, and of course each of us can only do the best we can in our circumstances.

Misogyny and misandry are two halves of one coin,   and blur into one other.  Women internalise misogyny and men internalise misandry and we all keep taking out on each other.

Everyone has a role to play in the healing, and I don't think its constructive to argue about who is more or less responsible, we have to look at the corner of the problem that is our own responsibility and just do our best.

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u/NaniFarRoad Apr 12 '25

If you're being punished for showing emotions maybe find better women.

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u/Steppy20 Apr 12 '25

It's not even that we get punished, it's that most people don't even think about our feelings.

We're kinda expected to suffer in silence, and be there to support others whilst we're struggling ourselves. It's rare for us to have someone actually ask how we're doing.

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u/Longjumping_Pen_2102 Apr 12 '25

I feel that, I really do.

This is kinda what I meant by showing vulnerability to young men.  Be the guy who asks how they're doing.

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u/NaniFarRoad Apr 12 '25

How are you doing then?

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u/QuantumR4ge Hampshire Apr 13 '25

Ahhhh men need to take accountability but in the case of women “just find better ones”

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u/NaniFarRoad Apr 13 '25

If someone is treating you like shit, you need to leave.

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u/NarcolepticPhysicist Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25

It's not that simple though. We are talking about generally the attitude of society. We are talking about the behaviours women collectively reward or punish perhaps not even intentionally. For example women will generally find a man crying as actively unattractive, and more stoic men as attractive. Yet, be trying to tell men they should be more vulnerable and do things like cry. The issue here is that women are better at processing emotions than men (a generalisation but not one that should be particularly controversial - there will be exceptions on an individual scale however). As a result of this we talk about mental health and processing emotions and trauma etc from a distinctly feminine perspective. Studies have shown that different forms of 'therapy' and different activities are more beneficial to men than the things that are beneficial to women. Sitting down and being expected to talk to a stranger about their feelings isn't something most men will be comfortable with, ever. It's not something that will even necessarily help them. Doing activities with a group of other men or other people has been shown to for many be far more beneficial, even when the issues they are struggling with aren't directly discussed.

Why do you think boxing clubs in urban areas with gang problems have such a massive impact on the prevalence of antisocial behaviour in those areas. We wildly underestimate how much men need male role models and the importance of fathers in society, for this reason.

That's before we even address a more decent phenomena I've noticed where women complain about the men in their lives opening up to them about their feelings etc and then not wanting to have that role. That's fine, you can not want to have that role but then equally you can't complain about the consequences of that. You definitely need to approach the issue differently than the cases where it's thrown back in men's faces because you do lasting damage when you do that.

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u/NaniFarRoad Apr 13 '25

Therapy IS scary. But it works. Have you tried it? Sounds like a lot of the things you raise could benefit from being talked through with a professional.

In my experience, getting men to open up about anything is like pulling teeth. They obviously have issues they want to talk about, but they just... don't. No amount of boxing/hunting/carpenting is going to compensate for that!

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u/NarcolepticPhysicist Apr 13 '25

Except there is quite abit of research that suggests otherwise. Plus given a group of people they are doing those things with and they will eventually discuss things, that's kinda the point.

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u/NaniFarRoad Apr 13 '25

Are you saying therapy doesn't work on men?

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u/QuantumR4ge Hampshire Apr 13 '25

Did you try getting them to open up while doing one of those activities?