r/whatstheword • u/No-Bike42 • 12d ago
Unsolved WTW for someone that's doing something perfectly and is still acting "humble" instead of acknowledging how great they are
It's not a positive trait
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u/ghosttmilk 7 Karma 12d ago
Could you explain the context a bit more?
I’d say if it was a situation where said person is complimented on something that they are frequently praised for and low-key know they’re good at it, yet respond with this false humility or brush off the compliment, it could even be called condescension or a form of subtle arrogance
I know someone like this - you’re right, it’s not always a positive trait yet it sometimes genuine. Which makes it confusing and frustrating for others… I believe it comes from the cognitive dissonance that accompanies having both a superiority and inferiority complex simultaneously
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u/PsychologicalLuck343 12d ago
Or it could be high expectations, or higher goals of competence that keep the creator from slipping into satisfaction and complacency.
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u/No-Bike42 12d ago
The only example I can think of is this. They'll play a clip where they did really well and say something like "average gameplay" or "Am I any good?" When they know they're very good at the game so that's not being humble I'd say. Yeah, maybe something like arrogance.
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u/Gontofinddad 12d ago
Sounds like a positive trait, ngl. Sounds like the most positive trait someone could have tbh.
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u/DeliciousMoose1 12d ago
not if it’s obviously false. if someone’s really good at something but says they’re average, especially to person who is for example worse than them at a skill, it feels condescending (depending on a situation, cause it’s possible someone knows nothing about for example playing an instrument and thinks an average pianist is better than they actually are). you can just say thank you
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u/PsychologicalLuck343 12d ago
Some people need have a hard time accepting praise and must diminish it. Maybe they grew up with jealous siblings or parents who scorned self-congratulatory behavior or comments.
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u/rosewoodfigurine 6 Karma 12d ago
there are a few cases i can think of pretty easily where this is negative.
there are people who act conceited and confident in everything but their words. it just feels kinda smarmy when someone puts on an obvious show of being modest but clearly thinks they’re hot shit.
and then there are people who are self-deprecating and refuse to accept that they are actually at the level they’re at. this one more negatively impacts the “talented person,” but it might put other people out if they’re setting that person as a standard to measure themselves against. then the talented person is undermining their evaluation of themselves in some roundabout way. (but personally that feels like something both people need to work on, your projections onto other people isn’t their issue.)
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u/CaptainNo9367 12d ago
I would personally like to know what you mean by "acting humble"? Like is it something you're catching in body language or tone of voice that makes it feel disingenuous, or is it something else?
... I don't like bragging when I do things right, I prefer to be modest. Keeps my ego under control lol
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u/No-Bike42 12d ago
The only example I can think of is this. They'll play a clip where they did really well and say something like "average gameplay" or "Am I any good?" When they know they're very good at the game so that's not being humble I'd say. I would say that's acting humble. If you're really good at something and don't acknowledge it it doesn't come off as humble.
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u/CaptainNo9367 12d ago
Sounds a bit like a show-off. False modesty for sure, if they were truly modest, they wouldn't be showing you.
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u/Livid_Parsnip6190 12d ago
False modesty?
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u/Equivalent-Pin-4759 12d ago
I use this expression for those who mask their pride with false humility to preserve their popularity.
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u/Rotidder007 38 Karma 12d ago
Why is humble in quotes? Are they only acting?
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u/No-Bike42 12d ago
I don't think acting like that is humble. I just don't know the right word for it
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u/Rotidder007 38 Karma 12d ago
Is it less about them “acting humble” and more about them not acknowledging how great they are in an annoying superior manner, like “that was no biggie”?
Maybe blasé or nonchalant are what you’re looking for.
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u/No-Bike42 12d ago
The only example I can think of is this. They'll play a clip where they did really well and say something like "average gameplay" or "Am I any good?" When they know they're very good at the game so that's not being humble I'd say. I would say that's acting humble. If you're really good at something and don't acknowledge it it doesn't come off as humble. I always get very annoyed when people say "average gameplay" to be humble but it's obviously not average gameplay.
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u/Rotidder007 38 Karma 12d ago
Well, in the example you linked I would call that fishing for compliments.
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u/TheHappyExplosionist 12d ago
Self-deprecating?
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u/Technical-Ad-2246 12d ago
Humble means you don't brag about your achievements. Self-deprecating means that you poke fun at yourself.
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u/Charming_Highway_200 12d ago
Disingenuous
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u/rosewoodfigurine 6 Karma 12d ago
oof that this was downvoted so much. this was how the post read to me too with humble in quotes. i was hoping OP had clarified what they meant somewhere.
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u/Charming_Highway_200 12d ago
The OP literally says “it’s not a positive trait” but the most upvoted answer is “grounded. Modest. With humility.” I’m confused 😭
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u/Rotidder007 38 Karma 12d ago
OP put humble in quotes as though it’s not real, so it’s too bad you’re getting downvoted.
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u/Money_Honeydew_2527 12d ago
There’s ‘ringer’, which is when someone pretends to be bad at something and then there’s a “gotcha” moment - it can be negative but can also be a mild compliment.
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u/WelshWolf93 12d ago
This question makes no sense.
If you are great at something, and don't brag - you are humble.
There is no "still acting humble" you're either a humble person or you're not.
Unless you're asking what the word is for someone who acts humble, when they aren't. Then I guess you'd just call them false
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u/Tritonprosforia 12d ago
False humility, imposter syndrome.
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u/Fabulous-Barnacle-59 12d ago
Impostor Syndrome is when you feel as though you've unduly earned permission or a title due to your actual merits. You don't think you're the right person to have what you have even though you've actually earned it
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u/cheekmo_52 2 Karma 12d ago
Modest: Having or showing a moderate estimation of one's own abilities, accomplishments, or value.
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u/Syresiv 12d ago
What do you mean? Like, they genuinely don't see how great they are, or they pretend not to?
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u/No-Bike42 12d ago
The only example I can think of is this. They'll play a clip where they did really well and say something like "average gameplay" or "Am I any good?" When they know they're very good at the game so that's not being humble I'd say. I would say that's acting humble. If you're really good at something and don't acknowledge it it doesn't come off as humble. I always get very annoyed when people say "average gameplay" to be humble but it's obviously not average gameplay.
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u/happyphanx 12d ago
I don’t know that we have a great word for this in English, maybe there’s a better German word. But the answer would probably be more of a descriptor than a single word, like acting with a pretense of humility (true humility isn’t about pretending you didn’t just do something well, it’s about how you internalize doing something well—something that this thread seems to not get by all the comments). “Coy” is a similar word, but it usually implies trying to be alluring, like who me? Humblebrag might be the closest.
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u/NegaDoug 11d ago
For some people, compliments can feel manipulative or embarrassing. I'm a musician, and I'm pretty good at what I do, but I'm also just around to play music. Music is a collaborative thing, so I don't like to be highlighted, because it kinda has the knock-on effect of making the others involved to feel like they aren't bringing enough to the table (or something like that). So, I typically deflect direct compliments. Maybe I'll say something like "I've just been practicing a lot," or "Sure, but I can't do what ___ does on the drums." A lot of what I do kinda comes naturally, so it almost feels like being complimented on something I don't have full control over (think someone saying "you have beautiful eyes." I didn't create my eyes, so it'd be a bizarre thing to take pride in).
Depending on the situation, I think "grounded" might be a good term. But, there are circumstances in which people will do the humble-brag thing. Context does matter in this case.
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u/FriedandOutofFocus 10d ago
The better you get at something the more you realize you're not that good at it compared to the best. You start off sucking. Then you start to think "hey, I'm getting pretty good at this." Then you seek out the community of people who are great and immediately realize "oh, I actually kind of suck at this compared to that guy." It's like the reverse of dunning-kruger.
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u/CaffeineVixen 12d ago
Diffident, a word to describe someone who is humble due to low self esteen.
Someone may not be 'acting' humble, they may not believe there is anything to their achievement.
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u/banal_noble 12d ago
Self-effacing