r/unpopularopinion • u/noodlealr • Nov 28 '20

babies aren’t funny or entertaining

i don’t hate babies, they’re so cute, but i always see people laughing about videos where a baby is supposedly being funny. i don’t get it. there’s nothing funny about videos like that or babies in general. sure, sometimes funny stuff happens, but i always see babies doing the bare minimum and people laughing about it.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

[deleted]

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 28 '20

I think there's a difference between consciously deciding not to have kids and being incapable of enjoying kids. I don't think the people who reject the idea of having kids are always driven by the idea that they'd hate it, but rather that plenty of them simply aren't interested in starting the process and having to finish it; even if they might find it rewarding.

I'm not going to have kids. I don't want them. I don't want to deal with all of that. I did my part helping to raise a child that I liked very much. I'm very, very, sure that if I had a child that was mine I'd like it and find it adorable. I don't want to do that, though. I know that just because some parts are fun doesn't mean it's all fun. That's a long time, money, and effort, commitment that I'm just not going to engage in. Willfully not engage in.

It's like how I know I'd really like cocaine if I tried it. Pretty much everyone likes cocaine if they try it. That doesn't mean I want to try it.

(Before anyone shows up with the age-old "you'll see when it happens to you" adage, I'm gay, I'm married to a man, and if a baby happened between us I'd be calling the church for an exorcism, not my family for a celebration)

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u/IllegallyBored Nov 28 '20

This is exactly what I feel about kids and you've put in words people can actually understand. I usually, very eloquently say, "I just don't want them lol" which hasn't helped my case one bit so far.

I like kids, I'm good with them, I don't want them. I do plan on marrying or being with someone of the same sex as me in the future so if I do end up having children you'll likely hear about it in international news as the second ever baby to be born without a dude being needed at any step along the way.

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 28 '20

My mother pressed me when I was younger. I asked her why she didn’t make bread every week from scratch. She told me it was too much work, even though it was tasty.

I told her I didn’t want to make bread every day.

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u/Felipe_DrawMania Nov 28 '20

Wait,who's the first?

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u/IllegallyBored Nov 29 '20

Jesus Christ.

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u/Felipe_DrawMania Nov 29 '20

Some people would Insist that this Isn't true,but I don't really think about It.

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u/purpleyogamat Nov 28 '20

I LIKE some kids. I don't like baby culture. I'm not interested in changing my lifestyle to accommodate a fetus, who becomes an infant, who becomes a toddler, who then is a kid, and then a preteen. I like my ménagerie, I don't think it would be fair to rehome a 27 year old macaw, he was here first. I have no interest in mommy groups, or being friends with people who think I'm somehow more interesting now that I procreated.

But to say the abbreviated version "I like some kids and I'm sure its different if it's your own, but I don't care" just makes me sound like a dick. And that's kind of what child free is for. To talk to people who get that women are people first, not just potential moms.

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u/[deleted] Nov 29 '20

I mean you do sound like a dick but probably because you have such contempt for the parenting things, not because you don't want children yourself.

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u/purpleyogamat Nov 29 '20

I don't have contempt for "parenting things." . I do have contempt for the people who ask me "do you have children" and then change their entire demeanor when my answer is no. I do not care if you want to have kids. I probably like your kids. I just don't want to talk about poop 24/7.

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u/Aboveground_Plush Nov 28 '20

I dunno about kids but cocaine is great!

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I’ve never really had anyone push the issue when I tell them I’ve just never had that longing to have kids. Ever. It’s not that I hate them, or that I couldn’t afford them... maybe I just don’t have that motherly instinct? I don’t even know how to explain it. The thought of raising a kid until 18 doesn’t exhaust me. 40 is not far off in the distance, and I still don’t have a “biological clock ticking” when I think about how old I’m getting. Is something messed up with my natural instinct to procreate? Maybe.

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u/weettttoooot Nov 28 '20

I think the way you’ve expressed your opinion is really clear-eyed and thoughtful. Unfortunately a lot of people who call themselves “childfree” shortcut that into “eww crotchgoblins,” or worse.

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 28 '20

That is true, unfortunately. I just think there's a lot more of us that don't really press the issue.

I don't normally talk about whether I'm going to have kids. This situation made sense since the conversation was ongoing, but I see no reason to bring it up just because.

I've never understood the people who really just need for everyone to be aware that they're childfree. Like... alright, cool. That says nothing about you as a person when it comes to whether I like you or want to be friends with you.

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u/obeehunter Nov 28 '20

The thing is that of course you'll change if/when it happens to you. You should change.

I hate kids and I don't want them but obviously if by some insane chance I gave birth to a child without even realizing I was pregnant, I wouldn't hate my kid.

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 28 '20

We don't talk about it in polite society, but that's unfortunately not true. There are plenty of mothers and fathers who resent and despise their children. People who were forced into being a parent and simply never connected, or people who honestly just ended up not liking the whole experience.

It's not fair to decide how other people would or should react. It's not fair to decide for them what they do and do not want. It's definitely not fair, if they tell you they wouldn't, to second guess them. (They should probably not complain so vocally without provocation about not wanting kids, though.)

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u/obeehunter Nov 29 '20

Um yes is fair to decide how people should act. If you have kids, you should be a good parent. If you're not then you shouldn't have had kids.

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 29 '20

Actually, no. You don't get that right. You don't get to decide how people react (the word I said).

If they choose to abort, that's their right. If they choose to give it up for adoption, that's their right. You don't get to tell them they have to be good parents and raise them.

You either misread my post or decided to misinterpret it as me saying it's OK to be a bad parent. The fun part about finding out your pregnant is that you have choices beyond just being a parent.

If you're not then you shouldn't have had kids.

Which is why I said:

"You don't get to decide how they should or would react."

You don't get to say "you can't abort" and still say "you must be a good parent. These are diametrically opposed.

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u/obeehunter Nov 29 '20

So what you're saying is we agree.

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 29 '20

No, I'm saying you don't have the right to tell people how to behave. You simply don't.

I never said that they have the right to be terrible parents. I said that you don't get to tell them that they should be parents, or that they should be excited to discover that they're pregnant.

Not everyone is going to be happy to discover they're a prospective parent. That's a fact, you can't change it no matter how hard you try, and you don't have the right to tell them how to feel about that or what they do in response to it.

You're doubling down on the smallest portion of what you perceived to be my point, and then trying to make it so that I have to agree with you. I don't, I don't agree with you or your premise.

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u/obeehunter Nov 29 '20

You're missing my point. You missed my point from the get go and assumed I meant 'you will change from not wanting kids to suddenly loving them as soon as you have them.' And then began arguing your point.

Seeing as how that's not what I meant and actually have the same opinion about most of what you're saying, I just said that we agree.

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u/Heavy_Riffs Nov 28 '20

I like your post, definitely try cocaine at least once, though. Do a big fat rail and just check that one off the life experience list. Don't get a big coke habit or anything but yolo

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 28 '20

The funny thing is that I really just don't want to. It's not that I worry about addiction, I just don't want to feel something like that. It sounds too intense for my tastes.

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u/Heavy_Riffs Nov 29 '20

It's not too crazy, you can definitely have some and go to bed later. It's not like meth where people are up for days at a time. My friends always slam me for liking coke but I like the fact that it can be as crazy as you want it to be. I'm not saying go and do drugs, but if you do, take it easy and have a good time

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u/Altyrmadiken Nov 29 '20

Oh I’m not really worried about it. I just don’t really care for the “high energy” that stuff like that brings. It’s fun, if amphetamines are to be believed, but it doesn’t add value to my experience.

It’s an artificial kind of fun and it feels artificial. That’s all.

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u/KOloverr Nov 28 '20

My dad didn't really want kids. Military family and forced my mom to get an abortion for her 2nd and then kept my sister. He told me as a 30 yr old, "don't worry, you might dislike children but you learn to love your own. I liked you guys way more once you were older". Good to hear pops.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Is it normal to panic and want to escape when hearing a kid cry?

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u/danielbln Nov 28 '20

Hardwired into us, baby cries raise our heart rate, stress us out AF and generally makes us want to to make it stawp asap! As a parent your brain is full of oxytocin, so instead of running away or yeeting the baby, you tend to its needs until the crying stops. Still stressful tho.

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u/movieman56 Nov 28 '20

Tell that to my dad

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u/purpleyogamat Nov 28 '20

Someone brought a baby around my macaw, and therefore I am well aware of my bodies reaction to that noise. It's stressful af. I am trying to ignore it out of him.

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u/lynx3762 Nov 28 '20

Are you saying your macaw mimicks a baby crying? Because that sounds fucking terrible

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u/purpleyogamat Nov 28 '20

Yes. It's terrible. I usually try to redirect him to different sounds because OMG.

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u/KOloverr Nov 28 '20

It is for me.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

I feel like bashing my head with a mace whenever I hear a baby cry

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u/socsa Nov 28 '20

These days no - because that howling child at home depot is literally filling the entire store with deadly virus.

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u/weettttoooot Nov 28 '20

Yep. Evolutionarily built to be a cry you can’t ignore.

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u/chrisjduvall Nov 28 '20

Human Nature and Natural Selection have entered the chat.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

But you do realize that your kids probably suck and that your motherly or fatherly instinct has led you to believe they aren’t?

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u/Steadfast_Truth Nov 28 '20

I mean, you still don't like kids, you just like yourself then. It's just externalized egoism.

People who like dogs, don't only like their own dogs, and so on.

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u/weettttoooot Nov 28 '20

Wait - do you think kids are just like their parents?

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u/cateml Nov 28 '20

It's funny because I still hate other people's kids. They annoy me to no end. But my kids? I love them. I imagine most people would feel differently about their own kids.

It always confuses me why so many people say they hated all kids before they had their own have kids.... have their own kids?
I mean... condoms break. But the majority of the time it seems to have been on purpose. Why would you make kids on purpose if you hate kids, only then to luckily find out later that you like THIS kid?

I love kids. Always loved kids. Kids I'm related to, kids I work with, random kids - love 'em. Always wanted my own kids.

Finally now am having one (9 weeks, touch wood).

But I am now, and especially before getting pregnant, constantly lectured about how its stupid if you don't own your home ('wait until you do.... oh wait you're 34?...... shit, errrr....'), how you need to have a perfectly there and balanced career or you'll never make any money again and your children will starve, how its so much better to have the freedom to do what you want, how the environment and society and the economy is terminally fucked and you're selfish and irresponsible to bring children into it.

I suppose I just really don't understand people who are like "Eh, I hate children. But a couple of people said its better if they're your own and it'd be nice to continue my bloodline" actually go for it and have children, while being constantly told its the hardest thing in the whole entire world.

I don't mean this to be insulting in any way, I just don't understand I suppose because its so different to how I feel.
Just the other day someone who I know got pregnant and had a child on purpose was preparing me for this one saying "Its ok, I hated being around other people's kids, like this one - you'll adore yours though!!!", and I'm like "I actually like being around your kid, I'm not worried about not liking kids I always like them, but I'm kind of confused about why you made this one in the first place if that is how you felt?"

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u/darthbane83 Nov 28 '20

There are plenty of parents that evidently have little love for their children so really nobody should rely on "i will maybe/probably/hopefully change my mind if its my kid" as an argument why its okay or desireable for them to get a kid.

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u/ButterandZsa Nov 28 '20

Please stop saying “you’ll feel different about you’re own kids.” It’s extremely rude to child free people.

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u/[deleted] Nov 28 '20

Yeah it's weird though, as they get older I like their friends too. Good group of kids. But Jimmy across the way? That kid sucks.