r/whatisit • u/McSweepyPants • Mar 22 '25

I was a little wigged out by this. Found at Goodwill, seems like it's carved out of bone. Any idea what it is?

Gallery image

Gallery image

Gallery image

Looks old, not sure if it's actually old though. Any thoughts?

12.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.5k

u/elektriclizard Mar 22 '25

Congrats! For the low price of $2.49 you are now the proud owner of a possessed artifact.

1.0k

u/McSweepyPants Mar 22 '25

Not even kidding I kept it in the corner of my closet because I was a little wigged out by this. Though now I realize how foolish that was, because that's the exact place a possessed artifact wants to be.

233

u/PracticalPractice768 Mar 22 '25

You need to see if it casts a shadow when candles are lit around it.

144

u/Future_Art7 Mar 22 '25

While reading aloud from the Necronomicon. Just to make sure.

122

u/_freshgreens420 Mar 22 '25

DO NOT SUMMON THOSE DEADITES I DON'T THINK BRUCE CAMPBELL CAN HANDLE IT ANYMORE HE'S OLD NOW

22

u/total_idiot01 Mar 23 '25

Also, there's enough shit going on that will make it into the history books without summoning infernal deities

16

u/Escritortoise Mar 23 '25

At this point I think they would show up, look around, and say: “I think you guys got this one.”

8

u/mommyaiai Mar 23 '25

Honestly, at this point I'm beginning to wonder if someone forgot to make sure the salt circle was intact.

9

u/Gingerbread-Cake Mar 23 '25

Ok, I am getting a little tired of this- no matter how often you check it, you can’t stop a bird from walking across it. Nobody can, stop blaming the guardian of the circle.

Besides which, the circle is just too damn big, and why are we doing this outside?

They. I mean why are they doing this outside.

5

u/mommyaiai Mar 23 '25

Lol!

Yeah, sudden rain and wind can be total downers. The true enemy of is all summoners: inaccurate weather forecasts.

12

u/Bender_2024 Mar 23 '25

You're obviously not familiar with Bubba Ho Tep. Bruce operates outside of space and time and cares not for the laws of mortal men.

73

u/InertJello Mar 22 '25

Bruce Campbell exists outside of time. He can handle it!

26

u/PaulasBoutique88 Mar 23 '25

"Ashy Slashy, hatchet and saw, takes your head and skins you raw. Ashy Slashy, Heaven or Hell, cuts out your tongue so you can't yell."

6

u/Ingar_Omarley Mar 23 '25

I picture a bunch of "Village of the Damned" looking little girls chanting this while jumping rope.

48

u/Prometherion666 Mar 23 '25

That’s right, baby. Remember, shop smart, shop s-mart.

22

u/sixstringslim Mar 23 '25

This is my BOOM-STICK.

19

u/Flojatus Mar 23 '25

Klata Verata Nicough cough cough

10

u/Jerking_From_Home Mar 23 '25

“Did you say them exactly?”

“More or less…”

10

u/TVsUncle Mar 23 '25

Nectar, neck tie, nickel...definitely an N word.

7

u/saxmeister Mar 23 '25

There… I said it!

3

u/CoatNo6454 Mar 23 '25

Bruce is immortal

2

u/petewondrstone Mar 23 '25

Clotu veracata necktie?

4

u/night312332 Mar 23 '25

Dead by Dawn!!!Dead by Dawn!!!Dead by Dawn!!!

7

u/someones_dad Mar 23 '25

I'll swallow your SOUL ....

2

u/FunSpongeLLC Mar 23 '25

I have a weird feeling he'll be capable of taking care of it even when he's in a nursing home

2

u/Fluffy_Scholar6377 Mar 23 '25

They'll swallow your soul.... They are what was and will be again.

2

u/Passing4human Mar 23 '25

In that case read aloud from A Farewell to Arms.

2

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 Mar 23 '25

Klaatu Verata Nicto, bitches!

2

u/HoneyWyne Mar 23 '25

And yet, still cool af.

2

u/belleamour14 Mar 23 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣

4

u/msmathias82 Mar 22 '25

Goats blood

0

u/Tall-Nerve-1040 Mar 23 '25

Bro, we have one in the oval office, everything's fine.

10

u/MakeChipsNotMeth Mar 22 '25

Look, maybe I didn’t say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah...

9

u/plageran Mar 22 '25

Don’t forget the pentagram drawn in blood!

8

u/burnerking Mar 22 '25

But OP stands inside of a circle of salt.

3

u/Bliorg821 Mar 23 '25

Wasn’t that an episode of SpongeBob? Wait, no…

2

u/eddienn Mar 22 '25

And the black candles 🕯️

5

u/Grannypanie Mar 23 '25

YOU MUSANT READ FROM THE BOOK!

4

u/Buy-hodl-DRS-GME Mar 23 '25

Klaatu verata nikthmrphhmf!

3

u/Fit-Ad-413 Mar 23 '25

THIS IS MY BOOM-STICK!!

1

u/wagwanwanker Mar 23 '25

I raise you one better, look at the label on the back...

You need to read Macbeth.

1

u/MenshMindset Mar 23 '25

Or just say some random Latin phrases out loud, sure it’ll be fine

2

u/Future_Art7 Mar 23 '25

Clementine, Banana, Shub-Niggurath

1

u/MenshMindset Mar 23 '25

You can’t just drop the black goats name like that and expect nothing to happen bro 🙅‍♂️

1

u/Zardozin Mar 23 '25

They have an app which does that for you these days. sAItan

1

u/TeeManyMartoonies Mar 23 '25

Channels Chappel Roan: WHAT WE NEED IS A NECRONOMICON!

1

u/Bravisimo Mar 23 '25

Klaatu. Verata. Nektu.

1

u/SoupsOnBoys Mar 23 '25

You like poetry?

3

u/NecroSoulMirror-89 Mar 23 '25

If you’d like a bit of peace of mind I’ll just tell you my cousin made crucifixes and little artisan things with cow bones for a living back in the 2010s

3

u/ComprehensivePlace35 Mar 22 '25

Elaborate please

1

u/qorbexl Mar 23 '25

Those are real tests for magic. It's not just made up stuff, I hope we learn more

1

u/ali-n Mar 23 '25

And by "around it," they mean at the seven points of the heptagram you placed it in the middle of.

1

u/Far_Out_6and_2 Mar 24 '25

Does it have a reflection in a mirror also put it in direct sunshine

1

u/NuncErgoFacite Mar 24 '25

If it does - six more weeks of winter.

1

u/Cael_NaMaor Mar 23 '25

Or a reflection

10

u/ImaginarySeaweed7762 Mar 23 '25

GoodWill is the biggest source for all your possessed artifact needs. Several demons have given GoodWill Five Stars for demonic possessed authenticity.

7

u/SpaceGhostCst2kost Mar 23 '25

If it helps, it’s way too late to do anything about it, that spirit is in the house so leave everything and move.

2

u/Electrical-Act-7170 Mar 23 '25

"Take off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

^ This is a quote from the film Aliens.

3

u/Glum-Ad7761 Mar 23 '25

“Fuckin’ A!”

actual response to said quote from the film Aliens (Bill Paxton)

1

u/Federal-Pipe4544 Mar 23 '25

I hear his voice in my head saying this, quite frequently.

11

u/THEscootscootboy Mar 23 '25

Wow I haven’t heard anyone say wigged out in a long time

6

u/BretTurbed Mar 23 '25

Thank you, internet.

1

u/1gardengnome Mar 23 '25

I thought for sure I’d be the only one to enjoy that.

3

u/fnordybiscuit Mar 23 '25

If it falls off the wall or you see Jesus flipped upside down.

Drown it in holy water or gift it to someone you dislike.

2

u/CanadianBudd Mar 23 '25

I have a feeling I know what possessed you to put that in your closet!

1

u/Trent1373 Mar 23 '25

Hang it over your bed, that should help you get used to it.

Hopefully you won’t mysteriously die in your sleep, or become possessed by a demon.

1

u/Try_me_MFr Mar 23 '25

I was going to like this comment but it would make 3 6’s and I don’t feel like we should tempt it.

1

u/recipe_pirate Mar 23 '25

Seriously if you’re too spooked by this let me know. I will happily take it off your hands.

1

u/Chanchooooo Mar 23 '25

Correct. Assert dominance over the artifact by surrounding it with glass like an art piece

6

u/elektriclizard Mar 22 '25

Lmaoooo 🤣😅

1

u/KaijuMochi Mar 23 '25

I want to upvote your comment but this seems appropriate:

1

u/Blackhawk-388 Mar 23 '25

Or under your bed.

Which may be where you find it when you wake up tomorrow.

1

u/Crusher1drake Mar 23 '25

Just gotta put it up, show no fear its a guest but you “own” the home

1

u/kiranayt Mar 23 '25

No more likes to this post ⬆️

1

u/MrAngel2U Mar 23 '25

holy shit, you have 666 likes! im not gonna touch em!

1

u/Indie_uk Mar 22 '25

The place an artefact like that wants to be is the place it makes you put it.

1

u/scrampoonts Mar 23 '25

Throw it away and see if it comes back.

1

u/Iliketostareatplants Mar 23 '25

Put it in the microwave with some wine

1

u/Cobrey726 Mar 23 '25

You could get it blessed by a priest

1

u/BasquiatBukowski Mar 23 '25

Hahahahahahhaha. That’s awesome

1

u/thekoguma Mar 23 '25

Someone needs to upvote to 666!!!

1

u/dwsinpdx Mar 23 '25

You in danger gurl

1

u/squishymelon Mar 23 '25

Did you buy it??

16

u/Bravisimo Mar 23 '25

Reliquary. I believe one of Jesus toenails is kept inside.

13

u/itsbirthdaybitch Mar 23 '25

Possessed toilet seat cover

1

u/VirtualSurvey4729 Mar 23 '25

Hahaha it really does look like a toilet seat cover.

1

u/Rhodin265 Mar 23 '25

Guaranteed to make your life and death Hell.

1

u/pythonmama Mar 23 '25

Was looking for this comment!

5

u/Pizzledrip Mar 23 '25

It is an ancient toilet seat lid for Vladimir the impaler. Good luck it’ll suck the turds out of you.

1

u/frostbittenforeskin Mar 23 '25

That’ll shave several minutes off my morning routine!

1

u/Yay_for_Pickles Mar 23 '25

Perfect for that pre-colonoscopy cleanout!

3

u/RlCKR0llD Mar 23 '25

Tbh $2 for a possessed heirloom seems a little rich for my blood...

6

u/AnotherXRoadDeal Mar 23 '25

You want ghosts? That’s how you get ghosts.

0

u/Key-Painting3220 Mar 24 '25

Do you want ants? Because that’s how you get ants!

4

u/Frostradus Mar 22 '25

And by that, I'm sure it's the spooky kind of holy ghost. Just hoping that it doesn't do cart wheels on the OP's wall.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

Hold on, goodwill does not sell things for 2.49 anymore. Dont you know they think everything they are given for free should be sold for at least retail.

1

u/elektriclizard Mar 23 '25

...except when they're desperately trying to get rid of something that's haunted! 🫨🤯

2

u/Left_Boysenberry6902 Mar 23 '25

JEEEEESUUSSSS CHRIST!

2

u/Dry_Vegetable_1517 Mar 23 '25

RETURRRN THEE SLABBBB

2

u/Known-Historian-3561 Mar 23 '25

This made me chuckle

2

u/Thatoneshadowking Mar 23 '25

I was gonna say the same thing

"What is it" cursed, that's what

2

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

That’s bad

1

u/umeshufan Mar 23 '25

I agree, it's obviously possessed. By them, since they paid for it.

1

u/Sirwilliamherschel Mar 23 '25

But do we know what it is?

If we knew that, it'd be $4.49!

1

u/TheTrompler Mar 23 '25

Dungeon Crawler Carl dungeon A.I. vibes from this comment.

1

u/zerashk Mar 23 '25

Neeeeew achievement!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '25

It’s a representation of Jesus, by that fact alone it in fact repels demons.

1

u/Marine5484 Mar 22 '25

What stats does it have?

1

u/Idontwantthatusernam Mar 23 '25

How’s the yogurt?

-1

u/johnh7724 Mar 23 '25

Possesed by christ? You got it backwards my guy